So much has been said and written about relationships between men and women, that it would seem impossible to add anything new to the subject. But the paradox is no matter how much you read or consult specialists in this area, you can never find the answer to the main question why do men and women always compete with each other? Why can't creatures, so obviously meant to be "two halves of one whole," come to mutual understanding and happiness ?
Any man engaged in a relationship will tell you that his other half always asks for too much, and that he can't even imagine fulfilling all her needs. And any woman, in return, will say that her man is lazy, doesn't care for her enough, is egocentric, indifferent, and much, much more. In short women are never happy with their men, and men are practically scared of women, because they have no idea how to realize their idea of a perfect relationship.
In addition, we find it extremely difficult to understand each other when it comes to very important, basic questions of life. A famous movie director once said: "Why are there no great female writers?, because a woman can't sit still. She must run around and do something. And men? They are ready to sit all their life!"
This saying perhaps reflects the main difference between men and women. But instead of admitting and dealing with our nature , we try to change those we love, to make them fit with our own perception of reality. Women want their men to "run around" and keep busy, but often men just want to "do their own thing" without feeling guilty.
Kabbalah says that in order to deal with ourselves and our partners, we must first of all become aware of our spiritual roots. It's no accident that sometimes we feel like men and women come from different planets because in fact, their souls come from different sources, Kabbalah explains.
But one thing men and women have in common is something Kabbalah calls " the development of desires ." Over time, both men's and women's desires have grown, starting out from small, basic desires, and growing to more complex desires. For example, in the past women were satisfied if they had a home, a husband, and children. But as their desires developed, they began wanting different things, such as wealth, prestige, and knowledge, and therefore broke away from their "dependence on men." They could no longer be satisfied by staying at home, and not only that they also wanted to believe that they can go on without men, that they are actually better, smarter, and more capable.
In different cultures this tendency was expressed to different extents, but the general impact is now showing itself very clearly. Over half of marriages end in divorce, many people prefer not to get married at all, and the very thought of having children seems like a nightmare for them. Men want to run away from women, women want to destroy men. In short, our growing egos are unable to recognize any needs apart from their own, and this leads to even bigger dissociation between the sexes.
To get out of this growing crisis, Kabbalah suggests that what we have to get rid of is not our dependence on our partners, but our dependence on our own egos! Once we realize this, we will start looking at the world differently. We will stop competing and trying to prove that some of us are better, or more important than the other sex because really, this is just like an argument between two hands about which one is superior! Instead, we all should realize our roles and get on living happily together, each taking care of their part of the job.
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