Submitted by: Robin Brown(1,462) Log in to become a member of Robin Brown's Fan Club!
What is LOVE? I’ve learned that it is something which I know very little about for as I think I know about it, it only grows to astound me further. It’s like that old saying... “The more I know, the less I actually know... relatively speaking." I am happily married with an incredible angel who teaches me something new everyday of my life! I have recently learned that I am now unable to hold the purpose of loving another when the heavens have informed me to cease in this effort to do so until that love is placed through myself first. I am not speaking about narcissism. I am speaking about loving oneself. I am learning to place that focus of love upon myself before sending that love to another. I can say the words of love a thousand times a day and it feels good to say them yet I must know that if this love is not sent through the self first... then I might as well go read and study Freud. I sometimes feel as though I am in a quandary in coming to terms with the essence of my love for I am learning that it can only hold it’s purity when it is placed upon the self before offering it to another. Is there not a choice one can hold in this quarantine? Why must I love myself first before I can give that love to another? I have always felt as though it was good practice to love others in order to know about the true nature of love which can then be given back to the self at some point. Is it now that this practise is to pay off and come back to me to love myself... finally? I still question this process. Can one not experience love through the loving of another or must the understanding of love travel through the loving of oneself first? If both are true, what is the difference of feeling? Is that the “secret of love" one must find for him or herself? Does this not make me think of the true definition of love and if so... what is that true definition now? Is love defined by a definition which someone can give to me or is it what I believe it to be in my heart? Oh, what a mess! Is it true that one’s love will in time be judged if its essence is not accepted first as a personal experience within that self? Can this love actually become a pain to another by them seeing that it is not being utilized first upon the person who is offering that love? I am currently awakening to this new line of thought and pondering on whether it is too late to acheive this so-called “truer" love. Must I begin all over again with this new paradigm of thinking or can I assert myself with this thinking and re-activate the love I already hold inside within a different chamber of my heart? I wish not create discomfort to another by sharing what I believe my love to be. I want my love to be pure and illuminating without any negative strings attached. I desire to learn this new paradigm of love because it seems to make more personal sense to me at this particular point in my life. I just wasn’t aware of what I was keeping from myself all these years. Loving oneself first and foremost might definitely be the way to go when dealing with love because this type of love can become more understanding for expansion of love to occur! Which means... I get more “good feelings" as time goes on! Once a self-experienced love is given, I can sense its power within instead of just mentally believing in it to be real or as something I read about in a love story or saw in a movie! This new paradigm of love is understood through the personal feeling of it’s essence before it is given or passed to another. This creates a tremendous strength with my love and when it is offered to another after this personal experience, it’s depth can not be chartered. It becomes too broad and too deep! I’ve learned that this is the beauty of my love. It grows as I experience it more and more. I know in time, I will learn something brand new about it’s essence if and only if I continue to use it with myself and then sharing it with those around me for this is the true glorious nature of LOVE! It is the respect for my love... and she knows who she is!
Love is the answer and you know that for sure,
Love is flower you got to let it, you got to let it grow
-John Lennon
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