Fear has infected the dating world. It has poisoned the minds of millions of single men and women. It has them walking scared. Afraid to approach. Afraid to interact. Afraid to take action.
The fear of rejection is slowly overwhelming the dating world. Singles have become so terrified of someone not returning their interest, they are no longer interacting with other singles.
For many singles, the fear of rejection is so great, they convince themselves it's not worth it. That the potential damage to their ego is too severe. That the risks of being vulnerable outweigh any and all positives.
So they don't approach. They don't interact. They tell themselves an unsuccessful interaction will have everyone laughing at them. Or make them look like a loser. Or lessen their value as a human being.
These beliefs couldn't be any further from the truth. Their fear couldn't be any more misguided. The only thing singles should fear is arriving home and kicking themselves for not approaching someone they were interested in.
Meeting new singles isn't risky. It's actually a no-lose proposition. If the interaction goes well, you might land a date with an attractive single. If not, you're no worse off than if you never approached.
No one is going to laugh at you if your interaction doesn't go well. It won't make you look like a loser. The only thing interacting with other attractive singles will do is make you look cool, calm and confident.
Living in fear is no way to live. And it's no way to date. If you wait for attractive singles to fall effortlessly into your lap, you might be waiting for some time. You might have to wait for years.
In the meantime, you'll become too reliant on your social circle. You won't date much. And this lack of dating activity will put too much pressure on you when you finally do land a date.
It's time singles put the fear of rejection behind them. It's time they started toughening up their fragile egos. It's time they start to flex their social muscles. It's time they fought their fear with facts.
To do this, singles have to drill three important facts into their brain: You have nothing to lose by approaching other singles. If someone isn't interested in an interaction, it doesn't say anything about who you are. And the only thing you should fear is going home and kicking yourself for not approaching someone who interested you.
Singles have to realize the fear of rejection has no place in dating and it can be overcome in two simple steps.
Overcoming the fear of rejection can be done in two steps. The first step is improving your attraction and interaction skills. This involves improving your body language, approach and conversation skills. The second step is getting some experience interacting with new singles.
Improving personal attraction and interaction skills provides singles with a huge boost of self-confidence. If they feel they know how to strut their stuff and impress anyone, they are going to dramatically reduce their approach anxiety. Which is key because approach anxiety is the most damaging dating aspect of the fear of rejection.
Without confidence in your attraction and interaction skills - approach anxiety can be devastating. Just the thought of approaching someone new - especially if they're attractive - is daunting. Without that personal confidence, approach anxiety can overcome singles.
They begin to sweat. Nervous butterflies fill their stomach. Their hands start shaking. Every worst case scenario runs through their mind. Fear suddenly plants their feet firmly to the floor. And they give up before they've even begun.
But singles that have confidence in their attraction and interaction skills have far less approach anxiety. They have an icebreaker in mind before they approach, they approach from the correct angles, they know how to immediately win someone over, and they know how to have amazing conversations.
These skills lessen one's anxiety with every step. Every approach. Every conversation. Knowledge is power, and it's no different in the dating world. If you know what you're doing, and have faith in your abilities, you dramatically lower your anxiety.
The second step to dismantling the fear of rejection is getting some experience interacting with new singles. Approach and interact with everyone around you, even if it's just for a couple of minutes. Search out strangers - especially attractive strangers - and engage them in conversation.
These interactions do two things. The first is, they allow singles to hone and perfect their attraction and interaction skills. The second is, it teaches singles that most of the time they approach someone, they are going to be welcomed - not rejected. And once they realize this, they replace their fear of rejection with the excitement of meeting someone new.
Most singles are shocked that the majority of their interactions are successful. That they are welcomed into even large groups. But it's no surprise. It's exciting to meet new people. To talk about new things. Especially with someone confident enough to approach strangers.
After as little as a dozen successful interactions, singles often find their fear of rejection is nearly gone. Their confidence is sky-high and experience hardened. They no longer care if someone isn't interested in them, because they know there are lots more singles who are.
People who've take these two simple steps and overcome their fear, often want to kick themselves for being scared and missing opportunities in the past. But they're usually too busy meeting and mingling with new people. So don't let the fear of rejection hold you back. Fight it with fact. Fight it with self-confidence. Fight it with experience. It's time you throw caution to the wind and start fearlessly interacting with other attractive singles. It's time you start living the life you deserve. A life full of amazing dates and unforgettable interactions.
* Neal Talbot is the president of Attraction All-Stars Enterprises Ltd, www.allstardatingtips.com creator and author of the best-selling dating e-book All-Star Dating & Attraction (both men's and women's versions). He can be found answering questions in the forum of www.allstardatingtips.com
» left by Susan Thom(12,105) Susan Thom (1 year 124 days ago.)
hi neal,
this was a well written, interesting article.
i'm glad i'm past the dating game scenario, i was lucky enough to meet my partner over the phone, at 12 years old, and we've known each other for 40 years.
but there were times apart throughout the years, and i always hated the "dating" scene. thanks for sharing, and good luck to all the singles out there.
and i hope you keep writing.
best regards,
sue thom Respond to this comment
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