Submitted by: Jon Searles(1,284) Jon Searles Log in to become a member of Jon Searles's Fan Club!
Lillian was her name and in 7 th grade she was the first girl that I had a chance to kiss after a junior high dance. My mother and father instilled in me the rule of respecting girls and never hitting girls. Well, that being the broad scope rules, I knew that I had to make sure it was appropriate for me to kiss Lillian good night after I walked her home. So, being nicely dressed in my burgundy corduroy pants and matching jacket, I asked her permission to kiss her good night. The next day, before the school had opened, as the buses disgorged the mass of school children I was met with jeers, and taunts of "can I kiss you good night" followed by kissing noises. This went on all day in every class and to some extent for the rest of my 7 th grade year. I tried to hide out at lunch and recess, but they found me. Even my friends considered me a nerd since I just didn't grab her and kiss her because that is what they say girls want. Even Lillian, through her look of shame and under considerable peer pressure, never again spoke to me but simply giggled among her friends as I walked by. I just knew she was explaining that I was the geek who actually asked to kiss her goodnight.
I don't think the experience scared me too terribly bad, but I did determine then that I was a geek when it came to asking girls out or starting relationships. It was not because I was too shy or scared, but maybe just too polite and respectful. Whenever I asked a girl out or to a dance and I was rejected I always said "Thank you". After all, I did not want her to feel bad for turning me down. There is a lot of pressure for girls in relationships. See what I mean about me being a geek.
I had a young man in my Sunday school class named Kevin. Kevin was a very smart, good looking and strongly built young man. He was a little shy, but had lots of friends. When a Sadie Hawkins dance (a dance party in which girls ask guys to attend) came to the high school I asked him if he had been asked to go and he had not. When, without his knowing, I asked a few girls in the youth group why he had not been asked they said, "Mr. Searles, he is cute, but he is the type of boy you marry, not the type you date." There seemed to be a side complement for Kevin somewhere in the comment and a parallel to me.
As luck would have it I my college roommate had decided to fix me up with a girl he knew from his home town. The girl was entering college at the same time I was and was the sister of my roommate's best friend. On our first introduction at a chance meeting in the local grocery store where I worked my roommate introduced us by saying, "I want to meet your future wife" and he turned to a stunned and red faced girl and said "I want to meet your future husband." Obviously we did not fall madly in love at that point, but awkwardly said hello and goodbye. At the time I was wearing brown corduroy pants and the red vest required as part of my work uniform. I believe my vest was equipped with and properly stocked pocket protector and a nametag.
I dated a little in high school and college, but I constantly found that my way of treating of young lady seemed to be a little outdated and old fashioned. I would pull out chairs at meals only to be stared at as if I was playing a practical joke, I would open doors and offer my seat to strangers only to be looked at as if I had a third eye in the middle of my forehead. If a young man found it necessary to berate or talk rudely to a girl in school I would be the one who said something only to be beratedby the girl who was the target of the slurs "I can take care of myself!"
When I finally got enough nerve to ask the girl out (about a year after I met her in the grocery store) I began the relationship that has now spanned 27 years, 24 of which will be as a married couple this month. Looking back at the courtship I must tell you that I must be the geekiest, nerdiest, boyfriend and fiance known to these United States. My wife insists I would not ask her out until I got my full set of braces (railroad tracks) removed from my teeth.
I wrote love letters of undying love and devotion. I sent small gifts, cards, and flowers at every moment for encouragement and to make sure she knew I was there. I labeled her with terms of endearment such as "Snookums" and "My Sunshine". Now some of you may feel the hair stand up on the back of your neck when you recall an ex that was a little too consuming. I assure you I did not mail her a piece of my ear nor make any threats to my life concerning our love. I was deeply in love and would have left quietly without so much as a restraining order if she had shunned my love. Luckily for me she was just as geeky in her acceptance of me. My roommate somehow knew that my wife and I were made for each other.
Our courtship was right out of Father Knows Best. I even asked her father for her hand in marriage before she told him it was going to happen. Like I said, shyness was not a real problem for me. I just wanted things to be proper and honorable.
Twenty four years of marriage, and I am still a geek when it comes to loving my wife. Unconditional love of a woman who has shown me nothing but the same during our years together has been a blessing I never deserved. I still write notes, cards, and give unexpected gifts. Geeks in love make great geeky parents and hopefully someday I will be Grandpa Geek.
Just the other day, in full sight of the kids, I took my wife in my arms, kissed her and told her she was the most beautiful mom and wife in the world. My 20 year old son smiled at me, and said "Dad, you are such a geek!" Thank you!
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» left by Avis Ward(8,717) Avis Ward (48 days 17 hours ago.)
wooo hooo Jon! Congrats on the win! I can see why. Such sweet geeky stories with a happy ending. It will be funny calling you Grandpa Geek! lol
» left by Teresa Ortiz(5,015) Teresa Ortiz (47 days 9 hours ago.)
Jon, this is great! So sweet and I would have to agree with your comment to Avis. I'm sure it was supposed to say the "geek" will inherit the earth. :-)
Thanks for sharing and congrats on 24 years of marriage! My 24th is coming up in October. And I am so glad to know that we are not the only one's called geeks by our kids. Hoepfully we are setting a good old-fashioned geeky example of how to stay married and in love. With God's help, of course. :-)
Loved this article! I was lucky enough to find my very own geek back in the 80's. We've been married for 23 years and counting & I wouldn't trade him for ANYTHING! I go out with girlfriends who complain about how insensitive their men are... I just smile, nod and say, "You Poor Baby". The thing is, their football jock guy isn't so athletic anymore, but my geek is still all geek & always will be! :)
» left by Dianne Lehmann(2,587) Dianne Lehmann (46 days 16 hours ago.)
Hi Jon, your article is perfect in every way! I'm so glad that you wrote it for all of us to enjoy. So now I know, Geeks aren't just science nerds. Congrats on the win and Congrats on being so happily married! Personally, I think the world would be a better place if there were more men like you. You go Geek! Dianne
» left by Creative Blogger(5,220) Creative Blogger (46 days 12 hours ago.)
There are many guys here (UK) who still behave like 'gentlemen' (not geeks) and I wouldn't date any other kind. Oh, and I've been 'asked' for a kiss and thought it very nice. Respond to this comment
» left by Louie Jerome(12) Louie Jerome (45 days 19 hours ago.)
A great read. I'm from UK too and it's right that there are many guys here with old fashioned manners. I love it.
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