Our son is 23 years old and is officially done with his former life of toy collector. Of course mom and dad actually have been the collectors for these past two decades as an attic filled with toys would attest.
We have a small Fourth of July celebration in our town called Heritage Days. During these days we have all the things a little burg would have; fireworks, parade, antique auto display and of course the old tried and true flea market/garage sale.
The flea market isn't anything monumental like when we have the August county fair or balloon fest. But it is cheap at $10 a day for a spot and that is what led me to be sitting here with a sun burn on my face that makes people wince when they see me. Yes, I don't wear a hat. And no, I didn't think of sunbloc or anything else to wear that would keep me from looking like an overdone Tater Tot
My wife decided that she was going to try and get a few bucks for all the toys my son had received over the years. Now both sides of the family are large in numbers and in generosity, so the number of toys we had collected was almost staggering in size. From play sets to Tupperware after Tupperware box full of action figures, it is almost safe to say that if some toy company made it in the late 1980s through the 1990s, the Fak family owned it.
For about three weeks, the bathtub was the home to hundreds of Power Rangers, Star Wars creatures, wrestlers, Ninja Turtles and every other kind of action figure. Going into the bathroom, the bodies of tiny figures could be seen bobbing and weaving in the water looking like the aftermath from a tsunami.
Now Sharon is very conscientious. All broken figures or toys or play sets went in the garbage. If a toy was supposed to do something like have its head pop off or transform into something and it didn't, it found the cruel bottom of a trash bag on its way to the garbage cans. Only those that passed her rigid standards made it into the flea market area which was formerly our living room.
The day of the flea market, we got there early at 8:00 a.m. to find out where our spot was. The market didn't open till noon. We were pleased to see that it was first come, first served, and we got the first spot in the park coming from the town square. It was also the first spot before the trees in the park covered the summer sun providing shade and protection.
Now the first day was pretty good for a Friday, we sold a bunch of stuff and actually only needed the car and not the pickup truck to take back the evening's leftovers. The next day wasn't as good as we had hoped being about equal to the previous and all in all, my wife ended up making about $9 per hour when you factor in all her time.
Now as I was simmering in the warm day's sunlight cooking my face, I found myself spending the time studying the people who walked by us or walked inside our little tent which was too full of toys for me to find protection from the sun.
These are the rules of life I have learned as a flea marketer.
A dufus man and dufus wife, yield dufus kids. Every time these parent types, who we can all recognize from a block away, walked by our tent, their kids charged into the toy area, grabbing and dropping and having a tantrum when mom and dad said they already had enough junk. In a few cases, little ones were picked up screaming and yelling as they were prevented from breaking more toys than the ones they held ownership to. These parents should start saving for bail bondmen fees right now.
Grandmas make great toy buyers. Grandma's bought all the books and puzzles and a few stuffed animals from us. Their rationale is simple: Give these to the grandkids to show they are loved and grandma wants them to learn and then let mom and dad worry about still more crap to pick up.
The experts all go to flea markets. We had our share of toy experts who kept telling us this toy or that toy was worth more than the $1 or $2 price we had on it. My wife would always tell these folks they were more than welcomed to "steal" these treasures if they wanted but few backed their expertise with hard money.
Some families' decision making process is arduous. On several occasions, mom and dad stepped away to discuss buying a toy for their child. I wondered how this could be such a huge decision since nothing was over $5 in the whole tent. In one case, after about five minutes dad decided his little buddy could get the $2 action figure he desperately wanted. What was the discussion? Buy the $2 toy or buy that new car the family had been looking at?
Really nice men and women have really nice kids. Often as a couple would come up to us to chat, their child would be respectfully looking and gingerly holding all the neat stuff they didn't have in a heap already in their bedroom. Often mom and dad would spring for a couple bucks for their well-behaved child. I'm glad. Those kids were so cute and well mannered that I probably would have told them to just take the thing home with them and catch me when they became adults.
It's never over till the tent is struck. As we finished up and started to load things, several families came rushing over to grab something before we left. In fact, in the last ten minutes my wife collected more than $50 as mass purchasers went on a toy-buying frenzy.
There is a lot more but my time is up for now. All I can say is to look for my next book, "A Flea marketer's study of the human race."
It will be out sometime before the fall. You can find it in the "reference section of book stores under the category, "The evolution of the human condition as perceived by an outsider".
Freelance writer, columnist, author and writing coach, ex-Chicagoan Mike Fak presently resides in Central Illinois. More information about Mike's services are available at his home website www.mikefak.com
Mike currently writes humor columns for searchwarp bi-weekly and is the managing editor of www.lincolndailynews.com
» left by Laura (61 days 12 hours ago.)
Put on some sunblock and wear a hat. I didn't use to use sunblock either until last year. My sister asked me if I was in a race to see if I could die from skin cancer before I got lung cancer from smoking. Ok, so I still don't wear it, but I started telling her that I do. I love doing yard sales, seeing people enjoy going through the junk that I am anxious to get rid of. I'm an obsessive neat freak and I hate clutter. Purging anything from my house makes me feel good. I usually opt to donate it all, so my husband and children can't come out and start telling me that they are sentamentally attached to our junk.
» left by Mike Fak(3,517) Mike Fak (60 days 13 hours ago.)
Thanks Laura. Over the years we threw out tons of stuff but some of the action men got mixed up with the beany babbies and they had a bunch of kids that added to our clutter.I once told my wife we should throw away everything that's worthless. It took me an hour to free myself from the Hefty bag.
» left by Teresa Ortiz(5,005) Teresa Ortiz (61 days 5 hours ago.)
Thanks for the smile and the laugh. You just reminded me of why I am not having a garage sale as a result of my move--it's straight to the goodwill for this family's stuff. I can't wait to get the book :-)
» left by sue thom from nj (60 days 16 hours ago.)
hi mike, very funny and well written. i have yet to open either of my 3 kids closets, to find all the GI Joe's and barbies, etc. brave of you and your wife to take it on!
best regards,
sue
Disclaimer: All information on this site is
provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice
provided to you by any health care or other professional or
organization.
