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Looking for self improvement ideas? Interested in personal development? NLP offers a straightforward way to make those changes and become more resourceful individuals.
Neuro Linguistic Programming shows us how we are in charge of our own thinking and feeling, offering us tools for positive change and ways to enhance our lives through personal development.
“To be or not to be". Even Shakespeare realized that having a choice is so important to the individual. Having the ability to weigh up the options, make a judgment and then make a selection empowers us and gives us control in the way we live.
Yet we may not always consider one of the major decisions we can make concerning ourselves and the way we interact with other. Our lives are full of options, of choices to be made. Some simple ...paper or plastic, some bigger... PC or Mac and sometime much larger choices...married or single. We are used to making these kinds or decisions and yet may not be consciously aware of one of the most important choices we can make to improve our lives.
I remember when I first moved here to New York City from London, I was overwhelmed by the choices I was being asked to make…and that was just ordering breakfast at the local diner. Having decided I wanted a fried egg with toast, the waitress proceeded to rattle off the list of ways my eggs could cooked, …over easy, over well, sunny side up etc etc. Once that matter was settled we moved on the decision about the toast…what kind of bread I wanted, whole wheat, white, rye…and whether I wanted it buttered or not. By the end of ordering what I considered to be a fairly standard meal, I had already made a large number of decisions.
Now, these were hardly life altering choices, but just goes to demonstrate that our lives are full of options and that most of us are accomplished decision makers. Even in the areas of lifestyle, political affiliations, or religious choice we make the decisions that shape our lives with thought and consideration. Making choices is a natural part of our lives yet how much thought and consideration do we put into choosing our reaction, emotions and inner states? How often do you find yourself blaming others for how you feel?
Before I learned about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) I didn’t realize that I had the ability to make one of the most fundamental and important choices in my life. I was certainly one to say things just like that. “You’re making me so angry" was one of my stock phrases and at the time I really believed that the other person’s behavior was making me furious. I was all too keen to blame someone else for the way I was reacting or feeling.
Being "mad' or "angry" is a natural and normal emotion to experience at different times. In fact it can be a useful emotion in the right place and makes us a rounded person, able to a full range of feelings and emotions. But it is the control we give to the other person by saying "he makes me..." that I needed to change. By saying and believing this, I was allowing the other person to be in charge over how I was feeling, relinquishing my control and allowing myself to be entirely managed by them. Doesn't sound to good when put like this does it?
Now I know that I am in control of my own mind and therefore must be the one who is making myself feel "angry " or "mad". In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) this means living at “Cause" rather than “Effect", to choose to be at the ‘action’ position rather than reacting to other peoples’ behavior or choices. Being at “Cause" means, very simply, in this example: *Choosing what is best for me * managing my own inner state * being responsible for my emotions and reactions * generating more resourceful choices and options
as opposed to being at “effect": * allowing others to manage and influence my reactions * giving control to others * restricting my options and choices
Being at Cause places me in a more resourceful state, one where I can opt to take responsibility for my choices rather than act in response to others. We pride ourselves that we live in a free democracy, where we have a choice as to who to vote for, the news channel we watch, or the music we listen to. Now, with NLP and the idea of “cause and effect" I am able to choose to be in control of my reactions, of my inner state and my emotions. I can truly choose “to be or not to be".
Sarah Carson is an NLP Master Practitioner and certified Hypnotist. She is Director of the International Center for Positive Change and Hypnosis offering NLP certification, workshops, seminars and individual personal sessions. http://www.nlptrainingnewyork.com |
