I believe that, after deciding where they plan to spend eternity, the most important decision anyone can make is who they will spend their life with. However, before you can even begin to look for a spouse, you need to make sure you are prepared to receive the mate God has chosen for you. While finding the right spouse is important, being spiritually, mentally, and financially ready for marriage must come first.
How do you know if you are ready? A good starting place is prayer. Ask God to reveal to you:
IF your heart is right,
IF you are doing your best to walk in HIS will, and
IF you are a total person (someone who is trying to be better in every area of life).
If you will ever be a successful mate, you must first have an intimate relationship with Christ. He will direct your steps so start with that relationship first. Marriage is, after all, a covenant before God.
Once you have established and committed to work on your relationship with God, take a moment for a simple reality check. You may want to be married, but that doesn't mean you are prepared for it. Entering unprepared into a lifelong union leads to unhealthy stress that can be detrimental to a relationship. Analyze these four areas of your life:
1. Physically Are you taking care of yourself physically?
2. Mentally/Emotionally Are you mature enough to put another's needs before your own?
3. Spiritually/Morally Is your prayer life active? How is your relationship with God?
4. Economically Are your finances in order so you don't burden a relationship with large sums of debt?
Finally, before you begin the "search" for Mr. or Mrs. Right, establish firmly in your mind what your emotional needs are. Before you can pursue a spouse, you must know what you really need from a partner. Write it down! Knowing yourself allows you to approach relationships with honesty and is a vital step of preparing yourself for a lifelong partner.
Once you know your life is in order and you are prepared for marriage and your have prayerfully considered what you need from a partner, begin establishing positive relationships and pray for revelation from God. God wants you to have a healthy marriage! Allow him to be a part of every decision in your life, especially this one!
Paul J. Meyer is a best-selling author and founder of over 40 companies, but his greatest joy and fulfillment come from his marriage to his best friend, Jane. The father of 5 children and 15 grandchildren, Paul J. Meyer knows the value of a good marriage. To learn more, read How to Find the RIGHT Spouse for a Lifetime, available at www.pauljmeyer.com .
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