What do writers and pickup artists have in common? An opening, which doesn't hesitate to leave an impression. The difference between an opening and a pickup line is anything but subtle. The pickup line will be spotted a mile away like a bad haircut; the opening takes the form of a clever icebreaker. Many people have problems breaking the ice or starting a conversation. A great opening is a premade conversation starter. It's simple and non-threatening--anything but a line. Successful openings will never appear to be anything more than a plea for help or advice.
The basic format for a great opening is as follows: you see the subject(s) and approach. Ask a simple open-ended question, such as, "Can you tell me where the closest pet store is?" Almost everyone loves animals. This question opens up a conversation that could lead you to talk about your new puppy (real or imagined). It also gives you the opportunity to ask the other person if they have a pet, something that they will surely enjoy talking about. The key here is to get the other person(s) talking, so you may also want to consider thinking about a couple more questions ahead of time, something subtle.
A Bar Opening
Many people go to bars and nightclubs to pickup others. A bad opening will have as positive a reaction as a pickup line. Be careful. Many women expect men to try to pick them up at the bar; their guard will be up. Some men will make the mistake of incorporating a drink into their routine. Don't ask what she's drinking, or if she wants a drink within the first 15 minutes of the initial introduction. Even if she asks, especially if she asks, don't do it. Chances are she's trolling for free drinks, so you won't get anywhere anyway. Play hardball. If she asks you to buy her a drink, tell her you'll gladly buy the second if she buys the first. This way you can evaluate how interested she is.
Start with this: Can I ask you a question?
Almost every time she will respond with yes. There are a couple of different ways to go about asking. The first scenario goes like this, "I was just talking to my buddy and we need a girl's opinion on something, would you mind? She'll probably answer a curious yes. "Well, my friend is crazy about this girl he works with. He's been nuts about her forever and wont approach her because they work together. From a woman's point of view, what do you think about dating someone that you work with?" If she's interested, you've got her because this leaves the door open for a real discussion.
The other approach is to connect with her heart. This often works better when you are not at a nightclub, however, I have witnessed friends use this approach with mastery. The idea is to find common ground. In other words, if you are pursuing a woman, empower her with a question only she can answer. The best example of this is to ask the girl for advice on matters of the heart. You can say something like this, "I have a friend who just met a girl who has old pictures of her former boyfriend on her mirror and dresser. Should he be concerned? What do you think this means?" This will qualify her as an expert by allowing her to comment from a female perspective. It is a way of empowering her while in-turn opening up a conversation.
No matter where you are, if you ask a simple yes or no question, you will be forgotten quicker than the answer. Remember, you are planting a seed that will hopefully flower into a connection. Whether it blossoms into a budding romance or it is a brief fling--success depends upon being smooth. Since we all use openers at different points throughout our lives, make yours unique and based off the principal discussed above. Your opening line should not be you running up and blurting out a question. Keep your opening natural and suited to the subject(s). Remember confidence will go a long way, so act cool and casual even if you are sweating bullets.
Opening the door to happiness until next time...
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