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I did not know what a rough ride I was in for when I chose abstinence over 8 years ago. Yet, it was totally worth it, both for the understanding it brought me and the character development abstinence required me to find.
Unfortunately, back when I made this choice in April of 2000, my girlfriend of the time was neither amused or sympathetic. In fact, she broke up with me over this issue. Trial number one had begun. I was racked with the pain of loss and the uncertainty of whether I really made the right decision or not.
Since she was not encumbered by such an 'impractical' choice, it was easy for her to move on and find someone new. Not so for me, as I subsequently discovered that most women today have absolutely no wish to be abstinent and will shun the man who does. Additional pain and suffering rained down upon me.
Experience has taught me that very, very few people actually practice abstinence. There are a few more that talk about it or say they do, but in reality they don't practice it. In fact, it is shocking to me to hear from people that think it was good enough to remain abstinent for a year. Yet, they still did not marry. Well, that isn't really abstinence, is it?
Some people talk-the-talk, but it is amazing to me how many of those people don't walk-the-walk. In fact, it is downright disgraceful.
The beauty of abstinence, if truly practiced, is that you can build a stronger foundation for a relationship. You can truly learn whether a person is right for you or not. But as soon as you unleash the chains of passion, you are forever blinded to what you don't have and the growth of the relationship is retarded to a very strong degree. How many people stay in such a relationship, when deep down inside they don't feel good about it?
In fact, experience and observation has shown me that many people are mismatched. And I suspect that a lot of people, if they asked themselves this question and are honest with themselves about the answer, know that they are with the wrong person.
For those who profess to believe in God, there is a bigger dimension to consider. These people, by nature of their belief, would mostly agree that God has a plan for everyone. That means your life is predetermined to a large extent including the person you were supposed to marry. But what ruins this natural plan is having sex without being married. You bond yourself to the wrong person and you aren't available when the right person walks right past you.
But, don't worry, 99% of the people around you are in the same boat. And with so many people missing the person they were supposed to be with, according to God's plan, then no one is following His chosen course. The whole society is in ruins as a result. Everyone is with the wrong person and having the wrong set of experiences. No one follows the plan. This ruins God's plan for your life and the lives of so many others - the plan that was best and custom tailored for you. This is why sex outside of marriage is a sin - it ruins everything and forces us on a path of spiritual evolution that is not the best.
I realize that not everyone believes in God. You can also look at this in practical terms. In fact, I think that many people don't need me to point out the practical, it should be pretty obvious. Single parent families, abortions, unwanted pregnancies, misery, despair, unhappiness - all for a little premarital fun.
I'm not perfect either. I was thirty-one when I decided to become abstinent. It's been a hard road, harder than you might imagine. I've finally found someone who actually can endure abstinence. We are compatible in so many little ways, that I can have little doubt that we are right for each other. None of the partners in my days of non-abstinence even came close to this.
I'm not condemning nor judging, I'm just pointing out the facts. Or, as some may argue, I'm pointing out my opinions. Fact or opinion? YOU be the judge.
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