Submitted by: Penelope Przekop(16) Log in to become a member of Penelope Przekop's Fan Club!
A n aberration is a departure from the right, normal, or usual course. It's also defined as a deviation from the ordinary, usual, or normal type. So what is right? What is normal or usual? Who can tell me? And if what is right and normal is so ordinary, what's so exciting, unique, or interesting about that? Why are so many of us trying to shed what makes us unique and chase after normal? It sounds pretty darn boring to me. Am I missing something? We all have aberrations, whether physical, mental, or emotional. Aberrations can be extreme or they can be nuances that make us different from our neighbor. Whatever your aberration, it's a large part of what makes you unique. It lifts you from the so-called ordinary crowd and makes you the star of your own life. It gives you character and is an important building block of the priceless masterpiece of who you are. Having a mother who suffered from mental illness was my childhood aberration, what made me feel different and caused me to close out the world when I desperately needed attention and support. In college, I became pregnant and had a baby out of wedlock, which also made me feel different at the time, given the culture and environment. Aberrations come in many forms from numerous sources - family, genes, accidents, choices, circumstances. No matter what it is, dwelling on it as a negative won't get you where you want or need to go. Instead, accept your aberration, embrace it for all it's worth. Before you have one more negative thought about the aberration that seems to holds you down, consider these messages for accepting yourself, aberrations and all.
1) Resist the urge to compare yourself to others. Everyone has something that can be categorized as an aberration. Some can be seen, while others are hidden in the heart. Our tendency is to be too hard on ourselves and compare ourselves to others through the lens of our own special aberration. This is a trap that leads nowhere. Accept that no one is perfect, no one is normal, and that the unique facets of who we are, even the things we wish we could change, make us special. Accept yourself and be first-rate at it!
2) Be your own personal coach. Avoid critical self-talk. Instead, coach yourself through the challenges your aberrations brings. The things we say to ourselves can be more damaging than the things others say to us. It's easy to believe everyone else is thinking what we're thinking; therefore, self-talk has the power to create an extremely negative or positive lens that we must look through every day. If you strive to be positive towards yourself, you'll find that the world will begin to have a more positive feel all around. Positive outcomes will follow. There truly is value in the power of positive thinking! Give it a try.
3) Don't let your aberration be the captain of your ship. Regardless of your aberration, resist the natural tendency to let it dictate far beyond its natural reach. Realize that it has boundaries within the scope of your life; don't let it creep outside the fence. Often we must adjust our lives to accommodate an aberration; but it shouldn't take over every facet of life. Life is complex, and so are you. There is much, much more to you than your aberration. If that doesn't seem to be true, take a hard look at the captain of your ship. Take charge!
4) Open up to those who share your aberration. There are as many aberrations as there are individuals; however, there may be others who share your specific aberration. Don't let the aberration keep you from reaching out. Being around or communicating with others who share your plight in life can be a powerful and uplifting experience. You can learn from them and they can learn from you. It's not always easy to find these people but there are avenues you can explore. Take a chance and see how it goes. The pay-off could be enormous.
5) Make an effort to accept the aberrations of others. The more you accept yourself, the more you'll be able to accept and understand the unique aberrations of others. It works the other way around as well. Reaching out or seeking to understand what others are dealing with will help you accept yourself. Rather than comparing yourself to them, operate with the understanding that whatever it is, it's a unique calling card that tells the world who you are. Show the world that you have the courage to fully explore every possible positive aspect of the gifts you possess. At times this may call for creativity but there is always something positive to be found in yourself and in others. You just have to look for it.
6) Don't blame yourself or others for your aberration. Whether your aberration is physical, mental, or emotional, blaming yourself or others won't make it any better. It's often challenging to accept the life we're given. If it's possible to overcome your aberration, take action toward that outcome rather than spending your time thinking about who's to blame. If your aberration is a fact of life that will never change, it's best to seek a positive place for it in your life. Nothing, including blaming, will make it go away. Placing blame will only hold you back and keep you from coming to terms with reality. Seek to forgive.
7) Don't be ashamed of your aberration. Shame can follow any type of aberration. Shame and embarrassment keep us from engaging with others. We're afraid we'll be judged and misunderstood. Yes, there is always a chance that can happen, but it may not. Remember that everyone has an aberration. You just may not be able to see it or understand it. No one is better than you. No one can compete with who you are. Be proud of that, look for the positives, and stretch yourself. Take a chance!
Join the aberration nation. After all, you're surrounded by its inhabitants. It's the real world, full of beautiful, wounded, and triumphant individuals - just like you.
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