When you are at a party, or maybe a job interview, there can be points where the conversation wanes and/or falls flat. So, you can use some methods perk things up. Now, the first thing you want to remember is: do not panic! It is common for any conversation to go through peaks and valleys.
Step one, be sure to maintain eye contact with the other person. This will help them to feel that you are connected with them. Next, and this is something to keep in mind over the course of the conversation - pay attention to what the other person has said. That way, if things start to fall off, you can paraphrase back to them what you have heard. Very often, this will inspire the other person to find other things to add to the conversation.
After that, try to think of questions you can ask them about what they have said. Also, playing the old "Devil's Advocate" scenario can work too. There is just one thing about that, be wary of coming across as too judgmental or negative. This can result in them shutting down and not wanting to speak further. Boy, talk about sucking the steam right out a conversation! So, watch what you ask, and then ask in depth follow up questions that pull out still more information from the speaker.
If the subject of the conversation has truly run its course, then there are still other means of keeping things rolling along. First, just ask the other person questions about themselves. Something as simple as: "Where are you from?" can go a long way to re-energizing the conversation. A lot of people enjoy the prospect of talking about themselves. You can ask about their life, where they are from, what places they like to visit, and so on.
Next, if their "life questions" do not lead anywhere; you can ask something as simple as: "What was the last movie you saw, and what did you think of it?" You can also ask what their political views are, are they worried about Global Warming, and so forth.
Of course, sometimes the other person in the conversation can simply not have anything more to contribute. This is where you can step in and perk things up. So, step one, do a little review in your mind as to what has been the subject (or subjects) of the conversation. Next, look at some other subject you can relate to one (or more) of them. And, don't think in a straight, linear fashion. Try to, as They say "think outside the box". As an example, if you have been talking about favorite vacation spots, and someone has mentioned how much they love Cape Cod, you could mention the fact that the movie "Jaws" was filmed out on Martha's Vineyard Island. This could lead to a whole discussion of movies, of that movie, of the author of the book, or even of the actors and / or director. After all, "Jaws" was one of Steven Spielberg's biggest hits.
Finally, a change of venue can also help. You can suggest going out for coffee, going to grab a bite to eat, going to a bar or cafe to get a drink, and so on. In the movie "Music and Lyrics", Drew Barrymore's character suggested getting out of Hugh Grant's apartment so they can get some inspiration for writing a song. Well, the same can be true for a conversation. Even just going for a walk can help. You move around, the blood flows, the brain gets active; you see things, hear things, and ideas can come to you.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: communication skills
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