Not being able to sleep last night afforded me a chance to lay in bed and watch TV. I don't watch television very much at all anymore, opting for writing over TV, but I didn't feel like writing, so the television kept me company for a change. That's what prompted me to write about television commercials today.
There are some commercials I really like. I absolutely adore the little Gieco lizard commercials. He's adorably cute and the concept is a good one in general, but I found I liked him a whole lot better before he began speaking. There are some people in this world who are good to look at, right up until they open their mouths. You know the type, I'm sure.
I also like the Aflac duck commercials very much. The one where the guy ordered Chinese food is hilarious!
Now, what I would really like to see... I'd like to see the Gieco lizard and the Alfac Duck either get it on or brawl it out. Who do you think would win? The Duck or the Reptile? My money is on the duck, much as I like the little lizard dude. But I digress, this article is not an advertisement for Geico or Aflac.
Does anyone remember the old '80s commercial for, I think it was Dominos Pizza? Avoid the Noid? I used to love these commercials. I'd come running from any room in the house to see the Noid....and I would laugh so hard I'd cry! We are hard pressed to find commercials of this caliber any longer.
"Where's the Beef?"
After my television watching bout last night, I find I am in complete and utter stunned shock at some of the ad campaigns that companies are coming up with. I mean, have you ever watched a commercial and found yourself asking, "What product was that for?"
If you don't know what the product they were trying to sell is, don't you think the advertisers missed the mark with the ad?
Okay, you want an example? Sure!
Last night, I watched a commercial that has a woman in a white dress, long and flowing. There is a man in cream colored slacks and a cream shirt - and they are dancing in what appears to be rain. It's all very sexy, with a solid shiny bluish black background and water everywhere. Then the scene cuts away to another couple dressed identically, except for the colors of their clothes are black. The commercial shoots back and forth between these two couples, who are getting wet and near copulating while dancing.
Does anyone want to guess what the advertisement was for?
Clothing? Nope.
Perfume? Nope.
Diamonds? Nope.
Folks, the commercial was for - get this now - TIRES!
I guess I've never found tires very sexy, myself.
Anyway, that one isn't nearly as bad as the paper towel commercial. You know the one where the buff stud of a man standing at the counter, frosting a cake. The entire time, he looks either like he's trying to be seductive or he's straining trying to hold back a big dump. I'm not sure which. No, really. Watch his face next time, you'll see what I mean.
Anyway, here's this studmuffin frosting the cake - with brown frosting, yes brown - but somehow, uh oh, white frosting ends up on the countertop. The man sensually and slowly tears off a small sheet of the paper towel, bends over slowly, and wipes the counter away - the whole time "making eyes" at the camera.
Then he holds up a frosted birthday cake and a puppy - and apparently the puppy is a bad boy. "And here's to you Mrs. Parker" blah, blah, blah.
Now, name/brand recognition at least works on this one, as I'm sure all of you in America can tell me exactly which paper towel this was for, can't you? And I guess the idea was sex appeal for housewives, but really, come on people - how the heck did the folks who sat around and came up with the concept for this ad do so with straight faces?
I can see them now, martini lunch catered (ah, that's the problem, martini's) and they are all getting sloshed and say, "Hey, I gots us an idea! Lets get a gay guy to bake a cake and hold a puppy - and sell some paper towels!"
Another commercial that really irritates me, it's an older one and I haven't seen it in awhile, but it's for diamonds. I think DeBeers - leave it to someone to put diamonds and beer in the same sentence (AND yes, I DO know that this is someone's last name.)
The commercial I'm referring to is the one where the man and lady are in a court square type place, with a fountain in the middle. The man yells out very loudly, "I love this woman!!" The woman gets mad at him, is embarassed, and tells him to shut up (okay, she shushes him, but same difference.)
Shoot, I'd be tickled pink if a man stood in the middle of a park and screamed that he loved me - I'd laugh my butt off and tell him I loved him too (assuming I did.)
Anyway, the point is that she's mad at him and embarassed too, until he pulls out a diamond ring - (or some piece of diamond jewelry, can't remember what now) and then all of the sudden she loves him sooooo much!
All right, gentlemen, diamonds aren't everything. Don't get me wrong, I'll gladly give my PO box address to anyone who wants to send me one in the mail for free, but in all sincerity, diamonds don't make or break a relationship. If I'm upset at my man, buying me a diamond is probably only going to make me more upset, thinking he thinks he can BUY my affection - uh, no!
My mother says that she has a piece of jewelry for every single fight my father and her had during their 28 years of marriage. Guess I know where I get it from, huh?
The last commercial I want to talk about today is for a breakfast cereal. In this one, the product is easy to recognize. It's a healthy heart type of cereal, one made to help people be healthier and live longer. A mother and a teenaged daughter are sitting at the table talking about the cereal. The daughter asks her what it is, and the mother answers. Then the mother says something along the lines of, "It will help me live longer, so I'm going to be around for a long time."
To which the daughter very sarcastically says, while almost rolling her eyes, "Great..."
Yes, folks, we have come to a point in society where teenagers not only now can't wait to move out, but it is also socially acceptable for them to wish their parents would die early.
And there you have my rant about television commercials today. I'm really not making any type of a comment on society as a whole with this, but I do have to wonder: if advertisers are supposed to be appealing to the needs of the consumers, exactly what have the consumer's needs become?
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Hi Michelle. I think you must have way more interesting commercials where you live. I have seen the Geico and Aflac commercials, however. I think that scrappy little gecko would have it all over the duck in a fight.
We don't really watch much TV either and a lot of what we do watch, we record and fast forward through the commercials. There was on last night, though, that I still don't know what it is for. There is a woman driving a somewhat sporty black car. She looks angry and intent. She pulls off onto the dirt shoulder of the road with a dust kicking skid. She gets out, opens her trunk, puts on a pair of work gloves and starts her chain saw. She then cuts through a telephone pole and as the poles start falling over, domino fashion, she walks back to her car. I'm still wondering what all that anger and violence to telephone poles is about and last night wasn't the first time I had seen that commercial.
Very entertaining article Michy, where once commercials were either funny or annoying, now I watch them as a lesson in advertising. Amazing what sparks our buying habits.
This was great! I loved your ranting :-) Commercials have definetly changed. And I do think it is a reflection of what society wants and it does appear that what sells is the sex. Very funny, thanks for taking my down memory lane.
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