Now I haven't always been the most submissive wife and I still have my moments. In any event, I desire to satisfy my husband. Often, he will refer me to God's Word on the issue. Not because he is trying to Bible thump me or get his own way, but because I have a desire to learn and know God's Word. Without a shadow of a doubt, I believe God's Word to be true and I want to live by it.
You ask, why would I ask about being submissive? Although it is not just about sex, I have had some experiences where I was the one who had to be in charge. I was single for many years after my first marriage fell apart. Being a single mom I was the decision maker of our home. However, my decision making when it came to dating and other activities left a lot to be desired.
I was raped at a bar and also while out running in the streets. I already had a hard shell from my childhood so it didn't help when I made wrong choices, which in turn made me even harder. It was difficult to adjust to having a new husband, but then to be submissive to him? Ouch! He often told me I was a diamond in the rough.
Since I have made a decision to love God instead of myself, I want to know what His Word commands. I am not a Bible scholar or even close. Nonetheless, following the Lord has been the best decision in my life. I hope some of those rough spots have been smoothed.
So let's talk about sex and marriage according to God's Word. You are probably wondering why I am writing this topic. I pray that if just one person could learn from my example they may decide to wait until that special someone comes into their life if they choose not to be alone. Being promiscuous (as I once was) should a person decide to go down that path is very lonely, painful and not to mention the guilt I experienced.
Marriage versus sex is no comparison for me. God's Word talks about the sanctity of marriage in several passages. Here are just a few that I know are a blessing and found to be true.
Starting in the book of Solomon chapter 2:2-7 he embraces love as God meant it to be.
Lover
2 Like a lily among thorns
is my darling among the maidens.
Beloved
3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my lover among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
4 He has taken me to the banquet hall,
and his banner over me is love.
5 Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for I am faint with love.
6 His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.
7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
In these passages, it is clear that the couple find each both attractive and desirable. Next to follow is courtship where they fall in love. However, the daughter is cautious not to engage in love making until they are married. It wasn't lust at first sight, but rather a beautiful relationship of love followed by marriage as God would be pleased.
Now let us move to the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 7:1-5 where the Apostle Paul writes:
Marriage
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Footnotes:
- 1 Corinthians 7:1 Or "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman."
I was neglected and abandoned as a young child so being alone was never a thought for me. I was always searching for approval and love. Unfortunately, it was in all the wrong places and in the wrong things.
Today I am proud to be faithfully married to a man who has put his banner of love over me. I no longer choose to live the lifestyle I used to. We devote ourselves to prayer and one another. This of course is after our Heavenly Father.
The last passage I would like to share comes from 1 Peter 3:1-6.
Wives and Husbands
1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
My greatest desire is to serve our Lord God. My life is much better since I fell in love with Jesus. I know that my inside beauty reflects on my outward appearance even when I am in a baseball cap and t-shirt. I like to dress up, but if I don't it is okay because I know where my approval comes from. It is not from any person, what I do for a living or who I know. I will forever be grateful for the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for me. I am only human and could never live up to the Old Testament Law. But, because of Jesus, I can tell you, "that I am clean before the Lord!"
Thank you Lord Jesus! I will forever praise you and lift your name on high. In Jesus Holy name,
AMEN.
