"If you can give me the rest of that ham I just had for breakfast and let me give her a name, that'll be enough."
The doctor was about ready to leave the small, unpainted house he had entered before four o'clock that morning.
He had successfully delivered the baby girl. He had been served a delicious breakfast. The father was ready to pay him something for his help.
The doctor had a houseful of daughters. His wife had never let him name any one of them "Helen," which he had longed to do. So, the newborn baby in the house atop the mountain in rural Tennessee that morning was named "Helen" according to his wish.
Helen became her middle name, preceded by "Mary," the name of her mother's sister who was visiting and who cooked the doctor's breakfast early that day.
Mary Helen was the fourth of seven children born to her parents. She was such a beautiful baby that her mother received offers to adopt her and invitations to enter her into baby beauty contests, all of which she abruptly refused.
Mary Helen, or Helen, as her future husband would call her, grew up fast, married young, and had three children-a girl and two boys-by her 22 nd birthday.
A few years after she got married, she became a Christian. She chose a Bible verse to mark her dedication at that time: "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service" (Romans 12:1). That became her life's verse.
Her young husband did not understand or approve of her faithful walks to church every Sunday and Wednesday night with young children in tow. She did not let that keep her from going.
When her husband did begin to understand a few years later, he also believed that God had called him to preach. He began to study the Bible seriously.
Soon he left his job and their new life of service to God together began. From that time until his death at age 67, they ministered as home missionaries among the poor in Appalachian Tennessee and he was the pastor of various churches in Florida. In Florida as they had done in Tennessee, they made a special effort to help the poor, primarily migrant workers and tenant farmers.
Mary Helen learned how to make a little go a long way and to trust God in everything. She cooked, canned, sewed, led Vacation Bible Schools, taught Sunday school, and worked with women's groups.
When groceries were hard to come by, someone would leave food, as was the custom those days, on the front porch or steps.
A creative person, Mary Helen used a no-nonsense approach. One time, she was one of two people selected for special church training for a needed program. The training would take place in Nashville, Tennessee, where her mother-in-law lived. Mary Helen was then living in Cookeville, Tennessee.
"I mean, we had nothing," she says when asked about that time.
On the day she should leave for the training, she and her husband sat at the table. The youngest child was at home, too young for school, and the older two were in school. She wanted to go to the training, but there was no money for the bus tickets.
A few weeks earlier, she had sent her mother-in-law a letter telling her that she hoped to go to Nashville and would stay with her if she did. She even gave the time when she hoped to leave, according to the bus schedule.
The couple sat at the table and prayed. They agreed that if God wanted her to go to Nashville, He would get her there.
She dressed and packed a suitcase. Her little son came into the room. He had gotten dressed and ready to go too.
They waited.
Soon there was a knock at the door. Her husband went to the door and recognized the young man standing there, who had helped him lead songs in revival on a few occasions.
The young man said, "I was just passing through Cookeville, and I felt the Lord was telling me you need money. Here's $40." He handed over money and left.
"We split the money," she said. "I took twenty for the bus tickets and he took the other twenty for when I was away."
Mary Helen and her youngest son caught the bus. She would decide how to get to her mother-in-law's when she got there.
When she got off the bus in Nashville, a man approached her and pointed to a stretch limousine at the curb. "Your mother-in-law told me to pick you up," he said.
"I was never so embarrassed in my life," she said. "We went with him, though. He and his wife rented an apartment in James' mother's house, and she told him to come pick me up. He was the driver for Cowboy Copas, a singer at the Grand Ole Opry."
How did her mother-in-law know she was coming? Did she call to tell her?
"Call? We had no phone. She had my letter saying I hoped to come. That was how we lived. We trusted God for everything."
She went forward everywhere she went. She visited sick and upset people. She answered many telephone calls from people in the church. She kept her husband's appointment schedule at home.
Once, after a trip to Texas to visit a well-known branch of her father's family, she was asked if she enjoyed herself.
"I was never so bored in my life," she said. "All they knew to talk about was money!"
Mary Helen never learned to drive; but she made tailored suits for her husband that looked like they had come from a good store. He drove her to fabric places where she looked for the finest at the best prices.
She made hand-made quilts, crewel-embroidered pictures and designs on clothes, painted in oils, upholstered furniture, and taught ceramics. She had a large kiln for that.
She gave many of her handiworks away, inside and outside the family.
When she was in her 60s, she began to lose her sight due to glaucoma and not having regular eye checkups. One eye surgery with many hopes pinned to it failed due to staff failure to note an allergic reaction to a pain medication.
When all the new stitches came loose when she became violently ill, she was left almost blind. She never mentioned suing. "I know he felt terrible," she said of the surgeon, whom she admired.
Eventually, she lost almost all of her sight and became legally blind. Two corneal transplants and 23 total eye surgeries, most at Shands Hospital in Gainesville, Florida, could not reverse the loss.
Today, Mary Helen has rare, momentary flashes of sight when she can detect light, shadow, or color. She crochets by feeling the yarn. She mends her clothes, irons them when she is able---she has had a few heart surgeries---and keeps up with the news on television and radio.
She can no longer go up and down stairs alone. Seven years ago, she moved from sunny Florida to cold-winter Maryland to live with a son and his family. After moving, she learned that a surgeon trained by her eye specialist at Shands was practicing in the Washington DC area, and that young surgeon became her new eye specialist.
Blind people have eye needs that many are unaware of and would never suspect. For Mary Helen, there is a need for continual lubrication of the eyes and removal of old stitch-filaments that continue to emerge and need removal.
Mary Helen so far is able to travel alone by plane once a year to go from Maryland to Florida for extended visits with a daughter and grandchildren. Until recent years, she has had no need of a wheelchair.
Her favorite pastime is reading books on tape. Many states, like Maryland and Florida, have programs for the blind, and provide books on tape at no cost. The U. S. Postal Service delivers them back and forth at no charge, in special green plastic carriers. The card on top fits into a special pocket, reversible when a tape is ready to return to the Blind Services agency.
Services for the Blind also provide a special tape player that plays special tapes that run longer than most audiotapes.
One summer, Mary Helen's oldest son and his wife took her to Spain. She could still see a little bit then. She saw as much as she could discern of the sunrises over the Mediterranean, sipping her essential morning coffee.
Friends from Switzerland were with them on that trip, staying in another villa. When they all got together one of the friends from England talked with her about books. She knew every book that he, a well-read Brit, could mention. They shared numerous conversations about favorite writers.
Later, they went to Paris. While they stood in a long line at the Louvre, an observant worker recognized her white cane, came over to her, and ushered her and her family to the front of the line. A life-long dream was fulfilled when she saw the Mona Lisa up close, as well as other paintings she had read about and studied from books in years past.
Today, she enjoys reading fiction and history. She enjoys re-reading Charles Dickens, James Michener, Jan Karon, and so many other old and new writers there are too many to list. She enjoys a good mystery.
On a visit to a public library once with a granddaughter, they stood in front of the audio books section. "What kind of book are you looking for, Grandma?" the granddaughter asked.
"Murder and mayhem," Mary Helen answered loudly, and the laughter around them filled the air. They left with a few Agatha Christie, P. D. James, and other mysteries.
She has read voluminous books on English history, a favorite topic. She can tell the lineage of her mother's family from Scotland and the British connections along the way. She knows the monarchies and historical highlights.
She has the Bible on tape and enjoys singing in her room the old songs she can hardly find churches singing anymore.
She continues to be a listener for everyone in the family, hearing their ups, downs, and sideways of life.
July 30 is Mary Helen's birthday. When she goes out to dinner tonight, she will likely be dressed to the nines, as usual, with jewelry perfect for the ensemble she has chosen.
Mary Helen is the only living parent of my husband and me. She is a fine, informed, and interesting lady. She is a Christian through and through, with a rare balance of simplicity, complexity, and humility. She has a healthy view of her life and faith.
I know this very well, for she lives in our house. She is my mother-in-law, and I am blessed!
What a nice tribute to your mother-in-law. It reminded me so much of my mother who passed away five years ago at the age of 81. She married at 15, lived with and loved her husband until his death three days before their 66th wedding anniversary. Her religious faith directed everything she did. I miss her!
Mary Helen is blessed to have a daughter-in-law who loves and appreciates her. May the two of you have many more years of such a wonderful relationship.
» left by Jane Bullard (121 days ago.)
Hi Patricia, thank you for your comment. What a rich heritage for you through such an influence as your mom.I feel blessed to have generational ties with people of strong faith. Again, thank you for your comments! God bless you.Jane
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