I was attending a Celebrate Recovery meeting being held at our church on Friday nights. I became more and more involved in these meetings and one day someone asked me to help her with the teen group. I tried to resist because I didn't know the first thing about running a youth group. To complicate things my own girls are teenagers and these were their friends. Most of them had spent many hours at my house swimming, eating dinner with us or just hanging out in the garage with my girls.
All of these teenagers are good kids, they seemed to be happy except for the normal boy/girl problems that most people that age run into. Little did I know what I was in for!! They felt safe within the group, and with the encouragement of myself and the other leader, they began to share their life stories.
The first time they opened up and shared what was really going on in their lives, I thought I was never going to stop crying inside. We've all heard about the horror stories, from friends, the news, or we read about it somewhere, but until you actually have a child sit in front of you bearing his/her soul with endless tears falling, letting out his/her deepest darkest secrets, you don't realize how much the behavior of an adult impacts the life a child.
These teenagers who had spent countless hours at my home, always seemed like they had not a care in the world other then where they were going to hang out the next day, were sitting in- a room with me crying out for the world to hear them and hoping someone could understand their pain. The first story I heard is about four children who had lost their mom 5 years ago and are presently forced to live with relatives who really don't want to be bothered with any of them. The oldest was 12 when her mom died and is still struggling with her death; and the trouble she has found herself in most of her young life. She has just turned 18 and was recently released from juvenile hall for various issues. Her family told her she may not return home nor is she welcome to visit. She is struggling to pull her life together in order to save her siblings from the path gone down. The others are forced to sleep on the basement floor on bed rolls, even though there are enough empty rooms and beds in the house. They're not allowed to use the washer/dryer and are forced to scrub their clothes in the bath tub. Most of the time they're confined to the house, except when the adults go off on their Friday night ritual to gamble the money received from social security for the children's care. The only reason these kids could make it to church, was because of the Friday night ritual. Another teenager shared how he/she had lived on the street with their father from infancy until early teens and had only recently gone to live with his/her mom. They remember sleeping in parks, doorways, or a shelter if they got there in time for a bed, but most of the time they went hungry because the father had to have his beer. The father is an alcoholic continuously breaking the child's heart with empty promises. He/she has a hard time understanding the disease and lives with bitter anger towards his/her Dad and it is eating away at the soul. One particular teen was at our house almost every day, never letting on that they were homeless and sleeping in mom's car. Another homeless child we ended up taking in to our home, giving her a roof over her head, 3 square meals a day and most of all we were showing her love. Mom is a drug addict and is having a hard time cleaning up. Another child came to our house after mom beat her and screamed "get out and don't ever come back". We provided a safe harbor for the child until we could get the school, police, courts, and the social services involved to help her. This particular story doesn't have a happy ending. I cry just thinking about it.
There are so many stories that I could write about, but it would take me forever to write them and I think this gives you a glimps into the lives they live. I've heard about the horror stories regarding children from friends, the news, and I have even read about them, but, hearing them first hand in the child's own words, as they are crying due to the enormous pain they carry around deep in side with them, was almost more then I could handle. I even cried with them. Some stories being shared at group were so sad there was not a dry eye in the room.
After the first night of sharing I went home, climbed into bed, but sleep evaded me. The thought of kids sleeping in cars, on basement floors, or possible being beaten by a drunken parent had me crying all night and praying for the kids that seem to be forgotten by the world. I'm chocked up just writing this article, my compassion for these teenagers runs deep, my bucket of sorrow is over flowing with their stories, and my tears continue to fall for the teens out there in the world suffering because parents can't put their owns lives together, let alone help a teenager through one of the toughest times in their lives, teenage years!!!
Everyone can make a difference in the life of a child or teenager. Even if you don't know any children or teenagers experiencing this living hell, they are out there and they need your help. Please pray for my teens, I love each of those in my group and all are dear to my heart. I would also ask that you pray for all the teenagers, their lives seem so much more horrible and complicated than the one I grew up in.
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