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Home » Categories » Entertainment » Humor » The Rooster That Wouldn’t Come to Dinner » Printer Friendly

Sandra E. Graham

The Rooster That Wouldn’t Come to Dinner

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Submitted Sunday, August 10, 2008
Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham

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Growing up in St. Louis, Missouri, I guess I could have been classified as your typical "city kid". I was in my teens before I was ever introduced to a world called "the country" and became aware of wild animals that made strange noises in the night and vicious insects that bored into your skin and hauled away your blood. This is not to say that I was totally ignorant of a place where grass grew and there were certain animals that could chew that grass until it became the milk, which they gave to the milkman who in turn delivered it to my doorstep. I read books and I watched television----we didn't have a set, but our neighbors did. They allowed me to come over for two hours twice a week to watch The Cisco Kid and Hoppalong Cassidy.

Along with my parents and seven brothers and sisters, I lived in the first floor apartment of a three-story brownstone. Our front door opened directly onto the sidewalk---no porch, no steps.

One of the things I remember best about my city life was that we lived just a few blocks from the Mississippi River and along with several other kids from the neighborhood, that is where most of my free time was spent. Every Saturday we were on the boat docks shortly after dawn waiting for the handouts that inevitably arrived with the crews of the huge iron barges that went up and down the river daily our favorite being the banana boats. We stuffed ourselves with the over-ripe fruit and went home with bellyaches.

Playing in the streets was another favorite pastime especially in summer when the fire department came around and opened the fire hydrants. The cool water gushed out, filling the street and banking up against the curbs.

Wading and splashing in the murky water, I never once entertained the fear of snakes and snapping turtles. My only fear was my mother seeing the stains on my clothes and the filth in my hair---a fear that didn't raise its ugly head until well after the fact.

*****

I was fourteen years old when I went to spend two weeks on my grandparent's farm. The farm was located a few miles south of Poplar Bluff in an area affectionately called Rattlesnake Ridge. Naturally, tall tales abounded of snakes big enough to bite the face off your hunting dog and too big to fit down into a six-inch stovepipe!

Now whether or not there were snakes that big, I didn't know, but there were snakes. And my grandmother could attest that they did bite. She had been bitten twice while working in her flowerbeds. Grandmother was a tough little lady and was left only with a fading memory of the two incidents and the less than fading scars where Granddad had cut open the wounds to let the poison flow out.

Staying with my Grandparents was all right, but I was a kid and being a kid I became more than a little bored after the first two days there. Then I discovered I had cousins---a boy just older and a girl just younger than myself---living about ten miles down the dirt road that ran past my grandparents' house. They had stopped by with my aunt and uncle on their way back home from town one day. It took us all of five minutes to decide that I would just have to go spend the night with them.

The one night extended to encompass the remainder of my two-week stay in the country. I felt bad about leaving my grandparents, but kids tend to gravitate toward other kids that's nature.

For the first time in my life I drank cool-aid with no sugar---and loved it. I used an out door toilet with the great black hole that housed incredibly (I was sure) huge spiders just waiting to pounce on my bare bottom. Thank God for chamber pots for there was no way I was stepping out the back door after dark on a mission to answer nature's call! Night noises in the country are something best dealt with behind closed doors---with several lamps shining.

My Uncle owned and operated a sawmill which he, my aunt, and my two cousins worked diligently together. I worked alongside my cousins, helping to stack the long strips of bark that my uncle deftly sliced away from the logs as they were pulled into the huge saw blade.

It was almost noon on Friday when my aunt told my cousin Sharon to take me and go to the house and kill a chicken to cook for supper. She said to catch the old black rooster with the long tail feathers since he was so old he couldn't possibly live much longer anyway. She told us to put him in a pot to cook with dumplings because he would be too tough to fry.

*****

Now, you would think that killing a poor helpless chicken would be about the easiest thing a person could do but there must be a trick to it, because easy is not a word I would have used to describe my first encounter with preparing a chicken dinner from scratch.

With Sharon sneaking up on him from one side and me slowly moving in from another, we had talked to him soothingly. I know he was listening because he kept cocking his head to one side and looking at me with one eye, then the other. If I got too close, however, he had high-stepped away with his wings held out from his body as though prepared for flight. I wasn't fooled by his proud stance because Sharon had told me that chickens couldn't fly.

We had finally cornered him against a fence and I pounced on him before he could plan his next move. When the dust had settled I had come up with empty arms. From a dust-caked face I looked around for the errant fowl while Sharon laughed at my face and clothes. Ok. Just a minor set back. Looking around the yard we found the rooster trying to make himself as inconspicuous as possible in the middle of a flock of hens.

This time we decided that a straightforward frontal attack would be the best course of action. Without hesitation we ran through the flock, scattering chickens and grabbing for the rooster while he was still confused by all the commotion. Again he eluded our grasp and disappeared around the corner of the porch, headed for the front yard.

We found him again strutting and jerkily tossing his cockscomb from side to side as he endeavored to stay one step ahead of us. We would stop and he would stop. We took one step he took two, turning his head from side to side to look back at us.

Whack! I nearly jumped out of my skin! Sharon had cracked the poor rooster's skull with a long thin strip of wood. The rooster dropped to ground without a flutter. After recovering from my initial shock, I patted Sharon on the back and profusely congratulated her on her quick thinking and even quicker reflexes.

Our joy, however, was short lived. Leaning to one side as though the earth had tilted on its axis, the rooster was on the move again. With dust fogging from his feathers, he headed toward the barn with its wide open doors.

"If he gets into the barn, we'll never find him in all that junk!" Sharon shouted as we entered the race again.

Being older and longer-legged than Sharon, I was soon close on the rooster's tail. And just before he entered the barn, I made a footballer's dive for the contrary bird. When the dust cleared again, I picked myself up and dusted myself off with the tail feathers that I had gripped tightly in my fingers.

Sad to say---they were attached to nothing.

*****

We had bowed our heads that night over our plates as Aunt Fern said grace and thanked our Lord for the meal we were about to receive. Amen. I had looked around the table at the tired faces and thought about the good times that I had had during my short stay here. I would be going home Sunday morning. My parents were coming for me Saturday and would stay over night before driving back to St. Louis on Sunday.

"That bird was tougher than I thought," Aunt Fern said as she chewed a mouthful of the chicken and dumplings, "has a strange taste."

"Probably ‘cause we had to chase him all over heck's half acre." Sharon grimaced as she looked my way and gently kicked my shin under the table.

"Now I ain't saying it ain't good, Sharon. It's just fine actually. That so, Dad?" Aunt Fern gave my uncle a look that said, ‘just agree with me.'

"Yes, Mother. I don't think I've tasted better. Unless, of course, it was yours, Mother." He smiled sweetly.

Today I can still remember my first taste of rattlesnake meat. It truly does taste a lot like chicken. And I don't guess my cousin ever told her mom and dad about old man Wilson stopping by that fateful day with a package of fresh dressed rattler---the day the rooster got clean away.

 
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By Sandra E. Graham----author of Amos Jakey and Nicolina, Published by American Book Publishing. I also write reviews for other authors. Visit my website for more info on my writing and reviews; http://www.sandragraham-articles-books.com






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Comments on this article:


» left by Susan Thom (9,120)
Susan Thom
(115 days 18 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
hi sandra,
 
not having had grandparents in many years, it's cool to hear stories of times gone by. i'm glad you were able to share them, and in such a nice way. thanks for taking the time,
 
best regards,
 
sue

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (114 days 23 hours ago.)

Thanks, Sue.  I wasn't very close with my grandparents---we lived too far apart.  I'm lucky, however, my grandkids (or at least most of them) live right here close to me and we spend a lot of time together.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Michelle Mackin (4,008)
Michelle Mackin
(115 days 7 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Another excellent article Sandra! Snakes give me the shivers. I think that someone would have to tell me it was chicken and never tell me otherwise or I probably would never try it. I get a brain block when I hear certain things and snakes would be one of them. Even garden snakes.
 
God bless you always

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (114 days 23 hours ago.)

thanks for reading and commenting, Michelle.  Glad you liked the article.  My cousins and I had great fun that time we spent together.  We lived too far apart to see each other often; so we made the most of it.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by kim (115 days 6 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Another really great article. I dont see myself eating snake unless someone told me it was something else, just sounds gross.

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (114 days 23 hours ago.)

thanks for reading and commenting, Kim.  If it's cooked right, snake does really taste a lot like chicken.  However, a true chicken lover can tell the difference.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Robert Melaccio, Sr. (6,428)
Robert Melaccio, Sr.
(115 days 4 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Great memories but I'll pass on dinner as well. No thanks, I do not need emcouragement. Good job though.

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar. USA (114 days 23 hours ago.)

Thanks, for reading and commenting, Robert.  I had some great times that two weeks that I spent with my cousins in Missouri.  I didn't want to go home.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Brittany Shearer from Paragould, Arkansas (114 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Greart article! Dont belive I would eat snake though....NASTY!!!!!!

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar. USA (113 days 21 hours ago.)

I don't think I could eat it now, either.   That was a long time ago and I really don't remember what it tasted like.
Thanks for reading.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Anonymous (114 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Sandra: Another good article. Yep. It sure reminds me of the good old days. I sure am thankful for bathrooms now........

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (113 days 21 hours ago.)

Thank you so much for reading and commenting.  That was one of the more fun times of the 'so called' good ole' days.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Sandra 

Respond to this comment

» left by Venessa Wallis from Franklin AR (114 days ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Sandy: This is another really good article. Sounds like down home living for me too.
Thank goodness for bathrooms with showers and toilet seats and lights.......And they can keep the rattlesnake meat. Don't believe I care of any thank you.
 
 
Venessa Wallis
Franklin AR

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» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (113 days 21 hours ago.)

Thanks, Venessa.  I thought you would like this one.  And yes you can add my AMEN to indoor plumbing!  It may have been around for a long time--but it was much longer for the backwoods country in many places.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Kacy Carr (112 days 15 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
I loved the story Sandra - for a while there I was in the chase with you. I was picturing you trying to catch the rooster and it brought tears to my eyes with laughter. Ssssssssso Long
Kacy

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» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (112 days 8 hours ago.)

Thank you, Kacy, reading and commenting.  And believe it or not--this was a true story.  We were both laughing at ourselves as we chased that rooster around the yard.  I remember it as though it were yesterday and not forty-nine years ago!
Glad you enjoyed it.
Sandra

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» left by Dianne Lehmann (3,085)
Dianne Lehmann
(112 days 5 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Hi Sandra. I loved this story. Rich memories. What a wonderful experience for you to have had. Thank you for sharing it. Made me remember times on my Aunt's farm in Ohio.
 
Dianne

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» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (112 days 3 hours ago.)

Thanks for reading and commenting, Dianne.  I'm glad you enjoyed the article.  I was a fun time for me--but then, it doesn't take much for kids to find fun in most situations.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Freida from Arkansas (112 days 5 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
I love this story!! It brought a smile to my face just thinking of the chase that occurred around the yard and how comical it must have been. That sure was one smart or very fast chicken!! It is sad though that the times now are too occupied and busy for the times that you would call the good ol' days.

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (112 days 3 hours ago.)

When you're a kid (for most kids, anyway) any day is a 'good ole' day', but there  were hard times as well.  Luckily for me, I remember all the good times and few if any bad times.  Although, we were 'dirt poor'; we were happy most of the time.  As I said above, it doesn't take much for kids to find fun.
Thanks for reading and commenting, dear Freida.
Sandra

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» left by Olof Eriksen (77)
Olof Eriksen
(112 days 3 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
Hello again, Sandra.
 
Remember me? Growing up on a farm during and after WWII, I can relate to this artickle which I found most enlightening.

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (112 days 2 hours ago.)

Hello, Olof---How can I forget you?  I consider you a new and dear friend.  Thanks for reading and commenting on my article.  Growing up in Missouri and Arkansas in a large family of eight children, we saw some hard times--when money was a figment of our imagination, food and new clothes a luxury, and candy a total unknown.  But we had a good life--our parents were good to us and we grew up knowing we were loved.  Not one of us turned out bad--we learned to respect our elders and work hard at whatever we had to do.
As kids we always managed to find or make fun even without toys.  I learned to ride a bicycle on a tiny old rusty bike with no chain---we pushed it to the top of a trucking ramp and road it down to the street.
Have a good day, Olof and Welcome to searchwarp.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Steve Casteel (0) (111 days 6 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
Very nice article Sandra. It reminds me of my boyhood days visiting my grandparents in the summer.

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar. USA (111 days 2 hours ago.)

Thanks for reading and commenting, Steve.  You appear to be new to searchwarp; if so, welcome aboard.  Looking forward to reading your articles.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Camille Strate (1,378)
Camille Strate
(109 days 9 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Sandra~ You brought me to that farm with your words! Thanks so much for sharing this story. Nice twist at the end....well done!
 
Camille

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (109 days 2 hours ago.)

Glad you could join us---we had a great time.  Thanks for reading and commenting, Camille.  Glad you enjoyed the article.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Angie Downing (268) (106 days 19 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Hi Sandra,
 
That was a great article and I enjoyed it. I even got a good laugh, just imagining you kids chasing that old rooster, yet never catching it. But, eating a rattle snake, well that is something I can't ever see myself doing. I guess I'd have to be truly starving, then maybe. 

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (106 days 9 hours ago.)

Thank you so much, Angie, for your kind comments.  I'm glad you enjoyed the article.  I certainly enjoyed writing it.  Country kids have to find their fun where they can.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by Anonymous from San Antonio, Texas (106 days 4 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
This was one great article! Full of humor and so well written. It was as though I were there watching those kids chase that rooster. I'm glad he got away. Here in Texas we have a rattle snake round-up every year and if you haven't tried it, you need to come on down and join us. It's great fun and rattler meat is really good if you know how to cook it!
 
The Texan

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» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (106 days 3 hours ago.)

Thanks, Texan, for reading and commenting.  I'm glad you enjoyed the article.  It was great fun chasing that rooster, but I doubt I could have helped kill it and cook it anyway; so all in all, it was a good thing that it got away.
Sandra

Respond to this comment

» left by David from Dallas (104 days 23 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Another fantastic article. I think this one may be funnier than the last. You amaze me. Keep'em coming.

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar USA (104 days 8 hours ago.)

Thank you, David, for reading and commenting on my article.  Glad you enjoyed it. I certainly enjoyed writing it.
Sandra

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» left by Anonymous from Jacksonport (100 days 23 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Funniest article I've read in a long time. Brings back old memories for me too when I was a skinny, gawky, kid.
 
Great article. Sandra.

Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham (2,260)
Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, Ar. USA (99 days 22 hours ago.)

Thanks for reading and commenting, Jacksonport.  I'm so glad you enjoyed the article.  I enjoyed writing it and had a great time that week with my cousins.
Sandra

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