Next weekend our town will be hosting our annual art fair and hot air balloon fest. It is probably the most intense weekend of the year what with surrounding towns and big city folks coming to see about 40 hot air balloons go up into the sky twice a day.
Of course sometimes they don't due to weather conditions but the fair type atmosphere at the airport and having dozens of excellent artists downtown in the park means there is more to the weekend than just balloons.
I will be running around all weekend of course, looking for those special pictures of people having fun as well as a story or two that might be worth retelling.
I won't go up in a balloon. I haven't in the twenty years they have traveled to our city. I imagine that since you all know me as a fearless and fun loving person that my choice to stay on the ground deserves an explanation.
I was six or seven years old the first time I had an aerial mishap. Or should I say, I almost had one. For my birthday I received my very own Superman suit.
Now in the mid 1950s Superman was the best of all the heroes. There were all the great cowboy heroes of the day, but let's be honest; a guy with super powers including super strength could take all the Hopalong Cassidys and Gene Autry's and Lone Rangers with just one finger.
Of course the man of steel wouldn't hurt someone who didn't deserve it. He was the ultimate good guy. He also could fly.
I recall for years having dreams of running down the block, sticking my arms out in front of me and taking off into the heavens. My nightmares would be when I couldn't get off the ground or I did but kept coming back down instead of soaring off into the high night sky. At an early age it was obvious to every one; my desire to fly was the central theme in my childhood.
Now my parents didn't have much money but they still bought me the expensive Superman suit for my birthday. For years I had stolen bath towel after bath towel, tucked them in the back of my shirt and whooshed around the neighborhood. Many of the towels never made it home. Others that did were so dirty or torn that they didn't even make decent rags. I imagine it was because of this that mom and dad saw the Superman suit as a money saving decision rather than an expense.
I still remember the incredible feeling I had when I first donned that suit. Standing in front of the hall mirror in all my splendor with hands on hips, I decided it was time to fulfill my destiny.
Going into the living room, I removed the third floor screen. Climbing onto the window ledge, I prepared to leap out into the wild blue yonder, fly around the block a few times and maybe stop a bank robbery or two. At just that moment of historical import, my mom grabbed me by the cape and pulled me back forever into the world of mere mortals.
The remaining years of my childhood were split between lectures on doing my homework and why I could not fly.
Over the decades I have been on many an airplane, from large to small. I have always felt uncomfortable being subjected to the whims of a mechanical apparatus when the possibility I could fly if I had learned so at an early age constantly entering my mind.
My wife and son think I am a wuss when it comes to not going up in a balloon. They don't understand that in an open gondola, I probably wouldn't be able to fight the urge of a half century to prove I have the ability to fly without any aid except the winds themselves.
You see the reason people don't see me in shorts or with my shirt off is because I still wear a Superman suit under my clothes. I still believe I can fly.
I'm also old enough to fathom the repercussions in the event I am wrong.
Freelance writer, columnist, author and writing coach, ex-Chicagoan Mike Fak presently resides in Central Illinois. More information about Mike's services are available at his home website www.mikefak.com
Mike currently writes primarily humor columns for searchwarp bi-weekly and is the managing editor of www.lincolndailynews.com
Hi Mike. Wonderful story. Loved it. Do you really still think that you could fly if you just gave it a try? Sometimes I still wonder. I got a little further than you did, but not from a three story window and I didn't have a suit. My parents bought me the Annie Oakley outfit (I'd have worn it every day if my mom would have let me...everywhere). Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks Dianne. No I know I can't fly. Every year at my brother's pool, I take a run and leap into the air. Every year I belly flop into the pool. Love those old cap guns. Mike
Don't kid us, Mike. You know that up there in the wild blue yonder, free and unencumbered, your immediate reaction would be to lean over the side of the gondola and hurl. Not because you were actually sick, but because you'd want to see the reaction of the people below. ;) Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Danny but I have never been much of a hurler. A gas passer for sure. I imagine if I dropped a good one there would either be an explosion if the gas was on or if not, the balloon with the extra gas would hit the stratosphere.
» left by sue thom from nj (111 days 18 hours ago.)
hi mike,
i wanted to fly when i was little, too, and still wish i could.
i thought maybe, from a few stories ago, there were other reasons you wouldn't go up in a hot air balloon, after lunch, and were just being kind to the other passengers.
Nope. I'm never kind. Like I said I don't hurl, but I would imagine if I did the other, people in the gondola might figure jumping out was safer than staying with me and the smell. Mike
I have flown in a hot air balloon. It's very peaceful. There is no wind, because you're going with the wind. You hear everything around you, including the voices of people on the ground, in their backyards, on the street, etc.
You hear the occasional roar and feel the heat of the balloons flame as it heats up the air in the balloon. The view is wonderful. You can brush the tops of very tall trees. There is a chase van on the ground trying to keep up with you. When you land, you have to get out fast so the balloon doesn't try to fly away again, and you need to get out of the way so the balloon itself doesn't deflate on you. It's a great time.
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