You took the first huge step and asked him or her out. Thumbs up - both thumbs up!
Now what?
You see, that hot man or woman you're going out with has done "dinner and a movie" with every other unoriginal person before you. He or she has heard the same tired opening lines so many times; same dry conversations with same boring dates; same... you get the point. Your new heartthrob is looking for, hoping for and expecting something new and different, not same old same old. This is your chance to shine- don't blow it.
I'll let you in on a little secret… You need a fantastic idea, a time full of excitement, little thrilling twists and turns, memories that stick and sparks that fly for you to leave an unforgettable mark in his or her mind -- and heart.
But how will you make it happen?
1. Have a Plan
This might seem like another obvious dating tip, however, it's surprising how few people take the time and effort to really think through a fun date and plan ahead for it. If you're too busy now to take the time to buy concert tickets in advance, or do research on an interesting day trip, you're too busy to be in a relationship and date. It's that simple. People naively think they'll make time for the right person, and they do – for a date or two – but a workaholic with no social life is that way for a reason. By all means work hard, but recognize that you've got to have balance in your life if you want a successful love life.
2. Be Honest With Who You Really Are
It's one thing to improve yourself and make the most of who you can be, it's another to create a false front just to try and impress a special someone into wanting to date you…sooner or later the real you is going to come out. Give your date the opportunity to fall in love with the real you, other than hoodwinking him or her into believing you are someone you are not. When the truth does come out, and it usually does, the person who's been lied to will be both be very disappointed and angry with you.
3. No Need To Spend Too Much
Nothing is worse than going to an expensive dinner on a first date with someone you have high hopes about only to find that you just don't hit it off after all – it's both expensive and a waste of time. Be more casual about the first dates – after all, if you get along so fabulously that you want to spend more time together you can go to more expensive places.
Just remember you can be modest, prudent, cut costs and reduce loss without being cheap, stingy and a penny-pincher!
4. Follow Your Gut
That little voice in the back of your head or that uncomfortable voice in your stomach should be listened to. If a red flag goes off, don't panic or get all worked up and start attacking accusing or hassling your date. File it away in your mind for something to chew on later on your own. And if the person does not at first come off as your "type" but he or she sort of tickles your insides and you feel like you are enjoying yourself, give the date a chance and see what happens. You just might be surprised to find that over time your "type" changed and you didn't even realize it.
5. Relax But Most of All Show Your Human Side
A date is not an interview for a job or position but an opportunity for a meeting of hearts. So it's not about what you know or how much you know, it's about experiencing emotions and sharing human warmth (strengths and faults). Everyone-no exceptions-responds to emotions and feelings and that human-to-human touch (quite well I must add), even when it's not apparent.
Laugh, be playful, show emotion (ranges of them), tell a deeply personal story (one is enough, this is not your favourite aunt's funeral), tease (if you know the difference between sleaze and tease) and just be a human being not a perfect one just a real, living, warm human being. You do remember how to -- right?
6. Don't Jump To Any Conclusions
There may be any number of reasons why someone reacts in a way you didn't expect. What people say when they're relaxed may not be what they'd say when they're anxious. Give them a chance - allow people to make mistakes! If you make a mistake - say something wrong, don't worry too much about and spoil the date - most people are more forgiving than you think .Stay cool if things are going well. Your mission to be fun and relaxed!!
7. If You Feel Physical Chemistry Be Clear About Your Signals
This is another dating tip that might seem totally obvious to many people, but it isn't to those "afraid of rejection" members of our society – of which there are many many members. Remember that even very attractive and alluring people aren't 100% certain of their effect on someone. If you go on a date with someone who completely lives up to your expectations (and more) let them know.
Now that being said, I don't mean you should be sticking your tongue down their throat at the beginning of the date (which has happened to me and was no fun), nor do you need to jump on them at the end of the date and try to get some. There are very subtle, but potent signs to let someone know you're not only enjoying yourself with them but you find them physically attractive. Hold strong eye contact and "triangle" them from time to time – that is look from one of their eyes to the other, to their mouth and back. This, by the way, is something humans naturally do when they're very attracted to someone. Brush or press your knee against theirs under the table for a second or two a couple of times during the date. Touch their arm or shoulder to emphasize a point while talking to them (but don't do it too often).
8. Don't Wear Out Your Welcome
This is the point where most of us actually bite the dust in the dating arena – we get so excited about meeting someone we're really attracted to that we wear out our welcome. This is exactly what you should avoid. Fascination and interest can quickly turn to disinterest if you wear out your welcome. It's always an important dating tip to give someone less of yourself in the very beginning of a dating relationship than you'd like to.
Just one more thing, all the great dating tips in the world will do you absolutely no good at all if you still have mental, emotional and sexual hang-ups that screw things up once you do meet the right person. Clean out your emotional closet and give yourself a fighting chance.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author offering men and women practical tools and advice on how to make themselves attractive by using natural instinct, common sense and self-knowledge!
Christines websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com
http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
http://www.playinghardtogettheloveway.com
