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If you are under the age of 30, chances are high that you have and are actively maintaining a myspace or facebook account. In times past, our social circles have been mostly limited by geography. We typically met people who were our colleagues or businesses partners, our neighbors, or through our churches, educational institutions, or local clubs. We met people in bars or nightclubs, or we met through a friend of a friend, etc.. Or perhaps we didn't meet very many people at all due to shyness, introversion, poor social skills, or even possibly due to low self esteems. Perhaps our jobs placed us very far away from our families, or perhaps we've been isolated due to disability. But now, we don't even need to leave the comfort of our humble abodes and still have a very active social life thanks to the expansion of the internet and globalisation. But are the people we meet online really our friends? Can we experience intimacy online? Or could it be that it is because of sites such as myspace and facebook, that we are finally able to find our true niche, discover our true selves, and in turn, find deeper and more meaningful relationships?
I've often wondered about this, as I do have a myspace, and I have found that I actually prefer my myspace friends ( most of whom, come from all over the world ) to the people in my own geographical area. But what I can not decide upon, is whether or not this is a good or a bad thing?Sure, I wish that we could all meet and physically interact, and this is a huge negative! But, in many respects, it has helped me discover who I am. I have found my niche, and I don't think that this would have been possible if it were not for myspace. I have found people who are much more like 'me'. And if you are at all confined by living in the wrong city, or by living in the wrong country, or are stuck in a career that is not meant for your type of personality -- then this global village can become quite a breath of fresh air for you. This freedom to express ourselves on a website can be as uniquely 'you' as a thumb print. And it can, for some, become a window into our souls.
Ironically, to your immediate family or friends, one look into your myspace can be something of a shocker! But isn't it the truth of who we really are? Sure, some people can say anything, and become literally anything or anyone by simply lying about everything. These sites allow us to be the person who we want to be, and that person is very often, very different from the person we allow to be revealed in real life. But isn't the person who we want to be, indeed, who we truly are deep down? Can these sites be actually therapeutic for the repressed?
Social networking sites have become so widespread and popular, that one has to wonder about its sociological significance. Should we put a name on this new generation? Why do we love it so much? Is it really just pure exhibitionist, or something deeper? And if it is something deeper, what does that say about society before its invention? Were we all repressed? Has myspace changed your identity, or merely exposed it?
I believe that it has given us a sort of psychological freedom. We are tired of living the normal life. We want to reach out to one another. We want to learn from each other, and my bet is on that how you express yourself on these sites: what friends you choose, what music you play, what layout you design, what blogs you write, and to whose blogs you respond to; says more about 'you' than any personality test on the market. Your myspace is you! Shock or no shock! And I do not think that this should be underestimated. In fact, I think it is fantastic and liberating.
Apparently, I too, have been repressed. And I think that I have been repressed for a very, very long time. So, here are my two cheers for myspace! I couldn't be 'me' without it. And don't we need to love ourselves; that is, our 'true selves', before we can truly love another human being?
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Excellent article. You pose some interesting questions. The internet global community can certainly be a benefit. However, there are times when I think that it is used as a means to avoid face-to-face contact. But who is to say that we all need face-to-face interaction, expecially if it does not meet our needs? Nicely done.
I would prefer it, if I did have some face to face contact with many of my global friends, but because geography limits our meeting, I will take our online friendships as a necessary compromise.
I also see it as a new and depper way that we see eachother. Many times, people are judged by their appearence and immediately placed into certain categories. But with myspace, these prejudices disappear. Alot of people have no picture of themselves at all, but we know them by what they represent on their page, which offers a great deal of insight into their likes and dislikes; belief systems, values, etc..And this supercedes socioeconomic statuses. It is all personality based. We look at each others essence, and decide whether or not we many have something in common. And then of course, most significantly, we express our thoughts in blogs, and respond to others thoughts in their blogs, and very soon people congregate into particular 'scenes'. And the blogs we write are intensely personal. I think it is an incredible thing.
As for those we may use it as a substitute for face to face, I think those people would have avoided face to face contact, regardless, and be all the more lonely and isolated. As I'd mentioned above, people can become very quickly isolated, for a number of reasons. Myspace can help those who have more rare qualities, that makes it very difficult to make friends with the mainstream. But I find the exhange of ideas and information that cuts across the globe is absolutely tremendous. I'd rather see people finding others like them, than to feel that something must be wrong with them, because they are not 'fitting in' with those in their community.
I also believe that the bonds of friendship are very strong. There is something almost spiritual about connecting with eachother's true essences.
Sorry, I couldn't resist changing your last name. It's so . . . . . appropriate. My muse just doesn't allow me to NOT play. The kids love it but the adults get so . . . antsy. They really need to grow down. Anyway . . . .
I have a myspace, which is OK. I don't use it much. I set it up initially to promote my writing and such but am using other methods. I also belong to goodreads. A social network for bibliophiles (That's book molesters people, so relax). If you love books it's a great place to share what you love to read with forums, groups, and even book trivia (I'm #85 out of some 40,000 plus and moving up fast!!! ;=))
But I believe socializing is nice but Cyber-spacing for more important reasons, better. I also belong to a site called Care2. It's a petition site for things political, medical, emotional, and spiritual. A helping site. I like that.
So my point? Socializing is nice but there are greater things to do on the net. Of course, I understand that for teens and tweens (those in their twenties: half teen / half adult) socializing is a priority. Being cool. Looking cool. Having something cool to say and interact by. And all that. Many of my college / university students request me to link to them on various social sites. And that's nice but that type of Cybering is not for me. After all, being 93, I don't have much to say to the kiddies.
Another great article. With some good, in depth observations Cuddles. Keep up the good work!!!
Haha! No..I don't mind the cuddles. Acyually, people ( well, men anyway) usually call me "cuddly", which is much preferrable to "coody"! ha!
And no way are you 93! Hey, you are only as old as you feel, right?
As for goodreads, I belong to that too. But I most often chat up books in the guardian unlimited books blogs, or litkicks.
As far as the socialising on myspace, I was mostly referring to the more intellectual conversations that I have with my friends. We're all writers, and so we support eachother in this way. But it is a great way to publicise yourself as an artist, in any respect. And it's alot of fun too, but can become very addictive. Though it keeps us all reading, and it encourages us to write; whether that be as a written blog, or by responding intelligently to other's blogs.
Thanks for stopping by. I was wondering what you were up too!
No, I'm only half of 93. Just kidding on that account. I haven't been searchwarping lately. Still writing articles but working on a big product launch for my company. Promote. Promote. Promote. Market. Market. Market. There's a song in there somewhere. I'll have to find you and request you as a friend on goodreads. Talk to you again, soon.
Hi Jennifer! Great article...I have my space account too but rarely I get time. I am in orkut, because I can messege with my relatives and friends I know personally. I think only in 'searchwarp' I found 'my type community'...In this community I am very busy....writing, reading & coomenting....
But I think too much of this may reduce our ability to interact with people, because this is like a dream world and if you are addicted to it you will forget people around you. When I was young I was like that, but now God gave me strength to get rid off that.
Yes, I understand what you mean. In fact, I think that now I am much less likely to join any local clubs due to the fact that I meet more people online. But then again, I rarely, if ever, meet people in any local clubs who become good friends of mine. There is always something missing. Perhaps I'm living in the wrong city. And my job has indeed placed me very far away from my family. I had moved alot in my school years, which has dampened my ability to establish long time friends.
It is controversial whether or not these social networking sites ( including searchwarp ) has created a society that prefers a virtual reality to the real world. My question is: What does this say about us? I mean, can we not be honest with eachother face to face? Again, I wonder if physical appearances imposes an instant discrimination, and I wonder if we somehow have been trained to do this.
As we get older, it becomes increasingly difficult to establish relationships with people, and this is especially true if you are single. People feel isolated. But now, we have a platform to discuss these types of issues freely, and sometimes even anonymously. Ponder whether or not you more often have deep discussions such as these with people in the real life. I think we have been reared to stay away from heated discussions out of fear of seeming impolite, or too intense.
Another negative to the internet age is the amount of weight we gain by spending so much of our time online. But this type of communicating with each other globally is not going to go away. I've found that we all have much more in common than we might have imagined. And because of this, stereotyping is becoming less frequent.
We very often have the same concerns.
There are pro's and con's, but nevertheless, social networking sites are becoming increasingly popular, and from a sociologic perspective, we should investigate how this is going to change the way we interact with one another. Perhaps we should instill support groups in our local areas discussing why we seem to be unable to talk to one another.
Thank you for your comment. I think this controversy is something we should all question.
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