Sometimes when I go to a party or a get together, it is one of those events where a lot of people don't know each other. Sometimes those events can become a little quiet or boring.
At such times I like to ask a two-part question that usually brings a fun and sometimes rowdy discussion.
The question is, "If you were 1850s settlers and somehow were whisked into this day and age, what would be the most impossible invention for you to understand. And which one would you appreciate the most."
Of course the car and the airplane always pop right up but there are more subtle inventions taken for granted that I like to mention. They are things that we use everyday without a moment's thought to the mystery and incredibility that somehow, someone figured this one out and made our lives better.
Here are a few of my most favorite overlooked inventions.
The modern sewer system: Yes, that's high on my list and if you ask one of those settlers who had to sit in an outhouse in a freezing January or in the August heat if the sewer system was a great invention, you would get a resounding, "Hell yes".
Canned Spam: Now I know many people consider Spam a minor step up from Purina Dog Chow, although I love it, but you have to realize in those days, the only meat settlers had was what they could kill and eat before it went bad. Having a can of Spam in the old saddlebag would be marvelous to these bygone Americans.
Toilet paper: In a day and age where bad things, undercooked things or things that had spoiled were often eaten, I can just imagine how these early settlers would prize having a roll of tissue rather than an old corn cob or having to slide down a grassy slope in order to tidy up a bit.
Bottled and canned beer: Yep, any self respecting settler who had to wait till he got to a town to have a beer would think having a six-pack of Old Busthead Beer in his wagon was one of the greatest things in his life.
Cotton underwear: In those days most undergarments were made out of wool and I believe that single issue is why so many people in the Wild West were mean hombres. Just imagine what it was like wearing woolies on a hot summer's day. It would make us want to shoot someone too.
The recliner: In the 1850s most chairs were straight back wooden chairs with only those fancy stuffed ones in the big city hotels and parlors. Imagine how much they would enjoy sitting in a recliner, cranking back and catching a snooze watching that incredibly strange thing called a television set.
The microwave. Imagine how they would feel when they saw a frozen brat placed in the microwave and without a fire, come out piping hot just one minute later. They would demand to take one of those back with them but without electricity, all it would be is an end table.
The check book/credit or debit card: In a day of green backs or coinage, imagine how they would feel if they saw us buy food, clothing or anything else without cold cash. Imagine what they would think seeing us scratching our names on a piece of paper or sliding a piece of plastic through a scan and being allowed to walk away with what we want to buy without being shot by a wool wearing sheriff.
Swimsuit mesh: My son thinks the most important overlooked invention is the netting inside a swimsuit or swim trunks. It is this mesh that keeps things that shouldn't be seen from being seen, plus when you climb out of the pool, your swim trunks come with you. I imagine settlers would have a hard time not washing themselves in a swimming pool or letting their horses have a drink but they probably would appreciate the mesh in the swim attire too.
The internet: They would be incredibly confused by this invention because it would be almost impossible to understand how someone figured this whole thing out. Come to think of it. I don't know how this thing works either.
Freelance writer, columnist, author and writing coach, ex-Chicagoan Mike Fak presently resides in Central Illinois. More information about Mike's services are available at his home website www.mikefak.com
Mike currently writes primarily humor columns for searchwarp bi-weekly and is the managing editor of www.lincolndailynews.com
Can you imagine what these people could have done with the Clapper? On the down side, I'll never slide down a grassy slope, ever! (Not that I did before, of course...)
Hi Mike. First things that came to my mind were electric ranges and computers. But then I am female. Washing machines are right up there on my list also. I've used an outhouse in the dead of winter, and while there was toilet paper and not some hard frozen corn cob, it still wasn't pleasant and so I heartily agree with you on that one. Oh, and I do love my recliner at the end of a long day.
I'll have to remember your question for the next time there is a lack of topics for conversation (I don't go to many parties, fragrances give me migraine headaches).
Thanks Dianne. It actually is a fun way to get people laughing but you have to start it off with an off-the-wall invention so people get in the mood to think of those odd inventions.
The microphone and video camera - I wonder how long it took people way back then to catch up on national and world events? A month? Six months? Never? I don't know.
They didn't have cars back then, but they also didn't have to buy gas, car insurance or sit in traffic.
For the most part, it took a week on the East Coat and almost three weeks on the West to get the news. I will have to look up who invented the first traffic jam.
Thanks Sue. It is just a pic cropped out of a bigger one. Nothing professional as I have no need to fool myself about my looks anymore. I is what I is.
I love the new picture and that sounds like a conversation I would start with people. I think we all take way too much for granted. It would sure be interesting to see the reaction of someone from way back when to suddenly be exposed to the inventions that we think nothing of using every day. Awesome article as always.
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