A woman who obviously works as a restaurant waitress recently wrote a letter to the editor of my local newspaper. In it, she complained about the fact that she and other servers are often stiffed or given less than a 15-20% gratuity by their customers. She said they need at least that much to make a decent living and chided restaurant patrons, stating that if they couldn't shell it out, they really couldn't afford to eat out.
If that's the way it has to be, then we need to stop calling a server's tip a gratuity and start classifying correctly – as an obligation. A gratuity is defined by many dictionaries as a gift or something given without claim, obligation, or demand. It can also be defined as a reward given in appreciation for good service. Once upon a time, the later meaning was employed when restaurant-goers tipped their servers. But now, that meaning has apparently been completely lost, as servers expect some kind of tip, regardless of the quality of service. It is now viewed as part of their salary, as most of their employers pay them less than minimum wage.
Of course, there is one other way this issue could be resolved, but I don't like it. We could demand that restaurants increase their waiters' and waitresses' pay by 15-20%. This increase would then inevitably be built in to the price of meals. Then we could go back to using the term "gratuity" again to refer to the tip we leave for our servers. The problem is that, even with the boost in salary, it wouldn't be too long before servers would once again come to expect that money. Then we'll have come full circle and be back at square one again -- only with much more expensive meals.
Hi Terry. We don't eat out much for a whole host of reasons, but when we do, we always worry about the "tip." Is it enough? Will it make the server happy? Or unhappy? Frankly, I think I would be happier paying a more for my meal and only tipping if the service was extraordinary.
But you are right about people's changing expectations. I don't know that there is a solution. In some places in Europe, the tip is written right into the bill. How's that for presumption?
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