In the Spring of 1976, I was involved in the Chaplain's project to renovate an old barrack into a Christian coffee house, appropriately named The Way Inn, at George Air Force Base in California. I spent countless hours as a volunteer for this Christian ministry and shared priceless moments with friends of the same faith. The base has been closed for many years now, but the memory of one event at The Way Inn haunts me to this day.
One day a jet mechanic came into The Way Inn. He had been toasted nearly to a crisp while working in the sun of the hot desert flight line where temperatures in the summer often exceeded 120 degrees. The sweat was pouring from his face which had grease all over it. He was thirsty, so I gave him some lemonade and we talked. His name was Bob and he was from Texas.
In time Bob returned to The Way Inn again and again, always seeking me out and wanting to know more about my faith. One day, he came in, very sad and dejected looking. He was very quiet. I played the guitar and sang a Christian song to him that I had then recently written and he suddenly began sobbing. I asked him what was wrong.
"My Mom died." He told me.
I didn't know what to say. It seemed devastating. I was only 18 years old at the time and I had never even contemplated my mother or father dying. "Was she a Christian?" I asked.
"I don't know." he answered.
There was a long strange silence while we contemplated the things we had discussed. So, I returned to strumming the guitar. Finally, he asked me, "What happens to a person when they commit suicide?"
I gulped at the thought that his mother had somehow taken her life.
"Well, suicide is a sin. But, we all have our limitations. I suppose that if they are a Christian that they would go to heaven." I answered.
"And what is heaven like?" he asked.
"Well, it's like a perfect earth, and Jesus is there. There is no disease, or corruption, or sorrow, or tears. No pain or evil or death. Only joy! And our bodies will be like the bodies of angels, and we shall live forever." I replied.
"Do you really believe that?" he questioned me intently.
"Yes... I do." I answered. "Would you like the assurance of knowing that you're going to heaven when you die, Bob?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Have you ever accepted Jesus as your Savior?"
"No."
"Would you like to accept Jesus as your Savior, Bob?" I asked.
"Yes." He replied.
I prayed the sinner's prayer with Bob and he accepted Christ as his Savior. I was filled with joy for him. But, I never saw Bob again. Just minutes after our conversation he returned to his barrack where he hung himself. I felt terrible anguish that I had somehow encouraged Bob to end his life. I had assumed that his mother had committed suicide, when he was the one contemplating it. How could I have been so stupid?
Fellow Christians, if you find yourself in a position where you are comforting those in pain with the Word of God, be careful to listen. Don't assume that you know all the details of their situation. Ask the other person plenty of questions. Try to listen to their hearts and not just their words. If they are grieving and appear to be despondent ask them what their plans are. Ask them to participate in fellowship and don't be afraid to invite them to spend time with you and other Christians where they can receive encouragement.
If you have spoken with someone who subsequently committed suicide, remember you are not to blame. We can only do so much in reaching out to others. If the loss grieves your spirit then you need to let it go and give it to God. Seek out your Pastor or a Christian Counselor where you can find closure to the event in your life. Then, when you go back out into ministry ask God to give you the ability to hear the hearts of others and the wisdom to know what to say and do.
