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How many years do we search for who we truly are? Are we one of the lucky ones who knows, or one who wonders where they fit in. How many layers of pain does it take before we scrape away all the negativity and hurtful memories from our past, and can begin to know the depths of our soul. The soul is not the skin, not the surface, but in the point of your being that hurts when you do something wrong. If you trace where that hurt comes from, you will discover your soul. This is all totally my own opinion, just sharing my thoughts, I have no idea if they are true or not, but they are what I have found to be true to me. When my son was going to be operated on, and they wheeled him into the operating room, at 8 years old, I felt my soul, I was there. When my daughter had to have an MRI because the doctor wanted to rule out a brain tumor, and she went into that machine at 6, I felt my soul, it was there.
Life is so full of what we have to do to exist, and take care of ourselves, a partner, and maybe kids. So many worries and responsibilities. We take care of them, but somehow, in the madness, we lose touch with our soul, and we begin to get sloppy. Maybe we participate in gossip, maybe we drink and become violent and abusive, maybe we get a couple of prescriptions for drugs, just to "calm us down," maybe we flirt at the office. Whatever we are doing against what our soul believes in, will haunt us until we set it straight. It's never apparent at first, or we probably wouldn't do it to begin with, but an inventory of what's going on in your life is at hand. What would be something that wouldn't sit right in your soul? An enticement to someone when you're married?
You know it's wrong, and yet you act flirtatiously at work and enjoy the attention. But that feeling in the pit of your stomach never stops warning you that you're in dangerous territory. You must change the situation for the welfare of all, and to get back into balance with your soul. If you can think of this person as simply a co worker fine, yeah, like that will happen, so, switch departments. Do whatever you have to do to rectify the situation. Delve into your soul and figure out why this would happen when you are married to another human being and you were flirting behind his back. You are bored of the everyday routine, well, so is everybody, and second, change that. Think of things to do with yourself or family that are interesting and enjoyable to all.
If money is scarce, everyone usually has at least one Disney movie to watch. Tell your husband what's on your mind, what you want to change so you both have more fun in your lives. When you go to the depths of your soul, and extract what's really bothering you, you can then research your feelings. Why you are having them, how to get rid of them, and doing what is necessary to accomplish that. That doesn't mean that you will be happy with the results of the soul's "gut feelings", but if you go against what you really don't believe in wholeheartedly, it's going to end badly. We want to do what we want, is the bottom line. We don't want to listen to our soul, our conscience, or our mind telling us that we're doing bad. "The thrill of it all."
All that we do on the outside, affects how we feel on the inside. I again say, these are only my opinions, my thoughts, but they are what I have found to be true. When the "thrill of it all" comes apart, and the divorce happens, and financial issues are is dispute, maybe you will say to yourself, "I should have gone with my gut feeling." The soul, in my way of thinking, is a magical place. It contains everything about us, like having a video of us from birth until present. Everything we've ever thought or done. It also contains our morals and boundaries, and what should and shouldn't be crossed. I think the soul is the feeling part, and the conscience is the thinking part. Both with carbon copies of our morals and boundaries. We're warned a lot before we choose to make idiots out of ourselves or do things we'll regret and feel shame for having done.
We have to get through the past, and stay in the day, and learn to listen to our souls and our consciences, and even our own words bouncing around in our minds. Our souls have to be clearly set, I won't lie, I won't cheat, I won't steal, I won't raise my voice, I won't be selfish, I won't flirt, etc. Whatever the problems are that cause you pain in your life. Stop doing them, and then, when you look into your soul, close your eyes and picture a light at the center of your body, as if the pit of your stomach, you will see you for who you are. You can't be any more open than from your soul. And when your soul is free of any negativity, there is a peace that is fleeting, until the next situation, but you can handle this one better. You are stronger, more focused, and you have learned that negativity is a waste of time, and soul space.
We are not in our skin, or our veins or our organs, we are in our soul, conscience and mind. If we can keep these three things balanced, we can reach a level of peace and happiness. A feeling of calm and steadiness. Safety. And we definitely need to keep in touch with ourselves, in our soul, uncluttered and with a white, not black light. Sometimes, we lose ourselves in the hustle and bustle of reality and life. We don't hear the warnings from the soul and conscience. We need to learn how to catch ourselves, and bring ourselves back into the present time. We are responsible for our lives, and we must keep tabs on ourselves. In the depths of your soul, there you are.
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