We have all met the boaster, the person in the room who can't wait to tell us all how fantastic they are, how they are good at this and even better at that. They claim all manner of wild and outrageous things. Perhaps they can sing like Celine Dion, or dance like
Michael Jackson. They may claim to be enlightened, wise, highly intellectual and they might tell you that they are so popular that you should be honored they chose you to spend their day with!
The enlightened one gets me every time. I may be wrong but do highly enlightened people brag? I wouldn't have thought so, not unless the Dali Lama is now doing pod casts and telling us how fabulous he is. ;)
We are all guilty of a little boasting, bigging ourselves up when we feel intimidated or overshadowed but I am talking about extraordinary boasters who have no limits.
The question thus arises why do people boast, why do they behave this way and do they really believe their own hype?
A quick viewing of shows such as American Idol will demonstrate in no uncertain terms that yes some of these people really do believe they can do all the things they can claim to do yet cannot!
They are somewhat delusional. I have met many men and women who claim to be able to have any man/woman they want but have never met one who actually could. That human simply does not exist. What prompts these grand delusions is a mystery to me, maybe it's a brain thing either way these people are impossible to convince (as we've seen on American Idol) that they cannot do what they claim and it's pointless trying.
Meanwhile the interesting thing is, the genuine high achievers, the ones who have succeeded, they are a tad more humble.
They may recognize their achievements and proudly display awards and so on, but they do not feel the need to boast, brag or highlight to others how much better they are than everyone else. Which in their case may actually be true!
Perhaps this is because their success is visible whether it be in standard of living or accolades and awards. Perhaps they just do not feel inclined to keep promoting themselves as their reward is their success and not everyone knowing about it. Maybe they are sensitive to the needs of others and also possess good social skills which teach that braggers are never appreciated.
But what of the normal folk who take boasting to new and dizzy heights?
I am talking about someone who might be your neighbor, your colleague, or friend. You might be really blessed and have a boaster in the family! When I was in my teens if ever I entered a debate with my family about something relating to health, I would reinforce my argument with 'I have an O'level in Biology.' This became a standing joke and as a result I never even had to say it because they said it for me. 'Leah knows, she has an O'level in Biology' followed by rolling of the eyes. I was a giant pain in the ass that's for sure and it's not even that big a deal but I guess it was all I had in my armory at the time.
I was defending myself with my boast rather than boasting for boasting sake. Perhaps those other boasters do it for the same reason. If they feel under fire, their means of defence is to tell you how great they are and belittle you in the process. It's not the most effective form of debate.
It is common to make light of people who boast and share a joke with them about how great they think they are. It's better after all to have a healthy self esteem is it not?
Therein the problem lies, not all people who boast do have a healthy self esteem. People who boast due to low self esteem might take offence where there is none, read into things and are highly sensitive to any hint of criticism. Worst of all though is that they do not hear the compliments and praise that is directed at them. They only hear the negative. I think many people have suffered from low self esteem at some point. It can be a vicious cycle of feeling bad, behaving badly which makes you feel even worse so your self esteem becomes lower still.
Thus if you are in the company of someone who feels the need to reinforce themselves and blows their achievements and talents out of proportion with humanity let alone reality, then take a moment to wonder how they are really feeling and if they appear to be feeling just fine, maybe you are lucky to be in the company of one of the great delussionists of our century! If on the other hand they are feeling pretty low and trodden on then give them a break.
