Nebraska Department Of Motor Vehicles (DMV), was addressed on an envelope I was tempted to throw into the recycling bin with all the other accumulated junk mail. My reasoning was, I didn't own a vehicle, and I haven't had a driver's license since 1996, so what would the DMV want with me?
As I was rolling in my wheelchair towards the big green plastic recycling container, proud to at least be recycling everything possible, I figured I would open this letter with a quick glance inside. Better safe than sorry.
I opened one end of the envelope and proceeded to pull out a single sheet letter with my teeth clinching it to guarantee an effort of success. The letter was dated August 12, 2008 for a citation dated June 6, 2008, and a missed court date of July 10th, 2008.
"This can't be right!" I thought out loud.
My name was spelled correctly, the date-of-birth was mine, and the Nebraska Operators License number was identical to my Nebraska State Identification number. The address under my addressed name wasn't current, but it still was a previous address less than a year ago.
What happened here! It's not like in June I had gotten trashed and decided I could physically drive once again with only the small amount of modifications exclusively set up for my girlfriend Jessie in her van. If that were the case, I'd be the only person ever to be able to go from a permanent state of paralysis in body muscle groups to regaining needed function to drive a vehicle under the influence of alcohol. If this were the case, it wouldn't be a big deal if the only thing that had gone wrong was to be pulled over for a small traffic violation.
After calling the DMV and finding out what the original citation was for, I pondered in my mind thinking about who I knew might do something like this. [Unfortunately, this was not the first time someone has used my good name. If I ever go to Mexico, I might find myself being arrested by drug enforcement officers!]. Sad but true. My brother [Bleep] has been having encounters with the law lately (his name has been ' bleeped ', because I am the nicer brother). Come to think of it, the word is he recently was arrested (within first two weeks of August). Oh yes, it was my brother [Bleep]!
Him and his [bleeping] wife have been majorly [bleeping] the families name lately! [WOW!; I like Bleeps! You, as a reader, can feel my frustration, yet it is still rated "G" enough to be posted in my network links.] I will not go into their personal details here, but I will proceed to tell you about what I believe needed to be done as a punishment for falsely using my identity.
I took my DMV letter, and went down to the Lincoln Please Department. You know what?...I cannot remember a decent encounter I've ever had with a police officer. [Example: past newsletter article entitled ' Wronged by Society. '] I am innocent, but I was beginning to feel like I was the desperate guilty one ready to scapegoat (blame someone else). Oh [Bleep], it was already late in the afternoon, and my eyes were severely bloodshot [this is not a drug dependency reference; I have allergies affecting my eyes]! I may be seen by an officer as someone trying to avoid responsibility by trying to get charges dropped using his disability as a sensitizing factor, and high enough to have the confidence to pull it off. Knowing my eyes were red contributed to them watering, and making it hard to maintain eye contact. At one point, I was asked if I was still a transient. This doesn't help my situation, because now I am a whereabout-wheelchair-wino! No, actually everything went smoothly. It was time-consuming, I showed my identity (state ID), gave a statement, left a fingerprint, talked briefly with the officer, and was given a case number. I was given a copy of my statement, and the citation which listed the following offenses:
No seatbelt, no operators license, and no valid registration. These are fairly minor offenses unless you have a warrant out for your arrest (whoops, sorry my brother [Bleep] if you believe I am giving too much accurate information away]. Now that I cleared my identity, you might have to serve a little more time.
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