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This year the money has been kinda tight in many families, including
ours. As our son turns a teenager (13) and our daughter, turns 15,
we've been scratching our heads about exactly what to do for these two
teenagers' birthday. It doesn't make it any easier that both teenagers'
natal day falls on the same day. Attribute that to perfect family
planning techniques on our part. Or chuck it up to chance, and you'll
be closer to what really happened.
At any rate, I have been thinking of low-cost or non-cost gifts that
each of these teenagers can proudly call "cool". Clearly, no easy
challenge. But whereas we may actually spend some money giving our
children a birthday celebration worth the name, it is my hope that one
day they will discover those special gifts in life that cost no money
but mean so much more. There are at least 7 such no-money gifts I can
think of and ramble about in no particular order.
1. Gracious words: These can be words of thanks, like
"Thank you." They can be words of encouragement: "You can make it.
Don't give up." What about words of praise or compliment: "You did
great! You look sharp. That's a brilliant observation." Words of
affirmation: "You are important to our family. You make a difference in
our school, company or church." How about words of comfort? "I don't
know what it's like to experience what you're going through, but I'm
standing with you; I will support you through this. I'm praying with
you." Words of appreciation: "We could not have achieved this without
you." What about humor, like a good joke? Or words of greeting: Please
say "Good morning" every day when you wake up; yes, "Good morning",
even to each person who lives in the same house with you.
2. You can give your ears at no cost to you. How? You listen. Simply
listen. You come across as caring, concerned, and wise when you listen
to another human being with that feel of empathy, which says, "I
understand, I care, I know, I want to know".
3. How about giving your eyes? This is the gift of attention or eye
contact, and it does not cost money. Do you know that 'love is in the
eye'? A good look can seal the deal between two people as one falls in
love, and the other confirms the feeling is mutual. Your eyes, if you
are blessed with the gift of sight, are a wonderful gift; use them to
give someone special that special look that engenders love, confidence,
compassion, and the like.
4. Forgiveness: More than a gift to another person who has hurt or
offended you, the free gift of forgiveness can heal you and free you just
as much as it releases your offender. "I forgive you" is one of the
most powerful sentences one person can utter for another to hear. It
says you are ready to move on, and so can the other person. Forgiveness
sets two prisoners free, though they may still head in different
directions from the cell of grudge, bitterness and resentment.
5. Presence: This is one of the most undervalued gifts in our world.
Your presence, just being there can make a whole lot of difference.
Presence makes a difference in the lives of millions of children. Do
you know that a son may drop out of school, use drugs and alcohol,
engage in pre-age sex, commit crime, and end up in jail, simply because
his dad was 'not there'? Never underestimate the power of 'being
there'. The gift of presence is also essential for organizations like a
sports team, a church, or a company. What good is a team, a church, or
a company if no one shows up, if the players, members, or employees do
not attend, if they are never 'there'? Attendance is just another name
for the gift of presence. For those who are religious, one of the
beliefs that keeps many of them going is a simple promise from the
Almighty: "I will be with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you.
I am with you, even to the end of the world." Presence. What a gift!
6. Smile or Laughter: Few things communicate "I'm on your team" like a
genuine smile, or a good laugh. For years now, I have made it a point
each day to have one good 'laugh of the day'. If the day wears on, and
I haven't yet gotten my laugh of the day, I will surf the Internet
until I locate a good laugher. But on most days, I get my dose of
laughter with a family member, a friend, or even over the phone. By the
way, laughter relieves stress and conditions your mind like you know
what. By the way, we are speaking of a "laugh with" someone, not a
"laugh at" anyone. The wise old king got it right, and the modern physician agrees, "A merry heart does good like medicine". Laughter is medicine. Laughter heals.
7. The Gift of Touch: The Mother Teresas of this world have understood
the great gift of that human touch, the tender kind. That gift can
shape the personality of a baby for the rest of that child's life. A
child that is often touched will develop differently from one who never
gets a hug or kiss. A gentle touch from a nurse or doctor can cheer up
or even speed up the healing process for a patient, or make the
difference between a peaceful death and a traumatic exit from this
life. Jesus the Rabbi distinguished himself from other religious
leaders and endeared himself to the common people by being a toucher
rather than just a detached teacher. He touched the epileptic, those
with leprosy, the prostitute, the hated, and he touched his disciples.
The touch of Jesus changed lives and brought tears to the eyes of the
most macho of men, including Simon Peter, that strong fisherman of
Galilee. Jesus still touches lives today, through those who care enough to reach out and love another, people like you and me. Never regard a handshake, a hug, an embrace, a kiss on the
cheek or lips as anything less than a precious gift. Touch someone today. It's a gift.
There is little chance that our son or daughter will be impressed with
any of these cost-less gifts for their birthday. The good news is that,
as their parents, we know that it is these gifts they will remember the
most once they leave the nest to try out their wings across this vast wilderness we call earth. Meanwhile, thankfully, we can dump these
precious presents on them just about any day of the week, whether it's
their birthday or not. And you know what? Every now and then, it looks like they cherish these "uncool" presents too.
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