My daughter and I were in the midst of a challenging situation the other day as she was getting ready for school. We were about to enter into a big argument when I suddenly stopped myself (generally the most challenging part!), and thought... wait a minute, what iis it I'm actually wanting right now?
The answer was I wanted a peaceful morning with her, because I hate arguing before she goes off to school. And I wanted her to understand what I was saying. That's it. Nothing complicated. Just simple understanding. As soon as I dropped my defenses and stopped reacting to her reactions (how much sense does that make anyhow?), and remembered what I really wanted (the first step to the Law of Attraction!), everything changed.
My voice softened, I explained to her what I wanted was for her to understand, she got "it", the energy completely shifted from tension to peace, and off she went to school... happy as a lark.
It's so easy sometimes to get caught up in what's going on in front of us and forget that our emotions are our essential guide to what we're creating.
Once we remember to stop and check in... does this feel good? Is this what I want or am I focused on what I don't want?
Then we can make the shift to focusing on what we do want and that changes our emotions so we can start creating what we do want.
The more conscious we can become of how we're feeling at any point in time, the easier it is to change it for the better, or at the very least, simply accept it so you can feel some emotional relief instead of resistance.
I had a client tell me today that sometimes he just wanted to wallow in feeling bad, but that as soon as he did, he started feeling guilty about it, because he didn't think he should feel that way. Guess what? That's resistance.
I asked him what he thought would happen if he just gave himself permission to feel bad and let that be okay, since it's next to impossible to change anything when we're feeling resistance.
He said, "I would probably stop feeling bad because I wouldn't be fighting it". Ahhhh, the sound of emotional relief.
Acceptance lets you move right out of what you were feeling bad about as soon as you give yourself permission to feel it. It's kind of a strange thing, but the more we resist our feelings and make ourselves wrong for feeling that way, the more our emotional self fights to hang on to them... like a two year old having a tantrum! Ouch.
So, the next time you're about to "slap on a happy face" over a so-called negative feeling, instead try giving yourself permission to just feel what you're feeling and let it be okay.
You'll see how quickly the negative emotion passes by and makes room for the good stuff that follows, because it's then easier to shift your focus to asking yourself... "And what do I really want?"
Know without a doubt, that everything you want is within your reach... you just have to ask, receive and allow it all to come... even if it's just wanting to feel better. :-)
Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF, is a Love & Attraction Coach, Author, and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™.She is a leading authority on love and relationships and specializes in helping single women attract the love of their lives.Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship.You will identify and release any limiting beliefs about yourself and your relationships, as well as patterns from the past that have been holding you back from finding the love you desire.You will become magnetic to the love of your life.
To learn more about Dawn, visit her website at www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com and receive her "4 Secrets to Finding Your Soul Mate" E-Book when you subscribe to her Secrets to Love Ezine. For more information or to schedule a session, contact her office at 541.608.0508 or email Dawn@InspiredHeartCoaching.com.
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Thanks, Dawn, for your article. I really like the "What do I really want?" question. I'll remember that when dealing with our children, so we keep the instances of arguments to the barest minimum.
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