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"Serenity to accept the things I cannot change." That's a hard one, I think, since we all want what we want. Don't we all think we can change life to fit our needs? We may want a new sports car, and have to accept that we just can't afford it. But first, we might try getting a loan we can't qualify for, or a second job that still doesn't cut it. Determination is admirable, but reality has to be faced sooner or later. Acceptance of things we can not change could be the beginning of a journey of discovery and enlightenment. Our patience level is boosted, and our frustration at life is minimized. We may start putting our sights on more realistic goals. Those that may be achieved, and realized.
Things happen in life that catch us off guard. The dryer stops working, the stove breaks down, the roof starts leaking, the boss is a jerk, the wife is leaving. We hit a deer and smash up our car, a tree falls on the garage. What are we going to do? Immediately start swearing and losing our composure and hyper ventilating? Or can we simply accept what is happening, and deal with it? Have we learned how to do that? It takes time, and getting to know ourselves, and where our strengths lie, but thoughts can help calm us when our temperature is rising. "How important is it?" is a big help. It lets us realize that we are getting upset over something that is not important in the realm of things.
What about "courage to change the things we can?" We can change the way we think, act, react, and communicate. There are a lot of good books that can help us explore ourselves, and help us get rid of a lot of the baggage of our past, therefore, a lot of pent up anger. With the negative load of grievances and grudges and shame and blame out of the way, it's easier to stay calm when the tire goes flat, in the rain, on a highway. I wouldn't go so far as to say we'd be happy, but we can learn to deal in a better way. Stress is so harmful, both physically and mentally. Although it may be a little unsettling to some of us to have to face our frailties, courage to do the right thing, and change certain characteristics we have, will help us through the process.
If there is something we can change for the better, then we should do so. Maybe we could volunteer some of our time, or if we have the money, donate to a worthy cause. If there is a busy intersection that has no light, and there are many accidents, start a campaign to have the town put in a light. These are things you can change. If you're bored with your bedroom, change it around. Paint it, make it look so nice when you walk in that it makes you smile. It will add positivity to your soul. You might be bored with your ride to work. Change the route you take. I'm used to taking the highway, but there is a road I can take instead that has beautiful natural streams coming out of rock, and the road winds through the mountains. A little change in routine, but well worth it.
And "the wisdom to know the difference?" I haven't gotten totally there yet, but I am learning. It's hard to believe in people, if you don't know that you can trust them. This is said with wisdom I learned from being on the receiving line of deceit. I'm trying to get more of a feel for people, and a sense if they're honest or not, and it's not that easy. I want to believe everyone is good and well intended, but that isn't so all the time. My wisdom to know what battles to pick is getting there. "How important is it?" helps in this area as well. Do I want to argue over spilt milk (literally)? I could be enjoying my day, and take 4 minutes to clean up a mess. Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Wisdom is so powerful. The pain we must go through to learn that wisdom should teach us something. Watch what comes out of our mouths, mean what we say, be respectful, friendly, honest, dependable, and retain the wisdom gained by pain. It's a lot to keep track of in our heads, at least, in mine. Sometimes we give an automatic response out of anger, and we don't mean it, but the pain has been sent sailing, and it's hard to retrieve, and some have memories like elephants! They periodically will remind us of our drawbacks, and our past remarks. Wisdom unleashed is a very helpful tool. With serenity, and courage, and wisdom, we got it made!
Yeah Susan, many people rely on the serenity prayer to get them through difficult times, it can be very helpful. Good luck to you in your upcoming court date.
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