On every shelf of every grocery store in the baby food section you will find small bottles or now small containers that come in a variety of colors.
That is how I buy baby food. I get some of the green. I get some yellowish ones, and just for a little variety I get a couple of the purple ones. Purple is a pretty color. It must be sweet. After all it is the same color as Barney so it must be harmless.
I would soon learn how very wrong I could be. I should have known better. After all they tell adults to drink some prune juice to loosen you up a bit. Obviously I had yet to try this remedy and had no idea how very, very effective prunes could be at relieving constipation.
Less than one half hour after feeding my baby the pretty purple stuff from Gerber the first shot took place. Not even the most expensive diaper could have prevented leakage. The cleanup necessary was extensive. A mere fifteen minutes after the initial eruption the first aftershock was seen, felt, heard, and smelled. Within another half hour we experienced round three.
Good Lord, surely they have a warning label on the package. I ran to the trash can and fished out the cardboard package. Desperately I looked for some sign, some indication that consuming this product would cause the complete emptying of your child's bowels. Is this a good thing? I could only hope that perhaps good and pleasant are not necessarily the same thing.
It was easy to predict when my child's diaper was to undergo another assault. Her eyes would open wide as if she was scared about what was about to happen. We both were scared.
Each subsequent eruption made me think that there should be some type of scale so that we could predict the damage caused such as the Richter Scale for earthquakes. I had even thought of naming each event like we do hurricanes and tropical storms. Only they would not be pretty girl names but rather rough sounding German names such as Gunter or Alger.
Feeding my cute little baby girl Prunes was like loading buckshot in a shotgun. Be careful when it went off because it would spray everything in its path. It may not be deadly but the results were enough to make most grown men squeamish.
There were a couple of tidbits I did find on the packaging. It seems Gerber would like us to know that the contents are "Best if used in one feeding." Funny, very funny people those Gerber folks. The instructions should have said, "Beware! Use at your own risk. Not responsible for damage caused to clothes, carpets, or even drapes."
Finally I found this on the package, "The unique Gerber NATURELOCK(tm) COOKING PROCESS captures more of the goodness nature intended." I do not think for a minute that Mother Nature intended this level of goodness.
Dan Bimrose is the creator of coffeeandprozac.com a website devoted to making people think, laugh or cry. Daily Opinions, Editorials, and Stories He suggests dropping bread crumbs so that you can find your way back on a daily basis. Dan has also just unveiled his latest website tuesdaysreleases.com which provides a convenient place for people to discover the latest DVD movies which have been released at their local video store.
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