Consider the case of John, who continually receives an important report late from Bob. John asks for Bob to correct this lateness to no avail. John then asks Bob to meet to solve this problem. What if Bob says to John, "I don't have time for any such meeting. I told you I would get that report in on time. So get off my back!" John might lose sight of what he really wants. He might shift to the goal of letting off steam to express his anger at Bob. He might fire a zinger at Bob, "You're not a team player. You are just out for yourself!" Later, John might regret what he said. Lack of impulse control has been cited as the number one problem leaders are coached to improve. So what would I coach John to do here? I might start with some facts about impulse control. We humans have a biological problem. For most of our species' existence, life was relatively simple. One of our most important challenges was to react very quickly to any threats of physical danger, in order to stay alive. We were and are equipped with a part of the brain called the amygdala that reacts very quickly to danger. In the past, if someone saw a tiger, the amygdala sprang into action, sending blood to the legs to run and to the arms to fight. The blood is taken from the brain. You see, the brain has done its job. It recognized danger. Now the limited supply of blood must be channeled to legs and arms. This is what gets us into trouble today-lack of blood in the brain at a crucial moment in a conversation. When someone says or does a dumb thing, we may say, "He lost his head." Right, the brain is not functioning well in many stressful situations because it lacks blood. The fight-or-flight syndrome helped people when the crucial choice was simple. All someone had to do was spot something and determine if they should fight it or flee from it. Fast reactions saved their life. But today this same amygdala gets you into trouble in the office. It may save your life if you step off the curb in front of a truck. You see the truck and your amygdala will take over and cause you to jump back onto the curb. No thinking is involved. Only reacting. But in the office this fast reacting often spells trouble. It might spell trouble if John reacts without thinking to an unwelcome comment from Bob. Now what can we do about this reaction problem? This Tip is the first step, understanding the problem. For more information visit our Eagle Alliance website.
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Article added to SearchWarp.com on Thursday, September 18, 2008 View other articles written by William Murray(20)
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