I am reminded daily of how toxic “too much" can be.
Too much stuff in the car, too much stuff on our desks. Too many things on our to-do list and too many places to get to before they close. Too much worry, too many regrets. Too darn much.
Many times, in my coaching practice, people call me and tell me: “Laura, I want more money, I want more love, I want more time, I want more fun, I want so much more: what should I do?" And my first question to them is: “tell me: what do you want less of?"
And THAT is where we start.
I believe very strongly in creating a life that has a lot LESS of what we don’t want. Less stress, less “shoulds", less doubts, less, less, less. THEN and only then can we invite what we want more of. Actually, then and only the can we know what we truly want, can we begin to hear our own voice.
Parting with the stuff, thoughts, activities and yes, sometimes even the relationships that no longer fit us is a brave and loud way of saying “Me, me! Pick me! I’m ready."
It is big work and it is essential work.
So, today, I invite you to sit down with a nice cup of something warm to drink and to make a list of all the things you want less of. Do not let yourself be grabbed by “the story", the “whys", just write it all down. This is not something we are accustomed to doing - the list of what we want more of is so much more familiar - so it may feel strange and possibly uncomfortable. You may decide that there are sooo many other things you need to be doing, right now. I know how that feels; but stick with it.
And then, when you are done, pick one. Pick one thing from your list and let it go. First, let it go mentally. Imagine your life without it. Feel it. Then let it go all the way. Make that call, fill that garbage bag or download its toxic energy onto a nice big piece of paper. You will know what’s best.
Through these steps, you will have created a little dot of blank space on the canvas of your life. Do not rush to fill it up. Sit with the emptiness for a while and feel its strange lightness. The feeling will become more and more familiar to you and as you create more and more of it, you will start to invite new Life Energy into your life.
And you know what? Life Energy is a heck of a good thing of which to have LOTS.
Laura Lavigne is a life coach, writer, artist and a mom.She lives on an island, loves to dance on her trampoline and eats pizza with a fork and knife. She is the author of "Pink Hair & Chocolate Cookies - real life lessons from a real life coach"
Wonderful advice. It's something that I've only just recently started to see. I've been getting rid of physical clutter to make more space in my life. In thinking I wanted to move, I looked at what I didn't want and like about where we are now. But I hadn't thought about getting rid of what you don't want as making more space in your real life for what you do want...spiritual space. It's like the Buddhist concept of the ever full cup. Two problems with that cup: 1) if it is always full, it will be always spilling it's contents and 2) there is never any room for anything new.
Great article, Laura. Like most people I have always emphazised what I want more of. I have never thought much about what I wanted less of. I'm making that list now--I'm already realizing I have too much of what I don't need!
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