I realize I make a livelihood out of the computer age and the internet but that doesn't mean I will just roll over and accept some of the silliness that happens to me and all of you web browsers and users.
Now I'm not professing we go back to chipping stories onto the sides of cave walls but I sure would like just a few buttons added to the system.
Yep, all I want is a few measly little buttons or minor language changes and I won't say another word about the computers or the people who design and build these things.
The first new button I want is on any of those messages that tell us, a file is lost or we can't get there from here or the internet connection failed right in the middle of a download or etc.etc.
Of course we get a little message with an"OK" button. We have to click the "OK" button or we can't do anything ever again on our computer and so we do although nothing is okay at the moment.
All I'm asking for is a second button on those screens that says "Not OK". That's all I need. I just want to tell this infernal system that I am not pleased with its failure and in fact I am quite upset at the moment. Perhaps we could be allowed to change the words of that "Not OK" button to something more personal using our own vulgarity if we prefer that.
I also want a change in the message box after something freezes up. You wait and wait and nothing happens so you right click to "close" and the message says "the program is not responding".
Of course we know the program is not responding. We are the ones sitting here picking our noses waiting for something to happen that won't unless we do something.
The "program not responding" statement is like a coroner going into a funeral home to pronounce someone in a casket as officially dead.
All I want is the box to apologize with a "We are sorry that the program is not responding". That shouldn't be too hard for the Microsoft gang to change.
We have the option of "End Now" but that isn't the truth is it. End now by definition means now. Not in a half minute or a minute. I want the "End Now" button to be changed to an "End fairly soon, maybe" button.
I also want them to stop sending repetitive message for crap I'm not interested in. These "New yahoo, whoohoo, Googleoo or any other silly new program they are pushing is fine for those who want them but when I hit the no button, I want that to be it.
I don't need to have the message constantly popping up asking the same question over and over. What I want are the computer people to change the code so that when I say no they leave me alone. If this was the real world rather than the Cyber one, these people could be arrested for harassment or even stalking. Maybe there should be a "national do-not-call-list" on the web.
Finally after something goes amiss I want them to stop popping up the box that asks if we want to report the error. Yes, there is a "NO" button but let's be honest. After millions of people reporting problems, they still occur so don't tell me those error reports actually accomplish anything. In fact I picture them going into an electronic wastebasket somewhere in cyberspace. Or perhaps Microsoft has a few workers whose job is to just sit there with their fingers on the delete button all day as the error reports hit their e-mail.
These requests for changes aren't that hard, I'm sure. All I'm asking for is a little balance to the system. I have to admit when I make mistakes in life. That's all I want these computers to do. After all, they are machines. Aren't they?
Freelance writer, columnist, author and writing coach, ex-Chicagoan Mike Fak presently resides in Central Illinois. More information about Mike's services are available at his home website www.mikefak.com
Mike currently writes primarily humor columns for searchwarp bi-weekly and is the managing editor of www.lincolndailynews.com
I hate the error code so and so button that tells me absolutely nothing. Perhaps they could add a button there that ask if you want to know what error code 89738fgr90 means. lol very funny!
I have gone into the error codes and that's what they are, a bunch of code but they do that on purpose. If it was in the king's English it would say, "We built this thing but we really don't know how it works."
» left by sue thom from nj (62 days 14 hours ago.)
hi mike,
if only there was a retrieve button, now that would be helpful. you spend 3 hours on a story or an article or an e mail, and "there was an error" and as soon as you hit that, you had better have saved your material. (obviously from the venom you feel, i have forgotten to hit the save button on occassion!)
I'd like an option in between the Yes and No buttons that report something messed up and asks you if you want to continue. It would say " Admit it, you're clueless on what to do, so hit this one and you can blame me if it gets worse. It'll be our secret."
I'd also like a built in caffeine IV instead of that slot for an extra drive I'll never add.
Thanks Kay. I will put beer in my IV slot but I like the thought.
I also like the idea of when the hourglass justs hangs up there on the screen that you can move a little hammer with the mouse and smash that blasted thing.
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