Choose a meeting place near a tube station, or near the girl's home or office - if she's squeezed into her most sadistic heels for you, she won't thank you for a painful, bunion-inducing hike.
Don't forget - nice watch and nice shoes go a long way.
Her
Don't dress like an East End barmaid. Trying to overly impress him with cleavage as deep as the Grand Canyon means he'll spend the night talking to your 'friends'. Less is more. A touch of class and a hint of flesh is key to getting a second date.
Don't trowel on the make-up. Should you decide to go dancing later, you won't thank that fifth coat of mascara for making him think he's pulled Alice Cooper.
During the date
Him
Be early, hold open doors and pull back chairs.
Stand when the girl leaves or comes back to the table. Always give her the seat facing out, as she is your sole focus for the next four hours (it'll also help by stopping your eye wandering).
Always pay, choose the wine and do it all naturally and without fuss. Chivalry rocks. Women won't expect you to throw your jacket over the nearest puddle in the 21st Century, but be attentive and thoughtful. She'll notice it all.
Offer a compliment: women spend longer than men realise to look that hot, so notice something that's not too personal: 'you smell nice', 'you look nice'. 'Great butt!' is, of course, a no-no.
Don't boast. Woman can't stand a show-off. It's the wrong side of confidence. If you're great, they'll quickly work that out for themselves.
If it's a blind date, suggest a 'shot of courage' when you first meet.
Her
In return the girl should be gracious and accepting. Making a big fuss with something like "Ok, but the drinks at the next bar are on ME!" is vulgar. Just be cool. You can buy him a drink or dinner next time.
Laugh at his jokes.
Laugh at more of his jokes.
Although don't try too hard. Nervous laughter is awkward.
Both of you
Don't ever talk for more than thirty seconds at a time. Even if you're telling a story, pause and get feedback. Otherwise you may sound like you're lecturing.
Don't just talk about yourself. Ask questions. Hold the eye, and listen attentively. Never interrupt with something you did bigger and better.
Don't ask them what they think of you. It smacks of having a lack of confidence, which is a massive turn-off. Read the signals well instead.
Don't talk about your ex-partner(s) or ex-wife. Leave that stuff til the 'deal' is secured.
Don't yawn. Just don't.
At the end of the date
Him
Even if you don't fancy her, make sure you either see her home safely, or grab her a cab.
Her
Never mention seeing him again or assume there's a second date in the making: Don't say "Oh, i'd love to see that play, do you like plays?' Or 'what are you up to on the weekend?" Mystery attracts men like magpies to a shiny thing.
Dating should be ALL about the guy chasing. Anyone too available or enthusiastic is offputting. (This actually goes both ways, No one likes anyone who seems desperate, but the guy still has to be the one who suggests the second date.)
Don't have sex on the first date, even if you feel like it. If he invites you for a coffee, chances are he wants to show you more than his CD collection. Call it old-fashioned, but most men don't respect a lady who does the deed so quickly.
Both of you
Always hold something back. Not just your chastity: Don't tell all your dark secrets, don't laugh too much, don't get too drunk and confess all. In a word, be charming and interesting but keep your guard up. The other person shouldn't get to see every part of you yet. Let them work for it.
If he asks if you fancy him at the end of the evening - and you don't - let him down gently and don't forget to add a few character positives to boost a bruised ego.
In a nutshell?
Be desirable. Be funny. Be thoughtful. Be smart. Be at ease. Make eye contact. Smell good.
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Article added to SearchWarp.com on Wednesday, October 01, 2008 View other articles written by Brett Harding(42)
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