So often we mistakenly think that we will be happy when someone else behaves in a certain way... accomplishes a certain thing... does something for us... with us... to us.
Codependent Thinking
That is faulty thinking and will keep you stuck in the role of a victim. It is also not at all fair to the other person(s) to be held hostage to your emotional well-being.
Turn this concept around and ask yourself if you want to be held responsible for someone else’s happiness? Of course you don't! You want others to bring their own happiness into the relationship.
Here are 5 Fundamental Concepts to claiming and embracing your own happiness.
1. Take responsibility for yourself.
You are completely responsible for your personal happiness. It is not anyone else's job to take care of you.
You are supposed to bring an emotionally healthy and happy self to your relationships. You are entitled to the same from others.
If you are not happy, start by looking to the wise woman within for the answers to your situation. You know what you need to do. Get qualified support if necessary.
2. Let others off the hook for your happiness
The definition of codependent is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on another.
It is codependent thinking to burden anyone else with the responsibility of your emotional state.
There are many powerful resources to help you untangle yourself if you find that you are tangled up with someone else. Start at your local bookstore. Look for a book on codependency.
3. Decide that you intend to be happy.
Look for reasons to be grateful. Gratitude for your many blessings is the shortest path to happiness.
Regardless of your present circumstances, you have lots to be grateful for. Sit for a moment and make a list.
Make a list of how you want to feel about your life, the people in it, the circumstances of it and put your focus there.
4. Keep facing forward and do something progressive each day.
You don't have to climb the whole mountain today. Just make sure you are taking at least one step towards your goal of healthy personal happiness.
Just one step a day adds up to 30 or so a month, 365 or so a year... now that is progress indeed.
5. Make your happiness a priority.
Your happiness is more important than the housework, than the meetings... Talk about it, write about it, think about it.
Keep it on the front burner.
You and everyone around you will reap the rewards of your commitment to being happy. You will automatically have a more positive attitude about the world, your family, friends, work... Every one and everything benefits.
The Really Big Picture
Actually, the universe will benefit as well when you add your happy energy to the mix. Goodness knows there is more than enough worry, doubt, lack and fear... Your positive energy is good for everything.
When you are happy, you will be a better partner, mother, daughter, sister, friend, consumer, decision maker. It truly is the ultimate win-win situation. Namaste.
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Great article, Joyce. And so many true words. Being grateful for what blessings you have and quit wasting time wishing for more. You've said it all and very well at that.
i love this article. i have been living by these principles for 15 years now, since being in a recovery program, and learnng the skills you just mentioned. they seem so obvious, but not if you're not aware! i have learned to make my own self happy, if anyone wants to join, it is at my discretion whether they will add to my life, or take away from it, no co dependency. thanks for sharing and i hope you continue writing,
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