Young men, young men, to be so open with your sexuality is child's play. But oh to pay, for creating a child, is one responsibility, you refuse to acknowledge. What a pity!
In my travels Down America's Mean Streets, I've met many people. Some of them flickered in and out of my life like fireflies, while others left lasting impressions. Chief among the latter is Lee Overton, a lawyer, who is not only a fine gentleman but also a good friend. Since first meeting in 2005, we have visited each other in our respective states, he in Florida and I in Michigan.
This year it was Lee's turn to visit. During the four days he was here, he told me about a unique encounter with a young man in a nursery ward, which gives a sobering glimpse of teenage fathers. Here is the story as he related it to me, that I later wrote and edited to my specification.
The young man moved easily among the brigade of parents. Swaggering and laughing hysterically, he looked at the tiny infant in the incubator. Yeah, that's my baby," he proudly announced, pointing to the newborn sound asleep. "And I got two more with two other girls born less than 3 weeks apart."
Lee, standing nearby, overheard the remarks, and asked the father if his plans included taking care of his newly acquired brood. "What do you mean?" asked the boy with a baffled look on his face. "Do you plan on giving the mothers money, so your children can be taken care of properly?" inquired Lee.
"Man, I'm only 18 and the law says, because I am not 21 and not an adult, I'm not required to take care of anything.
So I can drop babies all over the place, without having to worry about the consequences," said the boy calmly.
"That's bull," said Lee. "Although you're only 18, according to the law, you are legally obligated to provide for those kids."
"Aw man you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
Like I said before, that's nonsense," said the boy returning to the window to take another look at his daughter.
"No young man," Lee said emphatically, "that's the law." A clever attorney who specializes in family law, he then quoted Statute 745.07 of the 2008 Florida Code. "It says because you're 18, you have the same obligations of a person 21 or older. And since you have 3 children, I would consider them an obligation, wouldn't you?"
At a loss for words, the boy quickly walked away. Minutes later Lee spotted him in the hospital cafeteria. He looked worried. Gone was the defiance he displayed only moments ago. Lee looked at the teen deep in thought and started to join him. However, after giving the idea more thought, he changed his mind.
Walking up to the counter in preparation of ordering roast beef on rye, Lee felt a hand on his shoulder. Turing around, he looked into the face of the young father. "Mr." he said softly. "You seem to know a lot about the law.
Could you tell me where it says that even though I'm only 18, I am legally required to take care of my kids?"
Seeing the worried look on the boy's face, Lee went to his car and pulled out a long document with the words 2008 Florida Statute 743.07 on it. Re-entering the hospital, the University of Michigan graduate gave the paper to the teen.
The heading read:
743.07 Rights, privileges, and obligations of persons 18 years of age or older.-- (1) The disability of nonage is hereby removed for all persons in this state who are 18 years of age or older, and they shall enjoy and suffer the rights, privileges, and obligations of all persons 21 years of age or older except as otherwise excluded by the State Constitution immediately preceding the effective date of this section and except as otherwise provided in the Beverage Law.
(2) This section shall not prohibit any court of competent jurisdiction from requiring support for a dependent person beyond the age of 18 years when such dependency is because of a mental or physical incapacity which began prior to such person reaching majority or if the person is dependent in fact, is between the ages of 18 and 19, and is still in high school, performing in good faith with a reasonable expectation of graduation before the age of 19.
(3) This section shall operate prospectively and not retrospectively, and shall not affect the rights and obligations existing prior to July 1, 1973.
After reviewing the document, the boy glanced around the room, then looked at Lee. "Does that mean I have to shell out money, so my kids can have food, clothes and any other thing the state of Florida feels they are entitled to?"
asked the teenager, hoping that the answer would be no.
"Yes, " replied Lee. "You see son, you can't go around making babies, and expect not to take care of them. Those kids are your responsibility. You made them, and it's only right that you take care of them. Why should someone else be forced to take care of someone that you are partly responsible for bringing into the world?"
"I feel like my arse is grass, and my kids are lawn mowers getting ready to cut me down," conceded the visibly nervous young man. And with those words he shook Lee's hand, got up from the table and walked towards the parking lot.
Two days later Lee ran into the boy again at the hospital nursery. This time, he was carrying a suitcase. "Are you going somewhere," asked Lee.
"Yeah, man I gotta get out of here. There's no way, I can make enough money to take care of 3 kids. And if I don't own up to my responsibility I could end up in jail, and that's the last place I want to be," he explained. "So I'm getting out of Dodge , quick, fast and in a hurry." Smiling incoherently, the boy waved goodbye and bolted out the door, with the soft cries of his infant daughter ringing in his ears.
After hearing Lee's story, two observations spring to mind, which must be addressed: A) The naivete of many people, especially teens 18 and over, who aren't aware this law exists; B) The braggadocio attitude of young men who make babies at the drop of a hat, and don't feel they are responsible for their actions. I have news for you Mr. baby daddy, you are. How's that for a dose of reality?
To check out the guidelines in your state, as they relate to teenage fathers, log onto your state's website and click on the Child Support Guideline link or anything similar.
You can also contact your local child support enforcement office.
Peggy, excellent writing that also educates, thank you! Who said what we don't know can't hurt us? A foolish person? Yeah, must have been! I teach sexual abstinence classes using a faith-based and a non-faith-based curriculum (depending on my audience) and would be honored to have your permission to print and share this article with my participants. This could be even more persuasive than my information.
I hope you are well and life is treating you very well! Take special care and Happy Harvest!
As usual your comments cause me to stand up and take notice. (Smile). Seriously, I concur with every word of your statement. And because you teach abstinence classes, I know it must be difficult, when you have a bunch of teenagers who think they know everything regarding sex, but in reality, don't know anything.
Take Care Ms. Ward, and don't forget to vote early!
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