It seems that baseball great Alex Rodriguez (or A-Rod as he is commonly known) knows a lot about others things besides baseball. Regardless of whether you follow the game, you have probably heard that back on July 7, 2008, A-Rod's Wife, Cynthia Rodriguez, filed for divorce in Miami , Florida .
This is the kind of divorce that had everything divorces usually need to turn into an ugly war: lots of money, including expensive homes in different states, lucrative contract rights; infidelity; a prenuptial agreement; high-priced lawyers; and last-but most important-children.
On September 18, 2008, the parties announced they had entered into a divorce settlement. As a family lawyer in Miami , Florida , I can tell you that, barring a sudden change of heart by either of them, A-Rod's divorce should be final about two weeks after the date the settlement was announced. If so, then from the date the divorce was filed until the date of the final hearing, A-Rod's divorce would have taken a grand-total of about three months from beginning to end.
So why are there people with a lot less money than A-Rod, and probably with no infidelity or even a prenuptial agreement or high-priced lawyers, languishing in divorce court for long periods of time, sometimes two or more years?
The answer lies in what they were interested in accomplishing first, and then working on the "how" to achieve what they were interested in. I'm not related to nor do I know what the Rodriguezes were thinking. But I can quote you their words as read by their attorneys in a joint press statement: "All of their decisions were based upon and guided by the best interests of their daughters."
That sentence says it all. Children and divorce: they are a great, and probably the strongest, reason to settle.
There is also the matter of legal fees. A-Rod may be rich, but I'm willing to bet that he would like to keep his money and not pay it out to attorneys and other experts. And Cynthia Rodriguez may feel the same way. The more they fight about financial issues, more they will spend on legal fees. Concentrating on finding ways to agree makes it less likely that they will become hurtful toward each other, and also less likely to make petty remarks that make it impossible for them to communicate about what they care most about and will always be linked by-their children.
Then there is the publicity. You may not be famous, but guess what? Most divorce records are usually public records, which means anyone can read your divorce file; it's just that it might not make the front page of a newspaper. There is no privacy in these matters.
A-Rod knows about baseball. But he also seems to know what's in his best interest and that of his children. And Cynthia Rodriguez knows best interests-which in her case includes an interest in being financially secure after the divorce-- and that of her children -. She could have easily fallen into the trap of playing the "betrayed wife" and let the hurt and anger that usually accompanies such a label guide her through a long litigation process. She didn't.
To be able to settle, your interests don't have to always match. Each of you need only accept what the other party is interested in achieving or concerned about and then find ways to get it done so each one's interest is addressed. You can settle using your attorneys or using a mediator. .
c) 2008 Vivian C. Rodriguez
Vivian C. Rodriguez is a national consultant on case strategy on litigation and alternative dispute resolutions for parties headed for divorce court to avoid expensive and emotionally frustrating divorces. In Florida she is a family trial attorney and certified family mediator. To see what you face in divorce court when you go to trial, get this free Divorce Court Report
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