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My mother was a warm, caring, compassionate woman with a wicked temper, born of frustration, if her four kids continually drove her nuts, which was at least twice a day, and probably more. She was relieved, I'm sure, when all her little babies now walked out the door and got on the bus! However, she then went back to work as a nurse, from eleven at night until seven a.m., as the head nurse in the emergency room. She would come home, get us ready for school as my father left for his job as a cook, and sleep until just before we came home.
I developed her strength and devotion and compassion. She never missed a night of work, even when she could have used a good night's sleep. I developed my perseverance from my mom, and it has helped me throughout my life. Her favorite saying was, "Just do it." Those three words have gotten me through many crisis I would have given up on otherwise.
I remember when my daughter was 2, and walked around on the deck, came in, laid on the couch, and to my shock and dismay, had over twenty to thirty splinters in each of the bottom of her feet. As I tried to focus on what was at hand, I knew I had to "Just do it", meaning I was going to have to get those splinters out somehow. I enticed her into a nice warm tub of bath water, and let her soak for as long as I could, then, out came the tweezers, and the tedious job of removing them one by one. I was getting panicky, thinking I could never accomplish this task, when my mother's words came through, "Just do it."
I did, and I got them all out, without a tear. (mine, not my daughter's!) I developed my parents' tenacity for getting things done, no matter how difficult, or impossible it may have seemed. Their coupled idea of raising their brood to be self sufficient, strong, and independent definitely has served me well. A scraped knee, or cut elbow didn't phase my mom, and she usually just dealt with it herself instead of making a trip to the emergency room she'd be working in later that night. Therefore, I have never been one to worry about cuts and scratches, and thankfully, my kids never had stitches. I have had a few good sized cuts that I have taken care of myself as well.
My father was never sick a day, and therefore, was at work no matter what. As a cook, he worked at all different kinds of restaurants as we were growing up, sometimes a short order cook, at other times, a fancy cuisine chef. Wherever it was, it was hard, fast paced, and he was dead tired when he got home. He was wise enough to know, forty years ago, that some type of outside activity was needed to balance out his life, so he bowled every night, and eventually, slowed down to two or three nights a week. We had trophies all over the house from tournaments he had won. I developed as I watched him daily go through his routine, to take time after my work was done, to enjoy myself and relax for awhile, and let go of the stresses of the day.
Both of my parents were honest when it came to the really important things. My dad would give back a quarter if it was more than his paycheck should be, and yet, he would tell my mom on the nights he didn't bowl, that he was going downtown for a pack of cigarettes. We ALL knew that wasn't the whole truth. There was a bar next door, and since driving the three minutes to the store, buying them, and driving three miles back, didn't constitute the two to three hours he'd been gone. Other than that, he always talked straight from the hip, and didn't mince words. As a little girl, I didn't think my parents were afraid of anything. Their bodies were strong, and their minds were even stronger. I admired them even as a child.
My mom still kept our small home clean, made dinner every night, helped with homework, and went to work as her family slept. There was no time, or no room for weakness. No whining or carrying on. Six people were living an honest and responsible life. There were, however, quite a few arguments. My dad was headstrong, stubborn, and argumentative, All things I also developed in my youth. Through different avenues, I have learned to be calm instead of simply headstrong, stubborn for the right reasons, and I try to stay away from arguing. Both my parents were also very loyal. They protected their cubs, their family, and kept the outside world at bay. Whether they were aware or not, they were preparing us well for the outside World.
I developed my personality by listening and watching and interacting with my parents, and it has served me well, even though they are now both gone. Their legacies, however, remain, in their four children, and fifteen grandchildren. My siblings and I are all strong, honest, humble, responsible additions to Society, and are passing on our knowledge to our kids. Yes, I developed the skills I watched my parents live by, and no matter how many fights went on, my parents have always been my Heroes. Their example sent us all into life fighting the good fight. I have no doubt that they are still steering us from above.
If the parent can influence and put a effect on their children for better then this world will be heaven like. But it is sad that parents always have a negetive influence on their children in today's world.
Wonderful article Sue. Keep writing interesting articles...May God bless you...
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