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Abusive Relationship - Double Dynamics When Sons and Daughters Are in Abusive Relationships

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Submitted Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Dr. Jeanne King Ph.D. (749)
Partners in Prevention
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It's no secret that we use our adulthood to work out our unfinished business with our parents. And when domestic violence is on our plate we may even see it as an opportunity to get even.

Young people in abusive relationships sometime remain in these relationships because their parents want them to get out of the relationship. And the more the parent pushes, the more desirable the abusive relationship appears.

It is virtually impossible for the domestic abuse survivor to sort out their own personal feelings with respect to their intimate relationship when they are dealing with the unfinished business in their relationship with mother and/or father.

If you suspect your child is in an abusive relationship and you are seeking to help her/him see the light, then you must do the following if you want your adult child to awaken to their circumstances:

1) Find a professional who is trained in psychotherapeutic process and also domestic abuse intervention.

2) Let the therapeutic process run its course unencumbered by conflicting and interfering agendas external to your adult child's intimate relationship.

3) Should you feel inclined to want to hold the reins of the therapy, seek independent therapy for yourself.

Evaluating an abusive relationship can be consuming for the person doing so, and will almost always be impossible in the context of confounding circumstances. On the flip side, trust that when one is sorting out life in an abusive relationship, they will more often than not choose what is in their highest interest.

All things being equal, when we feel safe and secure within ourselves, we choose to eliminate that which fails to support our honor. If your adult child is in an abusive relationship, don't throw the baby out with the bath and trust she/he can most definitely waken to his/her circumstances.

For insights on the dynamics of abusive relationships-what maintains them and what interrupts them, visit http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com and claim your free Survivor Success Tips & eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., founding director of Partners in Prevention, helps families worldwide to recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. © 2008 Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.




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