I am by no means changing my column into a cat anthology. It's just that this event occurred last Monday when I was writing my column about my spoiled cats and it deserves its own place in Fak family cat tales or is it tails.
I stopped writing the piece to go outside to the van. I wasn't paying attention but I sensed a shadow at my shoulder when I opened the door. I guessed that maybe a large bee or wasp had flown inside the house but looking around I saw nothing.
I went back upstairs to finish my column and then I saw my worst nightmare come flying up the steps and bang into a closed window trying to leave my premises.
It was a sparrow that had stupidly flown in the door and if you own cats or ever did, you understand what that means to your furnishings, vases, pictures on shelves and anything else that a bird and a cat might break on their great chase through a residence.
It only took a moment for Jackson to come flying into the study with older, fatter Smirky stumbling behind. At first they just sniffed the air knowing something that wasn't supposed to be in their territory was somewhere near.
When the sparrow fluttered up the window trying to get out, Jackson flew across the room and smashed hard into the pane as she attempted to corral the bird.
The bird took off and correctly decided to fly back downstairs with Jackson leaping down steps as Smirky bumped, bumped and bumped on down after the pair.
I heard a real ruckus as I went to save my work but in just a moment the house was eerily quiet.
I figured good old Jackson caught the thing just like she did the mouse in early spring. Of course Jackson didn't kill the mouse but rather kept letting it go. So I hurried on down to make sure Jackson didn't think she had a new toy to just keep catching and letting go and then chase through the house until nothing made of glass was in one piece.
At the base of the stairs, Jackson was trotting down the hall with the sparrow in her mouth. When she saw me, she slammed on the brakes. I didn't want to startle her, and have the bird go free so I praised her. "Good girl Jackson. You caught the birdie. Now come here and give it to me." You could see in Jackson's eyes she had no intention of giving up this new toy giving me that "Fat chance" look. Turning around, she flew out of the room with me slowly behind her and Smirky bumping along after me.
In the kitchen Jackson had three avenues of escape and as I guarded the doorway to the hallway, she ran through the dining room which opened up into the rest of the house.
By the time I got into the living room I couldn't find Jackson or the sparrow. Smirky sat in the middle of the room, nose in the air and I thought sure she would tip off the location. Instead, she decided she had enough exercise for the day and laid down on the rug to take a nap giving me the look that," I'm no stoolie".
Finding a cat who doesn't want to be found in a big house isn't easy. In can in fact be downright impossible so I went upstairs to finish my writing assuming eventually I would see Jackson come prancing by with the bird in mouth.
After about fifteen minutes of quiet I heard the sound of a bird and cat banging into a window and flew down the steps into the dining room. The bird, released by the cat had gotten behind the heavy drapes and Jackson was beside herself trying to shred them out of her way. Not having front claws meant this wasn't working but the drapes made pinning and grabbing the sparrow an easy task for me.
With sparrow in hand I went to the back door and threw it into the air. It was away quickly, none the worse for having spent a half-hour in a predator's mouth. Jackson of course saw all this and once again she gave me that, "You are a jerk" look.
Jackson didn't come by me the rest of the day, intent on sitting in the window sill looking out the screen at the Buckeye tree full of birds and squirrels. Every once in a while she would do a little chirp as if to mean she recognized the bird she had in her clutches. The bird that the idiot in the house she lives with, had let go back into the great outdoors when there were still hours of playtime left before she broke it.
Smirky on the other hand stayed downstairs on the rug. Her only delayed reaction was when I petted her. She sniffed the hand I held the bird in and then licked it before going back to sleep. I guess that was the extent of her big game experience.
Both forgave me by bedtime. It was a little chilly and they had to have someone to pull the blanket over them even if he's a jerk.
Freelance writer, columnist, author and writing coach, ex-Chicagoan Mike Fak presently resides in Central Illinois. More information about Mike's services are available at his home website www.mikefak.com
Mike currently writes primarily humor columns for searchwarp bi-weekly and is the managing editor of www.lincolndailynews.com
» left by sue thom from nj (55 days 13 hours ago.)
hi mike,
this was a funny article. i had to play referee between my cat and a mole the other day ont the front porch. i managed to scare the cat, to let go of the mole, and run, only the cat ran, too, but at least whatever happened wasn't going to happen near me. i love pet stories. they do provide a lot of entertainment. thanks for sharing,
Thank you Mike! Animal stories can be enteraining and funny. I don't have any cats, but my dog once brought me a already dead mouse looking like she wanted to get praised for her accomplishment. Silly dog!
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