Think about this Zen-like principle: if you walk over to someone and expect nothing, you'll accept everything from them.
If you expect nothing from people, then you will accept every gift that they give you – the gift of themselves, and the gift of sharing with you.
Life is just a series of continual conversations. Whenever you meet somebody you connect with and find interesting, you want to continue that conversation with them, right?
So what do you do? You ask them out as a conversation continuance: "oh my god, it was so great to talk to you about your dog and this trip you just got back from. Hey, I want give you a call and learn more – give me your number."
It's just a continual theme. That theme is connecting – and you can maintain that continual connection that you have together in that moment of time.
Many guys will go into salesman-mode when they see a woman that they are attracted to; they will just try to sell themselves. "Buy me, please!" They continue to talk AT them rather than with them.
But you all know what a real connection feels like. If you're talking to a woman and you're both with groups of people and her eyes can't stop looking at you – that's a connection. If she's directing all of her energy towards you, you know what that feels like.
So if you're just going out there to practice conversation and listening skills, just talk to people all day long – that's important to do. But if you're looking for a real connection, you want to weed through as quickly as possible.
These are the two steps: the first is to go out and talk to people and build your conversation skills, the second is to look for that connection.
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