We see it in movies all the time. Actresses running away from their small town life in order to make something better of their life.
The problem is when you get away, it is only then that you see the goodness that small towns holds.
Growing up in Podunk Arkansas, my life seemed like a movie. I dreamed of a better life and my mom was right there cheering me on. Repeating things such as "You deserve so much better." "Don't waste your talent or intelligence here!"
I did what every dreamer does. I left the doublewide I had learned to be ashamed of and headed to college to make something of myself. I married this amazing man who swept me off my feet and drove me to a new home in Texas. It was like a movie and I never once looked back.
I can honestly even say that on visits back home, I use to count down the minutes until I was back in Texas. But with age comes a longing or maybe it is just a sentimental grasp of the past. One thing is for sure-the small town past never goes far from the heart of a small town girl.
A friend from high school died last week in a car accident. I like to say I talked to him recently or knew his family, but truthfully I was so busy leaving, I missed out on a lot. The last time I saw him was before I left college when my now hubby and I went to hear his band play.
Notice of his death came by email. My best friend that I have known since preschool, two and a half years old to be exact, forwarded an email to me and several others.
As I sat in shock, I looked at all the names of the inboxes that email was sent and had been sent. Tears rolled down my face as memories flashed from grade school and high school.
It wasn't just friends. When you grow up in a small town you don't just have friends or acquaintances, no every one is family. You grow up together. You know every embarrassing moment, every accomplishment, every bit of gossip and every bit of success. You remember the silly haircut in first grade. You remember serving time in detention for throwing rocks on the playground. No matter how far apart you move from one another, you remain an email or phone call away. Conversations pick up where they were last left and the love runs deep for one another.
You remember marrying the boy up the street on the playground while your friends threw leaves in your hair like rice. Only as you were caught up, you failed to see the swing hitting your face until you were smack on the ground. It is ok because your new pretend hubby kept running never looking back!
Your parents are not only your parents, but at the same time you have an array of adults ready to set you in line when your parents are missing. There was the endless sleepovers, the endless house rollings, cowtipping, speeding down country roads, running from house to house, shock when a McDonalds was built in town and reminiscing when there was nothing but woods.
The thing about small towns is that no matter how far you go or how long you are away things still seem the same. New restaurants come in, buildings and roads are built, but the people are always willing to call you back with open arms.
For those who stayed, their lives move on. High school sweethearts marry, have kids and become the new generation of leaders and parents. They are still there for one another in good times and bad times.
I love living in my town. We live in a town similar to the town I grew up in, but even still it is bigger and not the same.
Nothing will ever be the same as the small town that I tried to run away from. I would never want it to be the same. There is something about going home and hanging out at the local Wal-Mart to reconnect with old friends that I would never want to replace.
Although, I have a new family in this new home, I still think of my old one often. I recently have reconnected with a lot of old family on sites such as Facebook.
It wasn't until this past week that I realized. I should have never been ashamed of that life. I am proud to have a family that is honest, caring and know me inside and out. I cherish the moment we get to reconnect and I dread the moments when members of that family move on to the afterlife.
The great thing about the small town life is no matter how many of us move on or how far we go, we are all small town products and those small towns are always waiting for our return. After all that small town past never goes away.
