Movies can be a reflection of life. Oftentimes, while watching movies, revelations can be made. Today was one of those days for me.
I want bore you with the details of the movie because it is rather insignificant. However, a revelation was made concerning my parenting.
I have a son who is a perfectionist. I pray daily for God to take a hold of him and show him that the great I AM is the only perfect one. My son confesses to be a Christian and his belief, but he is only seven and that concept he fails to grasp.
We spend most days battling him and his emotions. He continually tears himself down because he never feels he is good enough. One of the things he hates the most is not winning or being the best.
I find myself frustrated and embarrassed most of the time. Every Friday night, we have what I have termed, "The breakdown." It happens at the same time on the soccer field. I find myself getting so mad.
"Why can't you see it is just a game?"
Today, I had a revelation! It is just a game to me, but to him it isn't. It is important to him. It is who he is as a person.
He once told me that he loves sports and he wants to be able to play sports his whole life. After trying to convince him that he was more than an athlete, I said a selfish prayer asking God to not take the sports away. Why? Because I have never seen him as happy as he is when he is doing sports.
A few weeks later we found out that he was blind in his left eye. He never gave up. He continued to play and do things the same way as before. He learned to adjust.
The revelation I had was very simple. Preaching to him that God is the only perfect one or that it was only just a game or that there is always someone better isn't what he needs.
He needs a parent who supports him. A parent who knows how important it is to him even if it is just a game. I need to realize that in his eyes it isn't just a game.
See my path to God was not straight. My path was and is still at time filled with people pleasing and the wish to be as perfect as well. It is a curvy, rocky road.
God will use the desire and passion my son has to be perfect and the best. He will use his need to win in a way to bring him closer to his true father in heaven. I have no clue how he will do it, but me preaching isn't the way.
Instead of the responses I have spent years perfecting out of anger and embarrassment, it is time for me to understand him for who he is. No, he will never be perfect. No, he will never win every game. Yes, there will be tears every time. Yes, he will cry at school when a girl tears a story he had worked on all week, missing recess to finish. Yes, he will cry when he misses that goal or strikes out at the plate.
But my role as the parent will no longer be of downplaying the importance. Although in the grand scheme of things, it isn't that important of an event in his life. At that moment, it is important to him and he sees it as something he needed to accomplish! My revelation is to support him on his level and pray silently that it leads closer to the truth.
