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As with almost anything, Faith is our choice. Our minds either believe in a Heavenly Spirit, or they don't. Many of us say we have Faith, and believe we do, but when something drastic happens in our lives, we are put to the test. We may have a spot on our lung, and need to wait for results. In those days, fear grips us at our very core. We so want to believe that God will make it all okay, but some of us, in our times of deepest distress, may not be very sure.
We are afraid, and we intellectually know what to think, and believe in, but we secretly question if the outcome will be to our advantage. As we await our tests and think the worst but hope for the best, we need to make a choice. Are we going to practice what we preach and have Faith that no matter what happens, there is a reason? Will we accept God's reason, and understand it's not for us to try and figure out?
If we get a death sentence, will we be able to handle it? My mom did, and she never talked about her pain or her time left on Earth. I believe she was an angel. She was a wife, mother, sister, daughter, niece, and nurse with more compassion than I have yet to ever know. In the last couple of years of her life, at 57, her cancer was spreading everywhere, but she came to visit me with my dad, and played with my kids, and my other siblings and their kids.
She still worked, my dad bringing her to the GI suite in a wheel chair, until finally, she couldn't do it anymore. She passed away 3 months later. I believe she had the Faith I'm hoping for. She knew she was dying, not only from her doctor, but from her nurse's experience, but she never said a word. She kept going. She also taught me that everything happens for a reason, and always being reminded of that growing up, I also adopted the concept. It has helped me many times.
If something didn't happen that I wanted to, I would instinctually know that there was a reason, and it was in my best interest, because God knew better. That didn't mean I wasn't sad or angry or disappointed, it was simply that I wasn't meant to have what I wanted. My little pea brain wasn't as all knowing as my Heavenly Father, and I was going to trust in His judgment. I may wanted a certain sports car but I couldn't afford it, so I started saving for it.
When I was close to the sales price, I got laid off, and could only get a low paying job, so no car. I was mad, I was disappointed, but I knew there must be a reason. Maybe if I got that sports car, I'd end up killing myself in it. I didn't know that to be the case, but believing that God knew what was in store for me, and protected me from it, made me feel better. If I liked a certain cute boy in school, but he wanted nothing to do with me, sure it hurt, and made me feel "not good enough", but when he lit the gym on fire and went off to the detention center, I understood once again, why we hadn't gotten together.
Each occasion that happened, strengthened my Faith more and more. I began to see that Faith isn't worth anything if you don't believe it. It's easy to have Faith when things are going right, and that new boat's coming, and the grandkids are coming for a visit, and you're going to Europe on vacation in a month, and you just added a sun room to your home. Ah, everything is wonderful. I believe in God, and I have Faith in His judgment. And then, suddenly, your husband gets laid off, there goes the boat and the trip, and the grandkids have the chicken pox so they won't be coming. The sunroom leaks and the company won't fix it.
Do you go into depression mode, or let your anger consume you, or feel sorry for yourselves? Or do you revert to your Faith and know that everything happens for a reason? You may have crashed and drowned in the boat, you might not be young enough anymore to remember to keep your eyes on the kids at all times, and one goes missing. You may catch some rare disease in Europe, and be hospitalized and die before you even get back to the states. Your sunroom's roof may collapse while you're both watching TV causing painful injuries.
Our Faith is supposed to assure us that our Father is watching us, and caring for us, and protecting us. So if something doesn't happen the way we want it to, we have to make a choice. Are we going to rely on our Faith and know things are just the way they are supposed to be, and it's for a good reason, even if we don't know it at the time? Are we going to choose Faith over worry and anxiety and fear?
Faith over sadness and disappointment and anger? Faith over us thinking we know best? Faith over misunderstanding and judgment? If we have true Faith we will, and our lives will be so much easier. It just takes a little Faith!
Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, 18 and 21, and a daughter 23. Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go by herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, her son and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.
She certainly hopes you enjoy her take on life, and her style of communicating that in stories.
She has been on a journey of self discovery for twenty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some semblance of calm and peace within.
If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and maybe gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.
This is a wonderful article. You had a courageous and inspirational mother. If the grief I have experienced over these past four months has taught me anything, it is to live everyday as if it is my last - our faith can teach us life changing lessons! Thanks and be well.
Faith is a positive state of mind, but one so often hard to get our head around. A story in the Gospel of Mark comes to mind. The story is about a man who brings his child, who is possessed by an evil spirit, to Jesus, and asks Jesus to heal him "if you can." Jesus replies, "What do you mean, 'if I can? Anything is possible if a person believes." The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!" - Mark 9:21-23. Another verse that comes to mind is in Hebrews 11:1, "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."
I love your reference to "my little pea brain." I often refer to this as "my little puppy brain".
» left by Herb A Krantz from Dresher pa (223 days 5 hours ago.)
I've been mad at God, myself and others for alomost a year. My wife died suddenly Dec 11 2007. She was a very specail woman to not only to me but to everyone who know her. From our final converstion that she had with me I think she knew that she was going to die.
It's been a long and painfull journey for me. I do not look foward to the month of Dec but I feel if I get through it I can move on. I will alway miss her and no one will take her place. Now I have to forgive God and myself for letting her have that minor operations. Maybe she wouldn't of had the stroke but as you have said it is not for us to second guess God.
All I can say to anyone who reads this is make sure you hug your spouce or love one every moment you can, for you never know when it will be the last. I appericated this artical and the many other that you have written.
i feel your pain, i've been there, as you know, and not just with my mom, my dad passed away 7 years ago, and he was my hero.
maybe you might try volunteering for some type of senior citizens dinner, or children's toy giving program, or something that will make you feel more a part of life. i know it sounds easy for me to say, but it's only because i was in the deepest depths of despair myself when my mom passed, and then my dad, and i felt, even as an adult, that i was an orphan.
it helps to stay busy. it helps to make your home the way your personality is.
and it helps to be with people, even if you don't feel like it.
you will feel better as time goes on, that much i can promise you.
i have my mom's pictures above my computer, and my dad's, and i no longer cry when i look at them, i just talk to them, and i know they're listening.
thanks for the compliments. my e mail is posted. please don't hesitate when you need someone to talk to.
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