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As I was working today a friend stopped in to chat. He just wanted to talk about guy stuff but soon went into a conversation about his wife and his marriage. This guy and his wife are great people. They are so nice, intelligent, and sensitive. They both really do love each other. But their marital issues are some of the worst I have ever seen. I know that I am not a marriage councilor, but I have been though some things in my day. I have never been the best husband. I probably was one of the worst concerning my attitude about marriage. I.E. what is in it for me? I have had to learn how to love my wife.
Back to my two friends. What is the root of their problem? Their problem is the same as the core issue in many marriages today, SELF. I have learned from my marriage that good things take a great amount of work. But some times we focus that energy on what is wrong with the other person and not on ourselves. Could it be that we ourselves are part of the problem. What can we do to discover where we fall short? Marriage is a lot like children, they do not come with an instruction manual. However we can find one very good example of what real LOVE is. We find that in the resource for life, the Bible.
In Paul's writings we find that 1st Corinthians chapter 13 outlines Agape LOVE for us. This is God's love as it pertains to His creation. If we read it, we find that love is completely something that is given, not something we have. We do not have love for someone, we give love to someone. I have discovered that we have no given right to be loved. If you want to be loved you must make yourself LOVEABLE. What kind of person can I be in order for someone to love me? Think about it, what a better start toward a happier marriage than to be a more loving spouse.
In chapter 13 of 1 st Corinthians Paul lays out God's perfect love for His creation, mankind. Now I realize this is a tall order for us to reach, but what better example for us to mimic. I am not going to quote from the scripture, I rather you would go find a quiet place alone and read it yourself. You soon realize that love is all about giving to someone else. When you do this, ultimately you take the emphasis off yourself and on to the object of you love. This can be easy to start, but you will quickly find difficult to maintain. It is natural for us humans to want to look out for # 1 all the time. I have found that if I keep my focus and priority on Christ Jesus that my devotion is to my love ones. It is the right thing to do. What ever the situation you find yourself in. If you will ask yourself, how will this benefit my spouse or my love one? Follow though with the decision to put your spouse first and you will win!
Keeping your eye on Christ is another article for another day. I want to leave you today with this encouragement. If you will begin to pattern your life in such a way as to give this unconditional love we find in 1 st Corinthians 13, you will not be disappointed. Remember this love does not expect a response, but seeks to improve the life of the love one.
God's peace be to you.
The author is a 43 year old husband and father of 2 sons ages 20 & 23. The greatest thing in his life is his 1 year old granddaughter. He has earned a BS degree in Mathematics so writing is not his strong suit. He is a Christian business man who is dedicated to following Christ in business and in family life. He is a spiritual leader as well as a certified lay speaker in the United Methodist Church.
Hi Mr. Rick, This is a very encouraging article. One of the things my bible study class did years ago, was replace the word "love" with our name. Wow! When it was my turn and I had to say "Teresa is patient, Teresa is kind, and does not envy,etc... kinda puts things into perspective and it helped me to realize I have a lot to work on myself before I can start pointing my finger at my husband.
Thanks for the great message. Your writing is coming along nicely!! Keep it up and keep sharing your heart. God bless you!
Thank you for your wise words and focus. You are guided by the One who always Loves and is the best teacher around. I enjoyed your article very much and even made it one of my favorites.
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