Dear Jesus, I was walking to the post office, and I saw a man lying across someone's front porch steps. He seemed to be asleep, with black wool gloves, fingers exposed, an old black hat and a tattered coat. I would have gone to him and helped him, but I had no money, and no way to ease his pain. I realized it was an Earthly man, and when he looked up at me, I saw you in his eyes. I said a prayer that he would be okay.
I drove to get gas and I thought I saw you again. There was a young man in his thirties maybe, and he was disheveled and seemed incoherent, and lost. I imagined he was either on drugs, or in need of some. There was nothing I could do for him, but again, I saw you in his eyes. I said a prayer for him that he could get himself back on his feet. Both sightings were unnerving, because I really thought they were you. I had begun to get excited to meet you face to face, but as I drove to the grocery store, I realized, of course, they were a part of you, and you of them.
Still a little dazed, I saw a man ringing a bell next to a big black cauldron, and he had a Santa's hat on. This time, I knew it was you from the images I've always kept in my head. I was embarrassed I had no money to put in your container, but I smiled and wished you a happy holidays. When you looked in my eyes, they were blank, like you had been cast aside and your spirit had been broken. Before I could reach out to you, I again, realized this was a human man, and again, I saw you in his eyes. Through those eyes, I saw his kindness, and I said a prayer for him.
I stopped to get gas and saw a man rummaging through the garbage of the restaurant next door. I didn't want to fool myself again, nor get my hopes up, but he looked just like what I've pictured of you. He looked up at me for a second, as if I could be of help, and I saw you in his eyes. There was nothing again I could do for him, but I said a prayer. These men were all suffering in their own ways, for their own reasons, and I couldn't help them. I didn't even have any loose change to give each of them, and I felt so bad, and disheartened.
On my way back home, I saw a woman walking without a coat or hat, and 2 bags of groceries in her hands. I stopped and asked if she needed a ride. She refused, and after asking again, I continued on home, but I swear, when she looked at me, I saw you in her eyes. I said a prayer for her. As I drove up the hill, I noticed a car on the side of the road. I don't know how it was even legal, there was no front headlight, and rust had eaten away most of it, and the convertible top had huge rips in it.
I stopped and asked the man if I could be of any help. As he looked up at me, he smiled softly, and thanked me. I know I saw you in his eyes. He said he was almost done fixing the flat tire, but he appreciated me stopping. I left him there, and said a prayer for him. And then I thanked you for all you have given to me. I've been out of sorts for these past two years, and without a car or enough money, and living on the bare essentials, and I was angry and tired and definitely depressed. But I have a coat and a hat and my son's car if I need it, and food, and a home, and my sanity, and yet, I forgot to thank you.
Please forgive me, I've only been thinking about myself. I hope my prayers helped those who have so much less. I didn't feel like doing those chores today. I begrudgingly went on my way, and when I was done, I was grateful and happy and enlightened. I heard an ambulance go by, and as always, I prayed for those who needed their help. I thought to myself, "That could be you, but it's not, be grateful." And I am. I'm sorry I don't always remember to tell you so. My heart is in the right place, sometimes my mind just gets filled with so much other "stuff." As I was driving up my street, a car blew their horn behind me. It was a neighbor just saying hi, but when I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw you in my eyes.
