I wrote the following article intending to show how articles could be written in a fun and creative way even when the subject matter may at first appear mundane or difficult to write about.
(Oh, if you clicked only to see the list of curtain pole movies, please feel free to scroll down the page!)
It was hastily posted back in December of last year, when I was still very green in the business of writing articles, especially ones for internet marketing purposes. However with the benefit of hindsight and knowledge, most article websites worth their salt would have rejected the article for keyword stuffing.
I was aiming for "funny" and "creative" and you, the reader can be the judge of that but I definitely crammed those keywords in way too heavily and as such, I would now not recommend this particular article as a good example for internet marketing purposes.
Hopefully, in its now edited and re titled form it can find a new readership base here at searchwarp, where humour is appreciated and accepted.
The theme is curtain poles and, yes, your reaction of sudden sleepiness is the same as mine was all those months ago when asked to write something interesting about these pesky critters!
How do you write between four and six hundred "interesting" words about curtain poles? This is how I decided to do it. I took a trip down memory lane, to a time when curtain poles clearly had more of an influence in society, and yes it was before the 70's!
Each word in
italics is a reference to something or somewhere in the curtain pole industry.
My Kingdom for a Curtain Pole Possibly the Greatest Curtain Pole Article in the World!
Once upon a time in the mystical and mysterious land of home improvement and
interior design there lived a
curtain pole. In fact there lived many
curtain poles all with their own personality and unique design.
The
curtain poles lived in times of trouble and persecution. The world was evolving around them and for a while they struggled to keep their
finials above water. A society of fast food and video games had left the poor
curtain poles and
tracks behind.
Many in
curtain pole village had lost hope and saw nothing but darkness in the future. Some had gone off the
rails completely and turned to drink!
One day Queen of the
curtain poles, whose name was
Nikola (aged 35) decided that she didn't want to live in the shadows any longer. No more would she
holdback. She wanted to be seen, she wanted to feel important, she wanted to restore some
prestige, so she set her mind to organising a
curtain pole uprising. After much preparation and training and when every
aspect of the invasion had been carefully planned, they were ready! The
poles and tracks were about to be unleashed upon the world.
Whilst they were undergoing their rigorous training the
curtain pole army began making weapons. They used anything they could get their hands on. They used wood (grafting weapons out of
walnut, oak and pine) and all kinds of different metal (
chrome, brass, silver) and painted them in lots of different colours.
There was a new determination in
curtain pole village; the atmosphere was
poles apart from what it had been just a few years earlier. The soldiers stood tall and brave and waited for battle. All had their own
insignia engraved onto their shields and helmets. They would enter battle in grand and
exquisite style; all other
home improvement accessories would be in awe of their
couture look. The constellations looked down upon then,
Orion smiled proudly at the army's
grandeur.
Queen
Nikola summoned the massive army before her, for she would lead the invasion herself. They would invade homes and businesses the world over. No stone would be left unturned in their quest for world domination. From
Hampshire to
Havana , from
Basingstoke to
Belgravia, from
Lincoln to
Los Angeles , the whole planet would feel the wrath of the
curtain poles.
They would attack with stealth and speed, from all angles they would appear. By land, by air, by sea and even by
monorail!
Holdback, holdback, holdback! Queen
Nikola cried, waiting for just the right moment.
Attack, Attack! This was it! The
curtain poles and tracks moved with such skill and determination that the world was powerless to respond. Casualties were few because the curtain poles were merciful but victory was comprehensive and complete. They had succeeded in infiltrating every home and every life. Every window and every door bore the mark.
Of course I am far too young to remember this historic battle of
curtain pole hill but my grandfather told me many stories about it and I have since seen many documentaries and movies about it. My favourite starring Sally
Florentine and Edward
Rockingham was The Charge of the
Telescopic Curtain Pole. Although I have to admit that Full
Metal Curtain Pole runs it a close second. Dominic
Galleria was magnificent in that!
Other great movies I would recommend are:
Das
Curtain Pole
Curtain Pole On The River Kwai
Poles and Tracks Now
The Life and Death of
Curtain Pole
Curtain Poles from Iwo Jima
Gone with the
Curtain Poles
Curtain Pole and Commander
Curtain Pole Dawn
The Thin Red
Curtain Pole
The
Pole and Tracks of Navarone
Pole Busters
We Were
Curtain Poles
The Manchurian
Curtain Pole
Pole Harbour
A
Curtain Pole Too Far
Pole! Pole! Pole!
Where
Curtain Poles Dare
All Quiet on the Western
Curtain Pole
Marco
Polo
Saving Private
Finial
I apologise if I missed any other great curtain pole movies, please feel free to add to the list and compare notes.
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