The older I get, the less I seem to know for sure. It's not that I lack wisdom, but life is not a clear-cut, fixed matter, but an ever-changing, fluid experience. Each moment is new and is filled with the wonder and mystery of the unknown.
As a child, life appeared certain. I lived in a comfort zone which protected me from the reality of a world complete with ambiguity, paradox and difficult challenges. As I became older, reality uprooted the foundation of my world. I could no longer hide behind my black and white thinking that served me well as a youngster.
Control is an Illusion
As an adult, I learned to embrace the insecurity that comes with the unpredictable nature of life. According to Alan Watts, holding onto security is like trying to grab water into your hands - it is elusive. Holding too tightly onto matters brings to mind "the law of reverse effort." Hanging on is more likely to make us feel out of control.
Although the very fabric of my life has been shaken, the good news is that things appear adventurous. Every day is a new journey, with excitement as I travel into the unknown. I am on a wild, crazy ride that leads me to conclude, "What do I know for sure, anyway?"
Consider this. One traveler gets on a plane with a destination for home. She is excited about seeing her family. However, the plane goes down in the Everglades of Florida and all passengers are lost. A friend of hers makes a last-minute change in her flight plans, deciding to stay in Miami for another day. She wakes up in the morning and is confronted with the horrible news. Why did she survive, while her friend did not? Some would like to provide us with the comfort of their philosophical or religious explanations. In my opinion, they are not good enough.
Two Roads Diverge
What about this scenario? A child is raised in a home filled with parental abuse. As he enters into adulthood, he struggles to "find himself" and eventually ends up being a successful partner, father and businessman. His brother grows up in the same environment, and moves into adulthood lashing out at the world, blaming others for his failure to function and achieve. Is there an answer to this dilemma?
From my own experience, I have a disorder called fibromyalgia. Some doctors think it's "in my head." All I know is that I chronically ache all over with trigger points on muscles that hurt on contact. It is painful when my skin is touched. Does anyone know why this happens? There are clues, but no definitive answers and no clear-cut solutions to fix the problem. Women tend to suffer from it more than men. I'm not sure why that's the case and neither are the doctors.
More kids these days are suffering from autistic spectrum disorders. It appears to be a neurologically-based problem which affects children's ability to communicate and establish appropriate social relationships with age-mates. These children appear rigid and controlling in their behaviors and latch onto a topic that they perseverate about. Nutritional clues to this syndrome have not materialized as causes, so we are left with an uncertainty as to why autism occurs and why it is increasing in frequency. There are no easy answers.
The Paradox of Those Who Know-It-All
Ironically, there are individuals and groups who feel that they know it all. They tend to have all the right answers, and can back their ideas up with "talking points," biblical interpretations, and personal experience. For these people, life appears easier because there are no gray areas or ambiguities in life. They are splendid advise-givers and tell me and others how to think and believe. My gay friends tell me they were born that way and love the same God that I do. But, does the Bible tell me so? What do I know for sure?
Individuals who always think they are right are frightening to me. Hitler claimed he was right and look what happened as evil impacted the lives of millions. David Koresh believed he was right and what a mess he made. For those who profess to be right, there are no options to their way of thinking. Just recently, I read a politically motivated article in which the author ended with, "Jesus Christ endorses this message." I believe that using religion in this way is disingenuous and blasphemous - but, what do I know?
Embracing the Adventure
I wish life was as simple as many make it out to be. I would feel less strife. However, it would not be authentic. It would leave me living in a bubble away from the complex realities of life. The simplicity would also take the adventure and wonder out of living with uncertainty. I do not know why certain things happen the way they do. I can live with that. After all, what do I know for sure anyway?
James P. Krehbiel, Ed.S., LPC, CCBT is an author, freelance writer and nationally certified cognitive-behavioral therapist practicing in Scottsdale, Arizona. He received his post-graduate counseling training at Northern Illinois University. James has taught Master's level classes in counselor education through Chapman University of California. He specializes in working with patients who have depressive, anxiety, pain management and autistic spectrum disorders. James has written numerous articles on a variety of counseling-related topics, all available via Google searches. His first book, Stepping Out of the Bubble, is available at www.booklocker.com. James is in the process of having his second work published which is entitled, It Never Was About You: Saying Goodbye to theMagical Illusions of Childhood. He can be reached through his new, contemporary website at www.krehbielcounseling.com.
Good article James, yes it seems every time we find answers to problems we face everyday there are always new questions we must answer to clarify our solutions. "keep on trucking"
Interesting article, James. There is "an insecurity that comes with the unpredictable nature of life" as you put it, but I would rather live my life accepting this rather than deluding myself and those around me into thinking that I have everything figured out.
I learned a long time ago that sometimes bad things happen to good people, and it rains on the just and the unjust. I believe that embracing this concept makes it easier to be kind to those around me. Instead of trying to figure out why the guy next to me is going through such hard times, I am free to show him compassion and spend my energy helping him get through his hard times.
The problem is, as you've pointed out, uncertainty doesn't sell well. We'd like to think a person or a group of people are either all bad or all good, but that is rarely, if ever, the case.
Take care and keep up the thought-provoking writing!
I don't know why you think that people who just simply, believe that the Bible is the Word of God, to be delusional, as you have stated many times in your "using the Bible as a cookbook" theology. And by saying that you are the one who is mature in your faith, is the same as saying that you are right and we are wrong. But we only go by what the Bible says after diligent study. I don't know why you have such animosity. All I can say is go your way and we'll go ours. I hope that someday you will find some peace and relief from your anger and resentments for people who "go by what the Bible says." We think the book in its entirety speaks miles and miles of wisdom and it is beautiful in its harmony. And because we believe this, of course we think that it is correct and inerrant! You have your own interpretations.
Condemning those who only repeat what the Bible says, is also saying that you are the one with the correct interpretations! But this is all ridiculous "I'm right, you're wrong" infantilism.
We just believe that the Bible is the Truth, and presents an awesome philosophy and the correct way to live for our own happiness. If you don't believe us, that is fine. Perhaps your real issue is with the Bible itself.
Our thoughts are echoed by numerous theologians who write the many commentaries that all say nearly the same things regarding Scripture interpretations, with very little variations.
I don't understand what you are so angry about, but I think it has little to do with us.
Thank you for commenting. I am not sure what you are reacting to. First, this is an open community for ALL writers. Second, when it comes to the Bible and other issues of life, I believe that I do not know everything, thus the title. Be well.
"Ironically, there are individuals and groups who feel that they know it all. They tend to have all the right answers, and can back their ideas up with "talking points," biblical interpretations, and personal experience. "
And all of the other comments you have made regarding Christians as of late. I love the Bible and studying the Bible. I do think that it is the Word of God, as do many, many others. You have accused Chrisitans for thinking that they are right so many times. But I am telling you that it is not "us" who think we are right. It is the Bible itself that we feel is right.
I wish that I could somehow show you what I see as the magnificance of the Bible. I don't really like some of the ordinances either, but I believe that if God says that they are wrong, my faith is as such that it is for my own good. The Bible leaves me so so awe stricken at times, that it is almost euphoric. It hurts me to hear you condemning these people for sticking to the Word. I think fundamentalism has been given a bad rep, and should be changed to the more accurate "Orthodox Christianity".
I have no idea what you mean by your comment that Searchwarp is for all writers? I never said that you couldn't or shouldn't. But when people write articles they should know that because this is an open forum, that the contents thereof will be rightly disputed or agreed upon. If a writer can not handle the debate, then perhaps they should re think what kind of articles that they post. Obviously. It is even in SearchWarp's mission statement that this be a forum for intelligent debate. I make comments on articles that capture my attention by the title, and then decide whether or not I agree or disagree, and determine if I disagree strongly enough to post a comment. If I did not care about the subject matter, it would not matter at all that I disagree - I still would not bother to comment.
Thanks for responding to my request for more articles from you (whether this is what you were doing or not), I'm happy to see this new addition. Every body has a perception. You've framed an interesting perspective in "What Do I Know For Sure Anyway?" I agree James, not one of us is the possessor of all wisdom.
'Tis the season to be jolly . . . I'm sending joy, peace and happiness your way! Have a Merry Christmas.
Yes, I did hear you! LOL. I always appreciate hearing from you. You are such a gracious woman. Back to you on having a wonderful Christmas and New Year. God Bless you.
James, you have me laughing. You did hear me! Thanks for hearing the call and doing something about it. I agree with Bruce, your articles are thought-provoking.
Agreement isn't what I seek but knowledge, wisdom and understanding are. They bring diversity in thought and requires possibility-thinking, don't you think? Things could possibly be different from our perception of them and we must therefore be open minded. I'll listen but that doesn't mean I'll conform or teach what I heard.
Thank you for the graciousness of your comments, James. I adore a gentleman. *warm smile*
Some on this site, not you, wrongly assume that I know nothing about the Bible and that I do not respect it because I am not as definitive about certain issues as they may be. One of my favorite verses is when Jesus said in John 5:38,39; "You search the Scriptures, because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is these that bear witness of Me; and you are unwilling to come to Me, that you may have life." To me, this means that the Bible is nothing more than a “book” unless we know the Author. Once we know Him, we can better look at what the contents mean to us and determine their significance. I have a problem with being overly-literal with interpretations of the Word of God due to missing the cultural context, missing the intent of original translation, missing the over-arching message as we cherry pick verses and how we filter the Word through the bias of our own experience – As I said, "I am just not always sure.” The most important thing that God has taught me is to be inclusive, not exclusive as people use preconceived biblical interpretations to foster a “we/they” mentality. In this regard, God has taught me to respect all people, for Paul said in Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” I know I am not a conventional thinker on topics pertaining to the Scriptures and God, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the same love and devotion for the Lord that others have. Thanks for listening. Peace to you always!
James, I may be guilty of what you're saying and there is a reason. I guess many of us are alike in that we have our convictions and are passionate about them enough to shove them down the throats of those who differ. No, that's not how it should be done. I try to speak Truth from His Word as I honestly believe and try to live it. I have been wrong, corrected, enlightened, criticized, ostracized and called a freak. I count it all joy for His sake. When the Holy Spirit corrects me, it is so. I am not persuaded by anyone or anything! I love when that happens.
James do you recall the story of the Prodigal Son? We tend to focus on him over the elder son who stayed home. Their father had the most trouble out of this one who was jealous and upset over the attention the youngest son received after returning home. Jesus Christ also had the most problems out of religious people not the sinners. Sinners welcomed Him. The religious people were the ones to say, "Crucify Him!" We need teachers, preachers, evangelists etc. but what is important is relationship. Relationship with Christ is intimate and personal. It's important to me to let my light shine in everything I do but I can forego what Avis desires to say in comments many times. I am very good at casting my cares about everything. I feel this venue is good for writing and discussion but not debating the Word. It leaves much that can be incorrectly interpreted because the exchange is limited.
I've said it before, what I love most about all of this is that people know and love Jesus enough to talk and write about Him. We're going to differ but He is glorified above all, not us. That I know for sure! *smile*
James, from what I have read about that verse in scripture, and from my own experience of being Born again, this scripture is referring to the religious leaders who all followed the commands of the Old Testament, and yet they still do not see that Jesus is the Messiah ( which is obvious in all the prophecies).
James I guess, if I may consider what you are saying and not in any personal way toward you but I do agree that there are many who will force their concepts and ideas and yes beliefs onto others. Hey I strive to get my point across in my articles each time I write as you do. Not to believe in ones work, well why write? Yet we should be open to counter arguments, suggestions, concepts, idea's' facts. I do believe though, that is if one professes, there are things they cannot deviate from. Certainly interpretation is what splits us down the middle. What it all boils down to nothing will be solved until the Lord returns. My thoughts, continue looking up and taking note of the signs and symbols all about us and we all have reality. Best wishes.
Dear James: I'm guessing you may have read Alan Watt's book The Wisdom Of Insecurity. Anyway, this was a great article. I so often wonder why things happen, why one person is saved and another dies. I spent yesterday visiting with my mother in the hospital. I don't know if she will pull through this time or not. My father also came by. He thought of himself as a singer. He sang in the chorus of the Dallas opera and other groups. He was also a church of Christ preacher. He loves music and loves his voice. Now, at 79, he has atypical Parkinson and I don't know if it is part of it or not, but he has lost his voice. Why, he asked me. Why did it have to be his voice? He sounds raspy and after only a few minutes of talking even that raspy-ness is gone and he just sits and looks off into empty space. Why does the artist go blind, the composer deaf, the singer mute, and dancer lame? People who could care less about dance retain their mobility. Why?
Blaming God is sort of a natural response for some of us, because we were raised to believe that God is:
1. all knowing
2. all powerful
3. and distilled pure love
So if God has all this love and power and knows we have these problems then why is he not fixing stuff? He isn't, which means what? He either is ignorant (not all knowing) or weak (not all powerful), or perhaps the worst option left is he is not all loving.
The truth is we don't know, and we are probably not going to know, at least not on this side of heaven.
My mind seeks meaning. I want stuff to mean something, and to make sense, and living with mystery, living with problems that have no answers is, well, less than satisfying.
What do I know for sure? I know that I am leery of people who think they have it all figured out. When I get around people who know God's will so well they are explaining to God and everyone else, well, psychologically, I unsnap the closure on my holster and get ready to defend myself.
I am so much more comfortable when people are sharing their journey, revealing their search, rather than condemning me because I am not at the same spot on life's journey that they are on, and I sense that openness in your writing.
None of us are, where we are going to be later. Doubt can become faith. Faith may become doubt. Stuff I am sure about now may be baffling to me tomorrow.
It is, I think, the search that matters, not the conclusions.
As soon as we think we have the answers we tend to stop looking, stop searching, stop being open. Why should we? If you know, you don't have to keep trying to know. Makes sense, I guess, for some.
I have a phrase I have been using for years. It may not be original to me, but if it is borrowed, well, I don't know who it was borrowed from, nevertheless, it goes like this:
THE MORE YOU LOOK -- THE MORE YOU SEE.
I hope my last day on earth I am still looking, still seeing new things, still open to new thoughts, new facts, new ideas.
Thanks for your insightful comments. The other day a woman passed by my office and exclaimed to a colleague, "I am sure it all happened for a reason." With that in mind, my next article will be entitled, "Does Everything Always Happen for a Reason?" Stay tuned! Thanks again my friend. Be well.
I am sorry. I forgot to acknowedge your pain with your parents. It must be very difficult for you to watch them age and lose their capacity to take care of themselves as independent adults. I lost my Mom in July and I know the feeling. Hang in there buddy.
This reminds me of the old fable about the 5 blind men who were taken to the zoo and allowed to pet a tame elephant. One of them put his hand on it's ear, one on it's trunk, another on it's tail, yet another on it's tusk, and the final one on it's side. Then they argued long and loud about what the elephant was like. Of course, their arguments were completely based on what they themselves were experiencing.
So many times we are like that. We argue vehemently for our perspective but if we would just take the time to switch places, we would clearly see why others are saying what they are saying. It's sad, really, how much we let ourselves become entrenched and defensive instead of just listening and learning from each other...
Hey James, long time. I love your articles but there was something odd about this one. You are talking about being certain about something and you gave Hitler and Koresh as an example of people who thought they were right but made a mess of things.
I'll certainly give you Hitler but I've investigated at depth what happened in Waco and I believe the mess you speak of lies squarely on the shoulders the ATF and FBI who believed they were certain about something.
Anyway, I believe there is a measure of uncertainty as to why Waco ended badly but you seem to be sure it was because of Koresh. I'm not picking here, I respect your ideas and thoughts more than anyone elses, but I think you may have contradicted yourself. Please correct me if I'm wrong and feel free to edumacate me! lol
Sensitive subject on our Government and their actions, sorry for that. Anyway, I looove your stuff and I'm glad your back on Searchwarp, I've been away awhile myself doing some investigative reporting on Big Brother.
Great article, well written with great style and great formating of content. The article captured my attention and certainly made me think on a different level! .
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