" May old acquaintance be forgot and never more to rise.. ...." - Auld Lang Syne
At this time of the year a person usually takes the time to reflect back on the many incidences and opportunities, both positive and negative, that he/she has experienced and which may have left a lasting impression in their minds and hearts and perhaps deeply impacted their lives. .
While the major political upheavals and economic downturns made the top headlines this year there are also lesser-known personal situations ( pet peeves) which deserve some public laundering and evaluation. With these considerations in mind I'd like to list my year end personal pet peeves.
Toy Poodles
Toy poodles are not really all that playful. They tend to bark all day, yip and yammer all night and then have the audacity to relieve themselves all over your freshly mowed lawn. If you work an afternoon shift the constant barking eventually disrupts your sleep cycle. So to keep yourself busy you try mowing the lawn only to end up stepping in poodle poop. Why can't these dogs run on batteries?
Bank Tellers
I respect and truly appreciate the demanding and important job bank tellers perform for the bank's customers. There are however a number of tellers who have this seemingly neurotic need to reveal to the whole world ( well, at least those customers standing in line behind you) not only your current account balance but also the exact amount of money you'll be withdrawing that day. Quick get a megaphone!
Easy to Read Instructions
Easy to read assembly instructions are usually written in languages other than English ( Ikea does this a lot usually in Swedish). Half the time the item you have to assemble , (usually a chair or table or desk), was packaged without the proper assembly tools included. You can only accomplish so much using an Allan wrench and diagrams. Many times these accompanying diagrams are difficult to decipher. I suppose you can only assemble a chair in a limited number of configurations.
Corporate honesty and integrity
The company you work for publicly and emphatically promoting honesty and fair play for all employees while behind closed doors the less than honest and non productive employees are ardently jockeying for position and rewarded for their cunning , guile and lack of conscience.
Rental Apartment Owners
Owners and managers of apartment complexes post signs on lawns and doorways proclaiming to the world that tenants' rents have been protected since 1994. Legally however they eagerly jack up the rates once a year and claim "increasing operating costs" are to blame. I'm sure that's another glib term meaning "increasing greed"..
Drivers who tailgate
A major frustration award goes to those drivers who follow too closely behind your own vehicle for a number of miles. Being a good and responsible driver you let these folks pass you only to have them slow down to a snail's crawl for no apparent reason. Magically as the traffic light ahead turns amber these same slow pokes gun the engine and become NASCAR contenders.
Dive bombing seagulls
You take the time to carefully wash and wax your car only to have a sea gull experiencing a major bowel dysfunction dump all of its semi-digested lunch on your vehicle's roof. I swear that some of these birds have either overdosed on too many MacDonald french fries or have gone beyond their daily Metamucil allotment.
Too many chefs
I live in an apartment complex that houses nine certified chefs who all happen to enjoy cooking with yellow-skinned onions as their main ingredient....all working overlapping shifts...all cooking this mixture at home on a seemingly 24/7 basis. I've inhaled so much onion vapor in the past little while that I think I'm actually urinating onion juice. Go figure!
What's in a name?
You try to return your DVD rental to a company named "24 Hour Video Station" only to discover that the outlet closes at 10 pm, is open only 12 hours a day and is closed on weekends. When I asked an employee/manager about this he told me that "24 Hour Video Station" was just the name of the rental outlet. Jeez!
Final notation
You can readily see that these situations would never make headline news status. They are major issues to the people involved and understandably can be especially frustrating. But they are all a part of life and the human condition and help you appreciate people even more if you take them all with a few grains of salt and a cup full of humor. We all have our moments!
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