I happened to have my 21 year old son on the night before we were moving into our new home. No one could come to see us because they were all helping to move us in. We were alone, and we bonded. Our birthdates are 10 days apart, and we share many of the same character traits, both good and bad. We have "bantered" most of his 21 years, but I always could get him to do the right thing. He is sweet, and caring, and sentimental, and stubborn, and his feelings are easily hurt.
He likes to be the center of attention, being the middle child, with an older sister, and younger brother. He is kind, and loves nature. He came home to his apartment one night to 5 kittens his cat had just had, and took care of them until they could be given away. He was very picky who he gave them to, and would not separate the last kitten from it's mother. He has a great sense of humor, and everyone has always liked him.
He is sincere in his feelings, and always makes sure his mom has a birthday or Christmas gift. He has nice friends whom I have known and talked to for 15 years or more. He is very intelligent, and speaks well. He is respectful, and knows how to act in a respectful manner. He was working at our local A & P, and friends of mine would tell me how nice and helpful he was to them. One woman even called me after she got home to sing his praises. He's a hard worker, although he doesn't like to work hard! He's been working at a job that requires a lot of heavy lifting, and he managed very well.
He's very tall, 6'3 or 4". He has beautiful hazel eyes that shine and illuminate his face. He's been through the piercing stage, and ended that to go on to a huge tattoo on his side. He also listens to me, as I suggested he not get one anywhere that would hinder a later job interview. He taught himself how to play guitar, and became excellent at it. He played in a few bands, and my partner and I went to see him, and it was a proud feeling to hear him play on stage.
When he played in his room, I never minded, I loved hearing him make music from strings. I asked him to learn "A stairway to Heaven" for me, and he hemmed and hawed about not having the right guitars, etc., but a couple of weeks later, he called me into his room one night, and played it for me. It's a feeling only a mother who loves her child with all her heart and soul can appreciate.
He is loyal, and honest, and sometimes, he is too impulsive. He had a nice apartment that he set up beautifully, and it was warm and cozy, and he kept it clean. He enjoyed being on his own, learning how to clean and cook and do dishes and empty garbage and have his friends over. Often! All of his friends lived at home, so it was great for them to be able to spend Saturday nights at his place. He told me once when I called him that he always knew it was me when the phone rang, even though he had so many friends, and got a lot of calls. I asked him how he knew, and he said, "I don't know, I can just feel it."
Saying good-bye, and hearing, "I love you" filled my heart and warmed my soul. He moved back in to our home because for whatever reasons, he decided to join the air force. He said he wants to make something of himself, and he bought everything the recruiter told him. I'm sure we all know they paint a pretty picture. And collect a nice commission. He's been here about a week, and is simply taking it easy, knowing what he's up against come next Tuesday, when a recruiter will come to my house and take him to the airport, and travels beyond our quiet street. There was more incentive to sign up for 6 years, so, my precious boy did just that.
My problem is, how do I stand on my front porch, hug my son, and not let go? How do I wave good-bye knowing that at the least, he will be going through some very difficult training, then vo-tech, and then, who knows? Where will they send him? What will he see? Death? Amputations? Blood, guts, and gore? Will he have to kill? And God forbid, will he be killed?
The other side of me is positive and proud, and thinks he'll do well, and set himself up to be able to support himself and a family. God, please allow me to always think on the positive side. And please don't let me collapse once the car no longer can be seen driving him to his destiny.
I pray you will keep him safe. And I pray that I believe You will.
Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, 18 and 22, and a daughter 24. Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go by herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.
She certainly hopes you enjoy her take on life, and her style of communicating that in stories.
She has been on a journey of self discovery for twenty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some semblance of calm and peace within.
If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and maybe gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.
A very good article Susan, you described your son's life very well here. We all go through different stages of life. I believe your son will do well on his own and entering a new profession.
we figured out that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to take him to the airport, so hopefully, his friend will.
this way, i'll be okay at the house, and i can break down when he leaves :)
a lot of people don't understand the God given heart of a mother-i've tried to explain it.
my partner even knows that if i were able to push him out of the way when a bus was coming straight at us, i would, however, if it were my kids the bus was aiming for, i'd run under it and lift it up!
i would try to push my partner out of the way if a bullet was heading his way, but if it were my kids, i'd stand in front of them.
Good article, Sue. This transition time of the kids growing into adulthood is a scary thing for us parents. It is something you just can't comprehend until you are in that phase of life. Please tell your son "Thank you" for me, OK? And I will be praying for you and him as God places you in my mind.
imagine how funny it will feel watching your daughter be a mother, and if the baby cries, do you ask if you could hold them? just take them? or watch?
i was just coming up our hill to the house and i saw the school bus stop and a boy maybe 12, got off and started walking up our street, and i said, oh, man, (or something like that) this is another generation, my kids used to be doing that.
i'm getting old.
and yet we're not, we're in our 50's, that's still young, but if we had kids young(which i didn't, 29 was my first), and they have kids young, you can be a grandmother at this age. that's a good thing. more energy to enjoy them.
i remember visiting my grandmother and she was in 2 places, her chair, or the dinner table.
My ex was in the Navy, joined when he was 25 to settle himself down after meeting me. It was hard to let him go into harms way as he joined right beofre the first gulf war.
His mom was a lot like you, so proud of him and every mistake and subsequent "right" thing he did to center the moral compass she had placed in his heart since birth.
Yes, I give him a hard time but it is becasue we are so different in so many ways and our failed marriage had nothing to do with his moral character.
He told me not to worry when he left for boot camp because the Navy very rarely saw combat up close and personal like the army and marines.
The airforce is a pretty safe bet as well once you look at the record, even if he ends up flying. He is going to do great.
Easy for me to say right now as mine are all still tucked away in the nest. Good luck to you and your son and be proud of this decision to support his country and make something of himself. It did wonders for my ex in the transition from young adult to responsible man. lol
because of the recruiter talking to him, he played up the money and good job side, and so my son says he wants to better himself, and get a good paying job, and for that i am totally proud, but he only says, "If i have to go into combat, that's what i have to do." unfortunately, there are no good paying jobs for our 18plus teens and young adults, so many do join the armed forces, but for the jobs, not the patriotism, although they do know that's a chance, and they are accepting it, so, yes, i am proud of him-you talked me into it :)
» left by Dianne Lehmann from Dewey, AZ (287 days ago.)
Hi Sue.
You hold him in your heart even if you can't wrap your arms around him. You've given him the tools he needs to succeed. I have faith he will do well and be just fine.
Hi Sue, Don't know how this one got by me. What a wonderful tribute to your son. So often these types are written when the one being praised cannot see it. This will surely be a strong hold for your son in days and years to come. I appreciate his choice and applaud him for it. He is going in to make something of himself, yet he will come away with something much bigger--He will have been an active player in our freedoms. The Air Force is a wise choice. Its a tough time to be in the military, but I also think there is no greater honor on this planet than to be apart of something that makes a difference for all Americans.
I will be praying for him and for you. You have my number, call anytime.
» left by Amy from West Babylon (128 days 4 hours ago.)
If not for the fact that my son is 5'9" instead of 6'3", this sounds like you wrote this about my life. My son (now age 22) is leaving for the Air Force and you have put my feelings into your words. He plays the guitar, he worked in a grocery store, he is a hardworker who doesn't want to work hard and his heart is made of gold. He was bullied through school and this left its scars on him.
He wants to join the Air Force to make a difference somewhere. I want him to stay safe in his custodian job - but his mind is too sharp for that, the boredom is killing him. He once said to his father and me "If I die in a car accident and never got the chance to do something, what good is it. If I die in the Air Force, it will be because I was trying to make something better somewhere."
So my heart, like yours, will go with my son and I will pray to God for his safe return. He is our baby (youngest of 4) and the one who makes our lives complete. We will miss him, terribly.
there was a glitz somewhere and i wasn't getting my comments until today.
my son is home now for 3 weeks before he goes to germany for 2 or 3 YEARS :( and now my daughter has joined the army, and leaves october 20th.)
it's very difficult, something i never anticipated happening. i used to hope that there wouldn't be a draft before my boys were past that age, and now one is in the air force, and a daughter will be in the army, during war!
however, faith and hope will keep me sane until they return.
» left by isaac vinas from brooklyn, ny (51 days 14 hours ago.)
Hi my name is Isaac and I recently turned 17 years old and I joined the airforce.. I think your story was beautiful and it sounds like you and your son has much in comon and have a great mother and son relationship.. I know its hard to let go, but its part of life and I hope to see your son or get to know him..
thank you for reading and commenting. it IS hard to let go, especially when it isn't clear whether he, and now, my daughter, who is going into the army october 20th, will be in combat or not. i will have faith in God, and trust my children will do well.
i hope you will do well, and will pray for you when i do so for my kids.
» left by Renee from Tennessee (32 days 20 hours ago.)
Hi Sue,
I have just recently jumped into your shoes. My son just left for Basic Training last Tuesday, and I have cried my eyes out. I got my first phone call today, and he gave me his address. I've made copies of it for everybody, and I'm getting ready to run his first letter to the post office. I'm trying to find some kind of support group for mothers like me. Like you, I'm scared to death. It's bad enough to have to let them go, and know they're having a hard time. Even harder to wonder if they'll be sent into a war zone. If you have any support groups that you think would help, I would very much appreciate it. Thank you. Connie
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