We know that when it comes to beauty and allure, we fix what we can and accentuate the positive. Do you have pretty eyes? Make them beautiful with just the right makeup. What part of your body is your best beauty feature? Wear clothing that accentuates it. Nurture your hair, skin, and nails. Put it all together and, voila, you are the alluring package that will attract the man of your dreams! Right? Perhaps.
Often, when we fix what we can and accentuate what is positive about our physical features, insecurity lies beneath the drive to find our own, personal perfection. How often do you shop for a new eye shadow or nail color, not just because the season and color palettes have changed, but because deep down inside there is something missing that is keeping you from having the romantic relationship you long for? With the purchase of the new shade of whatever, you hope to hold his attention or get it for the first time.
There is a free beauty enhancement out there. It really works and any woman can have it. Some women are fortunate enough to have had it passed on to them by their mothers and grandmothers, or even their fathers. Those of us who did not inherit it can acquire it. That beauty enhancement is confidence and, like a beauty mark, it can turn a man's head in your direction, like a mystery he needs to solve.
A model for the difference confidence makes shows up in movies all the time, especially movies with a Cinderella theme. "Pretty Woman," "Princess Diaries," "Never Been Kissed," and "The Mirror has Two Faces," come to mind.
In "Never Been Kissed," Drew Barrymore's "Josie Geller" is the epitome of the insecure but brilliant student who never shed that insecurity until she got herself in a bind. During her second chance to do high school, even though she wants to get it right this time, her awkward body language belies her efforts. Her English teacher, Mr. Coulson, sees past the awkwardness, fascinated by her mind and conflicted by his admiration of her.
By the end of the movie, the experience brings her to her knees. However, when she gets up, she goes forward with more confidence and savvy, wins her man, and has her first kiss in one of the best wrap-up movie scenes of all time!
In "The Mirror has Two Faces," Barbra Streisand plays a woman whose soul beauty is reflected in the beauty of her face, if she can only muster the confidence to make the connection. Her character, Rose, begins frumpy, her body language awkward. We wait for the ugly duckling to become a beautiful swan.
Rose marries Gregory Larkin, who is fed up with being run over by strikingly gorgeous women. In Rose, Gregory creates a wife with whom he can have a comfortable friendship rather than a passionate romance. He wants a celibate marriage. His mind, so firmly made up, he cannot see how he falls in love with his wife, a woman very different from all the other women he has known.
Because Rose thinks the celibate marriage idea is absurd and genuinely loves Gregory with a passionate heart, she requests sex! Out of fear, Gregory rejects Rose in the middle of her seduction and breaks her heart. With a convenient separation brought on by his sabbatical, Rose has three months to transform herself from a frumpy, insecure professor into a confident, knock out, sexy woman.
Beyond the new way she physically presents herself, as Rose builds her confidence, she finds her voice. When she agreed to the conditions of Gregory's proposal, she lied. With her confidence now in tact, she is able to give Gregory much more of herself than she did before, even if the truth she now speaks threatens them both!
Her confidence bowls Gregory over until he has to recognize all the love and passion he has inside for her! He asks her to marry him, as if it is the first invitation. The movie ends with the two of them making out, dancing, and kissing in the street!
Confidence, like a beauty mark, is sexy. When a man sees a confident woman, he first checks her out visually to see if she is appealing to him. If she is then her confidence attracts him. He finds her interesting and longs to get to know her better. The chase begins. When you practice confidence in your walk, your dress, your tone, your eye contact, you make yourself irresistible to men who find you attractive! If you are already in a relationship with the man you hope to intrigue all over again, a new or renewed confidence will get his attention!
Bio: Sarah Elizabeth Malinak is a self-love coach and co-author with her husband, Joseph, of "Getting Back to Love: When the Pushing and Pulling Threaten to Tear You Apart," the definitive book on the romantic relationships of mama's boys and daddy's girls. http://www.IdealRelationships.com and http://www.SarahElizabethMalinak.com FREE e-Newsletter available!
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